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Windswept
On Pacific time
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
 
2012-03-26, 17:07

I don't know if this new thread will go anywhere, but I just stumbled over an old thread that I noticed a guest reading when I glanced down the "Who's Online" list. I didn't remember that thread, so I decided to check it out, and when I did, I came across what I thought was a funny post. Since I hated to see that post lost forever in the vaults of the archives, I thought I'd start a thread where amusing, favorite, or generally remarkable posts from current or past threads could be stored... just so they wouldn't be lost forever.

The post I thought was funny - especially because it was true! - was this:

(From the 2004 thread "Unpleasant Things to Discover")

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maciej View Post
Waking up in the middle of the night in order to use the toilet. Lifting up seat, sitting down, discovering racoon in bowl.
An adult animal might have done some damage to the sitter, but apparenly this creature sounds like it was a baby or very young - from Maciej's later description. I just thought the scene was quite funny to picture, and so I wanted to rescue the post from oblivion and save it in an easier-to-find place.

From this thread:

http://forums.applenova.com/showthread.php?t=809

Post is on Page One of thread.

If you decide to save some favorite posts here, please post the page number where the post is found, especially if the thread is a long one. Thanks.

Oh, and please retrieve posts only from threads available to the general public. Nothing from the Mod Forum, for example.
  quote
torifile
Less than Stellar Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Durham, NC
Send a message via AIM to torifile  
2012-03-26, 18:46

There should be a "favorite" button on posts. I'll see what I can dig up. I know for a fact that many of my favorites are from addabox and 'scates

If it's not red and showing substantial musculature, you're wearing it wrong.
  quote
Zodiac
Shiny, Musky, Fleshy Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: The Beer Store
 
2012-04-11, 22:40

Couldn't say anything about the best posts ever. But just reading through some of my old posts from when I was 13/14 was pretty funny to me.
  quote
Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2012-11-15, 12:31

This post is now the best, since we're including all threads. I won't be happy until I've heard Malcom Tucker use at least 70% of these gems.

http://septicscompanion.com/showcat.php?cat=insults


And because I couldn't find my British lexicon thread (I feel shame).

...into the light of a dark black night.
  quote
Chinney
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
 
2012-11-15, 23:29

Here's a good one, from some time ago:

Quote:
Originally Posted by xxxxx
ore time with you guys, it feels like a family. So I've decided to share my deepest thoughts with you all, and invite you to do the same.

Here are diary entries from Sunday morning. I'm including my wife's as well, to add a little context. So please, read a little deeper into my life, and feel free to share your hopes and dreams as well. We are all family, after all.




HER DIARY

Sunday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and aloof. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and vacant. Finally I decided to go to bed.

About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that his thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I also fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.



MY DIARY

Today the Flames lost.

But at least I got laid.
You get 3 guesses who posted. Actually, that is too generous...you get 1 guess.
  quote
Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2012-11-15, 23:55

LMAO

I take it back. Your post selection is clearly better than my newly found collection of British zingers.
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2012-11-16, 00:48

I'm gonna guess 709. *ducks*

Hahahaha...I'm kidding, brother man.

EDIT: Ignore me...I've a couple. Yet my spellinggg and grammer are impeckable. More gooder than ever.

Last edited by psmith2.0 : 2012-11-16 at 01:11.
  quote
709
¡Damned!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
 
2012-11-16, 21:24

One of my favorite posts ever wasn't here, but at AI. I don't know why it struck me with such delight, but I laughed hard and long. 3 Oct, 2006:


The Republican Party is in flames and it's raining gasoline.

Quote:
OK, so, um, WTF is up with the Republicans and the Bush White House? Is God angry? Are chickens coming home to roost? 5 weeks till the elections and Rove must have blood squirting out of his eyes.

Let's go down the list:

--Iraq. I mean, you know. Nothing new, really, but..... somewhere over the last few months seems to have crossed over into some kind of political death zone. Like, nobody's talking purple finger democracy any more and the only talking point left to the Republicans is some kind of bizarre "we fucked it up so we must be allowed to, um, keep doing whatever it is we are doing because we are mean and strong and democrats are weak and fearful". I mean, they sound insane, and given the poll numbers apparently not just to the usual suspects.

-- NIE report said to contain conclusion that Iraq is making terrorism worse. President blusters, tells everyone to wait to make up their mind until they read it. It says Iraq making terrorism worse. Huh?

--Woodward's book reveals Tenet runs over to White House with his hair on fire to press urgent sense that al Qaeda attack is imminent. White House and Condi claim no such meeting. Meeting is confirmed, White House and Condi say "oh, that meeting", yeah, they took Tenet very seriously. Except for the part about apparently forgetting it ever happened. All of this in the climate of renewed discussion of who did what when after Clinton's push back against Wallace, which was supposed to afford the right a nostalgic trip down "volatile crazy liberal lane" and a firming up of the pre-election "Clinton did it" meme. Rove. Eyes. Blood.

--Foley scandal. Good lord. Are these guys just tired of pretending to govern and trying to get tossed out? Foley, bad, House leadership sitting on it, worse, Hastert's completely brain dead response, changing his story every 15 minutes for the first day, completely flabbergasting. Don't they have handlers or something?

-- And, just because he apparently felt left out, Bill Frist allows as how the Taliban, the practically-a-chapter-of-al-Qaeda Taliban is so mighty that it cannot be defeated and should instead be made part of the Afghani government. Karl Rove's dog explodes.

Really, I've never seen the like of it. On top of the ongoing abysmal poll numbers and the seemingly endless Abramoff related fall-out and assorted scandals it's positively biblical.

I fully expect a sky blackening cloud of locusts to emerge from Dick Cheney's mouth.

And it all hits at supposed Republican strengths: national security and morals. I dunno, if Rove has an October surprise up his, um, sleeve, he better pull it out pretty quick and it better be huge. Cause another week or two of this and it really won't matter anymore.

Courtesy of addabox. Just brilliant. That I still remember that post (likely because of my mental image of Tenet's hair on fire) is testament to it's greatness.

So it goes.
  quote
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