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Amazon.com customer reviews as an art form.


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Amazon.com customer reviews as an art form.
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murbot
Hoonigan
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2005-11-21, 15:51

Seriously, I had no idea people put forth this much effort in their reviews of items at amazon.com.

I had my unicycle bug brought back to life after reading an article about Extreme Unicycling. I've always wanted to get myself one, to be embarassed on while I'm learning and faceplanting... but then to get laid a ton once I get the hang of it. Of course, they're full of macho-appeal.

So I google the brand of unicycle this dude mentions in the article, the Unistar LX, and click the first hit I get - a link to a page at Amazon:

Unistar LX Unicycle 20 Inch



The second review on the page is freaking awesome. Buddy obviously puts a little thought into these things. I'll paste it in here for ease of reading:

Bottom line: chicks dig unicycles. Back when I was a freshman in high school, my unicycle-powered antics (and sensitive ponytail) enabled me to date one of the upperclass girls, who would otherwise be out of my league. I also juggled, but grew tired of the constant derision.

As I matured, I've decided to live my life with a "uni" theme. I cultivate my unibrow, my van has a unicorn airbrushed on the side, and I wear a uniform at work. I was going to read a book about Ted Kaczynski, until I realized he spelled his nom-de-guerre with an "a."

So it stands to reason that I'd get my hands on this superb item. The jet-black color adds an aura of sinister coolness, like it's the valued accessory of a ninja stealth commando. The ample seat comfortably accommodates my rear-end, and the shiny spokes flash hypnotically, dazzling any onlookers.

Thanks to the sturdiness of my Unistar, I've become a legendary figure on the UMX circuit. My specialty freestyle move is a Nac Nac/Tailwhip combo. On a lesser unicycle, such a move would be almost impossible.

Just picture yourself chugging down the dirt track, pedaling furiously, launched into the air off a massive hill. Get yourself a Unistar, and you won't have to only imagine it; you can LIVE IT.

And let the ladies flock your way....


I figure this can't be a one hit wonder... too well done. I click to see his other reviews, and it's more of the same review goodness. I won't go listing all the funny stuff, you can go have a read if you're bored. Some stuff is better than others, and I haven't even scanned half of his pages yet, but there's some pretty damn funny/interesting stuff. Definitely not where I expected to find some good supply of reading material that's for sure.

BTW, anyone here ride (or have ridden) a unicycle? Got any tips for me? (other than "don't be an idiot")

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torifile
Less than Stellar Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Durham, NC
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2005-11-21, 15:54

Drinking before getting on the uni is a great way learn. I highly recommend it.
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sunrain
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portlandia
 
2005-11-21, 17:00

Probably a trip to...



...wouldn't be a bad idea.
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2005-11-21, 19:30

If I want to fall on my face I'd rather just pound a few beers than spin around real fast.
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curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2005-11-25, 05:13

relevant video
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