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The Cringing Cruelty Thread


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The Cringing Cruelty Thread
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Moogs
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2004-07-18, 16:07

OK, a recent post of Carol's gave me an idea. Time to 12-step our way to a guilt-free memory of our childhoods; Dr. Phil will be available for serious inteventions. So here it is:

As a kid (let's say 17 and under), what's the cruelest thing you ever did to another kid?

and...

What's the cruelest thing that was ever done to you as a kid, by a another kid.

AND...

Which incident came first? Did the latter cause the former?

Should be an interesting psychological experiment.

...into the light of a dark black night.
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2004-07-18, 16:39

I'm sitting here, thinking and thinking, and I honestly don't have a true answer for either. I guess that's good. I was kinda quiet and never a brat or bully, so I can honestly say I have no real memory of being cruel to someone at that point. Maybe just standard, careless thoughtlessness (as I entered my teenage years), but I never went out of my way to hurt someone, stranger or otherwise.

And I can't recall being treated cruelly by anyone. I was never picked on or bullied and I had friends - all the way up to my teens and throughout high school - from all the groups. Maybe just standard teen-age razzing and name-calling, but nothing so bad that it actually left an impression.

I do remember a girl named Becky Clark - from Wisconsin...I'll always remember that - calling me "freckle face" in third grade and throwing a rock at me and hitting my ear. I think that's about as bad as it ever got and the fact that she got in MAJOR trouble was all I needed to let it go.

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Naderfan
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2004-07-18, 16:39

Hmmm...interesting idea. I'm trying to think, but I can't remember doing anything overly cruel as a kid. I mean, granted, in jr. high/high school there was the usual bitchy teenage girl crap and I was mean to some people. Ironically though, a year or two later I was good friends with those people, so there you go.

Likewise, I can't remember anyone doing anything overly cruel to me. Again, kids do mean things to each other all the time, but that's just a part of life. You learn from being both the victim and the agressor and hopefully, you can chalk it down as being a kid, learn from it, move on, and if you did something really cruel, find the person you did it to and apologize.

There was one thing...when I was little, like in 4th grade, there was this guy in my class and I didn't like him much. But one day, a friend of mine called me and told me that this guy wanted to go out with me (typical elementary school type stuff: Sit next to each other at lunch, play together at recess, etc.) I told him to tell the guy that he should go to the hospital and get his brain checked if he thought I'd go out with him. Of course, my friend laughed hysterically. But after a few days, I began to feel pretty bad about it. But oh well.

Last edited by Naderfan : 2004-07-18 at 16:48.
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InactionMan
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2004-07-18, 16:51

I don't think I can name the one cruelest thing I did as I kid because I was a horrible little shit. I'll think on it and try to come with the incident that caused the most long term damage. It was never anything physical, I was far to scrawny to beat anyone up, but I could be pretty vicious with my words.

Nothing cruel was ever really done to me. I usually struck first and that was a self-defense mechanism for always being the smallest kid in school and not wanting to become a target.
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Moogs
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2004-07-18, 17:11

All right I'll go first (clever bastards).


The cruelest thing I ever did to another kid was after a little league baseball game I had played in. Usually, I ended up waiting for my ride home after the weeknight games. I carpooled with another pitcher on my team (I guess we were about 10 or 11 at the time), and our mothers both had other kids to look after / errands to run while we played. The place we played at was remote. There weren't any houses or apartments or stores within eyesight. Basically, six diamonds and the requisite concession stands, dugouts, etc had been carved out of a forest area.

After the games it would get really quiet as people would empty out into their parked cars quickly and take off. Well, not too long after the last cars filed out of the lot, all the lights would get shut off on the little league fields, leaving only the ambient light from the pony league fields to illuminate the place. It was close enough (about 200 yards away maybe and elevated about 30 feet above us) that you could see in the shadows and see well enough to not walk into things, but still pretty dark. If you stood more than say 15 feet away from someone you couldn't see their face clearly.

So this one game, my mom had agreed to bring a third kid along, who lived near the baseball complex. He had just moved into town and I guess our mothers had been introduced prior, and so she was doing this kid's mom a favor as she didn't know the area but wanted her son involved in some activities right away.

Well turns out this kid was one of the shy quiet types who wasn't very athletic. But during the ride over both my friend and I were nice and made small talk. We took him to the place where the teams waiting to play warm up and introduced him to the coach when he got there. The game was played and the kid didn't, basically. And for the most part we all just kind of small talked with him in the dugout, but really didn't pay much attention.

No one that I can recall was overtly mean to the kid; we didn't really have but one asshole on the team and he was a twerp. One of those short kids in school who hangs out with the bully and yaps like a little dog at everyone, because that was the only way he could get away with it and not get pummeled on a weekly basis.

So anyway, the game ends and people file out and the three of us are basically left standing around. We played catch under the lights for a while but I think I threw a wild one and the ball was lost in the weeds just before the lights got shut off. Well our parents always told us to go up to the pony league fields if they weren't there when the lights went out, but of course boys will be boys. We started climbing onto the dugout roofs, breaking into the umpire booth (where all the chalk is, etc.) and just generally being little scoundrels.

Well, at one point (and sorry this is so long) my buddy and I decide we want to see if the concession stand was left open, cuz gosh that would mean free "Big League Chew" (disgustingly sweet bubble gum that came in a pouch like chaw) or maybe some popcorn. So we run off and all of a sudden this kid we're with yells "noo!" We both sort of stopped and turned, wondering what the matter was. He said "I don't want to go over there... you can't see." Well, this was highly unusual to us because obviously we knew the place well and it didn't scare us (kid logic), so why should it scare him?

So we pleaded with him to follow us but he wouldn't. So my buddy says "Common with us or we're going to leave you here in the dark." The kid yelped "Noo!" And my buddy gets that evil kid grin, taps me on the shoulder with his glove and says "common!" Now it comes to it... do I do the right thing and stay with the new kid while my buddy looks for treasure at the concession stand (in the middle of the complex), or do I run with him? Well, this being the Cruelty thread. I ran.

That kid - and I'm not kidding - screamed like he had been kidnapped or something. He was scared shitless, and I just kept running. We got to the booth, it was locked and I immediately felt like a complete fucking demon-boy. I felt horrible because I had been left in the dark when playing outside with my brothers and neighbors when I was younger, and even though I knew it wasn't a rational fear in most places I knew how helpless it felt.

Well, we ran straight back and tried to apologize and get the kid to cheer up. Told him we'd take up to the pony league field and maybe we'd see someone we knew / get a free soda or something ("coke" in southern parlance of course). Well he wouldn't have it. He was just petrified and was now sure that anywhere we tried to lead him, we were up to no good. We even tried to run towards the field at one point, figuring he'd be so scared that he'd run with us (towards the well lit areas), but it was clear after about 10 yards he wasn't moving.

So we went back and tried to comfort him. Told him we ran around the grounds in the dark all the time, that my mom would be by soon, etc. The kid just clammed up and stuck next us like we were his mean old big brothers, and he had no choice but to be near us vs. alone in the dark. Eventually we all got in the car and were all quiet. My mom could sense right away something was up but she didn't know what. When she tried being nice to the new kid and asked him how he liked it, he sobbed a bit when he answered and that was it.

We dropped him off and my mom laid into me pretty good. Said it was my responsibility to make the kid feel welcomed and good about being on the team, and that I had done the exact opposite. Think she grounded me for a week when his mom eventually called, wondering why her kid was so upset. My buddy got the switch I think (whooped, as we called it).


As for the crulest thing ever done to me, there are a variety of bad incidents before and after this one, most involving one of my dipshit neighbors who was older and unpopular at school (but tollerated in the small street we lived on because there weren't enough kids around to exclude him when it came time to play footballor whatever). Bastard even fell on me (ya right) in the snow once and broke my arm. The fat fuck.

But in the end justice was done because he wound up a common criminal with a record straight out of high school, knocking girlfriends up, etc. He did so many bad things to me when I was a kid that when I was older and found out he had been arrested a few times, and all the rest of the sordid details, I actually wanted to go to the county jail where he was being held and say "who's the dumbass now, you fat fuck?" But naturally these things are best left to the imagination and that's where it stayed. Never saw the SOB as an adult....

...into the light of a dark black night.
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InactionMan
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2004-07-18, 17:17

Moogs, if that is the worst you have done than you are a saint. Seriously.
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Moogs
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2004-07-18, 17:37

Well, I can honestly say as a kid I only bullied / physically hurt [one or two other kids,] but that was more born out of a mutual animosity than cruelty. We were cruel to each other I guess.

I was a pretty easy-going kid. But trust me when I tell you, even my devilish buddy (who had more a nose for trouble than I) felt really bad after it happened. I don't describe it well enough probably. But imagine being this timid little kid, not very strong or brave... you move to a new home. You don't know anyone but these two guys whose parent took you to the game, so you have to trust them...

...and then not knowing where you are really in relation to home, not knowing where to run. 200 yards in the dark -- the other fields -- can be a long ways to a kid... might as well have been 200 km. When you got that kid logic going, who knows what lurks down the path, right? And so they leave you there screaming. And I don't mean it was a whiny kid scream; it was a scream of terror almost. Maybe he was too sheltered and maybe that taught him some lesson later on that he benefitted from (not to be so afraid all the time maybe), but I felt lower than dirt that night.

Cruel was the perfect word for it IMO, because I knew before I ran... this wasn't just him being a whiny brat. He was genuinelly afraid. I didn't understand why and I didn't think of why, but I knew the sound of fear... and I ignored him. We probably ran about 100, 120 yards away from him into these dark shapes that we knew were just conession stands and bathrooms... but he didn't know that. To him, he was being deserted.

...into the light of a dark black night.

Last edited by Moogs : 2004-07-18 at 17:47.
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Windswept
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2004-07-18, 17:41

I'm not sure the following incident was exactly 'cruel'; but it wasn't 'playing by the rules' either.

When I was six, I had a sort of boyfriend who lived down the street. One day he came flying down to my house and said he would show me 'his' if I would show him 'mine'. Well, we went into my room, and into the walk-in closet for privacy. But, being a wily female, I said: "Okay, how about if I show you my teddy bear's instead?" He (what a dummy) said 'okay'.

So, he showed me 'his', and I showed him my bear (who was always 'naked', of course); and my friend went away happy. I suppose there are lessons to be learned from this story, but I'm not sure what they are.
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Moogs
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2004-07-18, 17:51

You tease! :wow:


Seriously, that's not cruel. That's just tricky.

I remember when that first happened to me (I couldn't have been more than 5 or so). I was at the beach in South Carolina and this little girl was staying at the place next to ours... and our families sort of hung out on the beach every day. We built sand castles together and chased each other around with empty crab shells and all that. And so one day we get that bright idea that all little kids eventually get, and run back to one of our beach houses to bear all. She showed me too, not like Carol and that poor deprived kid down the street.

...into the light of a dark black night.
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Windswept
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Join Date: May 2004
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2004-07-18, 17:59

I feel like such a *rat* !!!

PS - Wonder where murbot is? I bet he'd have some interesting stories to tell.
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Moogs
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2004-07-18, 18:44

Murbot's stories haven not yet been rated by the ESRB.
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709
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Join Date: May 2004
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2004-07-18, 19:45

The worst thing I've probably done is to shoot one of my brother's friends in the back with a BB-Gun.

It happened while I was in Grade 6, and my teacher asked us to write a report on what we wanted to be when we 'grew up'. I wanted to be a Hit-Man. It was the weekend previous to the turning in of our 'picks', and I was out with my little Daisy in the back woods behind my house. Well, I saw one of my little brother's chums poking around in the brush, sighted him in, and fired upon his back (it was late autumn, and he was wearing a thick wool vest, so I knew I wasn't going to hurt him).

Alas, I underestimated the power of my little Daisy friend (but luckily not my aim). It did indeed hurt him. Or at least stung badly by the way he dropped rolling and clutched his back. I ran up to him asking if he was OK, and he immediately knew I had fired upon him. I made up some story about shooting upwards at a quail or some flighted beast and that the BB must have inadvertently dropped down from heaven to his poor back. I don't think he completely believed me, but, well, I had a gun in my hand and I think he agreed to the fact that God was punishing us for being out in the blueberry fields on a Sunday morning. Gah. I was sick to my stomach.

When Monday came around I picked 'Landscape Architect'. I got an A.

So it goes.
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709
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Join Date: May 2004
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2004-07-18, 19:56

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogs
My buddy got the switch I think (whooped, as we called it).
Ahhh, the switch. I used to have to cut my own (Willow variety, of course). Too small, you'd get whooped twice as hard...too big, it would leave welts from here until Friday...

Good Times.

So it goes.
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2004-07-18, 20:08

Haha...I remember that! Ohmigosh...

"Go out there and get a switch and bring it here...". The height of cruelty. Not only am I about to get it, but I have to help load the fucking gun and pack the powder!



I always thought - even at a young age, while walking to retrieve the instrument of my doom - "what the kind of nonsense is THIS?!? Doesn't seem right...".



You get older and sassier and say stuff like "What's with me going out in the yard and finding you something to whip me with...just take off your belt and get it over with already!"

Not my finest hour, and perhaps one of the worst battle strategies ever implemented.

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Luca
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2004-07-18, 20:17

Soooooo evil. Any parent who whips their kids with a switch deserves to receive the full effect of the child's rebelliousness later in life.

Yeah. As if doing shit like that is going to teach them anything. Just wait until they're old enough to know better, and just skip out and leave the house for a few hours whenever their parents get mad. Great way to get your kids to move out early, if that's what you want o_0.
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709
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Join Date: May 2004
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2004-07-18, 20:21

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luca
Soooooo evil. Any parent who whips their kids with a switch deserves to receive the full effect of the child's rebelliousness later in life.

Yeah. As if doing shit like that is going to teach them anything. Just wait until they're old enough to know better, and just skip out and leave the house for a few hours whenever their parents get mad. Great way to get your kids to move out early, if that's what you want o_0.
You got it. I moved out when I was was 16 and didn't talk to my parents for years (there was a *lot* more than the switch, though). Again, good times.

So it goes.
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2004-07-18, 20:22

Ah, pipe down. It built character. (that line is directed at Luca and the "switch", not whatever else happened to 709).

I probably only got spanked 3-4 times in my entire life, if that. I mostly got grounded or, when I got older, got the guitar taken away.

The HORROR!!!!!!!!!!! They knew my weak spot, and it kept me in line, for the most part, when I could've been an all-out terror (12-17 years old).

"DON'T TAKE THE GIBSON...I'll be GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!" (yeah, I had a Gibson at 12 years of age
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709
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Join Date: May 2004
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2004-07-18, 20:32

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0
You get older and sassier and say stuff like "What's with me going out in the yard and finding you something to whip me with...just take off your belt and get it over with already!"
Heh. I remember my parents going to the hardware store and asking for *extra* yardsticks (they were free, and inevitably broken over my bare heinie).

The 'belt' was only used for particulary heinous crimes...like feeding our hunting dogs too late. My father used to take great pleasure in the moments before the beating. He would fold the belt in half and do that little looping 'CRACK!!!' My young bare ass pointed firmly out in fear as I bent over my bed. Sometimes he would even hit the side posts *hard*, sending the reverberations through me as he passed out of sight behind me for *mine*.

Whatever, he's now a poor, wretched old man who has no respect from his son...and he knows it. I'll take that revenge served cold, thank you very much.

And again...good times.

So it goes.
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Moogs
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2004-07-18, 21:14

Damn 709... glad you got through it. Most of the times I got it it was just a belt or a backhand... but there was one particularly nasty occasion that won't get mentioned here. Wasn't a little kid, took the car one day when I knew I wasn't supposed to. Got into a fender bender... big mistake.

...into the light of a dark black night.
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709
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Join Date: May 2004
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2004-07-18, 21:20

Meh. Water under the bridge my friend.

I'm happy as the proverbial lark nowadays. Got my own successful biz, a good bit of change in the bank and a gift-from-god girlfriend (going on 8 years now).

I really couldn't be happier.

So it goes.
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Barto
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2004-07-18, 21:30

A goth kid I knew attempted suicide (cry for attention yada yada yada). Following that my friend and I would chant "down the road not across the street and MAKE IT COUNT!" whenever we saw him.

Good times

The sky was deep black; Jesus still loved me. I started down the alley, wailing in a ragged bass.
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Luca
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2004-07-18, 22:40

Oh, I got a couple spankings. Only when I was little. I just don't think it would work for kids over, say, 6 or 7. As in, it would do more harm than good. Also, using an object is bad, because there's no point other than to just cause more pain, which won't make a difference. I remember when I got spankings, I cried mostly because of the humiliation and because I was totally restricted and couldn't move. Not because of the pain. They really didn't hurt.
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Windswept
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2004-07-18, 22:56

Wrt switches:

We had a willow tree in the backyard. A big one. An endless supply of switches. My mom would switch the back of my legs; it would sting and hurt like crazy, and leave long, thin red welts. She didn't have to do it very often. I was five.

So, one day I decided to try my plastic scissors on the hair of the two boys who lived across the street. I was going to give them a haircut. I didn't really think plastic scissors could possibly cut hair, but they did, it seems. I chopped their hair up horribly, and their mother was furious.

My mom was going to switch me, but this time I decided to run. I saw that the six-foot backyard gate was locked, and thought if I went up over the top, mom couldn't get to me if I made it to the other side. So I flew up the gate, hardly even touching it I was climbing so fast. When I looked back, though, mom was following right up the gate after me.

I was so shocked and horrified to see her climbing as fast as I did, and I'll never to this day forget the look on her face. It was a look of wry amusement as she observed my shock and surprise that she could climb as well as I, and that I was going to get my just deserts after all.
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alcimedes
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2004-07-19, 01:23

Ok, i was a mean kid. i'm sure i'm leaving some out. Argento and Naderfan can fill in a few if i missed them.
  1. Stuff snow down cousin's back, piled shovelfuls over her head to make her a "real snowman"
  2. tied 6 year old cousin to a tree (maybe 4?) because he was being annoying. left him there crying until his mom untied him
  3. took cousin's (they grew up next door, so more like brother and sister) anyway, took his favorite stuffed animal and smashed his head against a table, right in front of his face. broke off one of his eyes. i think it's still traumatizes him to this day
  4. played a game where my cousin would run past my doorway, and my friend and i would throw stuff at him really hard. he tried not to get hit, we tried to hit him
  5. shot a friend with a BB gun because it was funny. didn't just shoot him once. (it was spring loaded though, so not nearly as bad as the pump kind)
  6. Came to school and was told the teacher was crying. asked why and was told a kid i didn't like had died. said "good, and i thought today was going to be a bad day" turned out the kid was really dead
  7. my sister was in a car accident and was suffering from a mild concussion. i tried to convince her that she still owed me $10 from the $20 i'd loaned her. of course i'd never loaned her any money
  8. girl was getting on my nerves on the bus, so i made fun of her until she started crying

ok, there's a lot more. anyway, i'm now working to make up for a childhood of evil shitness. i have a long way to go.
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Argento
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2004-07-19, 01:34

This man is evil, pure pure evil. I still remember my DAMN FURBAL

Umm let me see most evil thing I did was make this girl on my street bawl her eyes out becase she is the most annoying bitch ever with a terrtible last name.

I'll think of more later but I'm trying to get over the terrible memories once again rekindeled thanks to my loveable cousin...and we did steal 10 dollars once that was moderately evil.

And All That Could Have Been
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alcimedes
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2004-07-19, 01:41

whatever. that kid was an annoying fuck. his losing $10 to pay for our movies was the rightous hand of God.
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stevegong
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2004-07-19, 02:28

I used to be bus monitor of my school bus when I was in 5th grade and I would have fun making up scary stories (involving the kids themselves) on the fly, things like they're cursed and to break the curse they have to join the cult of the dead monkey. In order to join I needed to collect their pinkies, etc etc.

So these kids for some reason always gave me their fullest attention when I told them the story but just about every afternoon I'd have a mass cryingfest on the bus.


Come to think of it it's not a very nice thing but I guess if they liked listening so much...
...I think it helped me in my originality though...
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Kickaha
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2004-07-19, 08:36

Hmmm... same guy was involved with both directions of cruelty here.

I was small for my age in grade school, started almost a full year earlier than I should have *then* skipped first grade, so I was the class punching bag.

This one guy was the leader of the punching - not the biggest guy in the group, but the loudest and the born leader... everyone did what he said, or directed, and he hated my guts. Five years I put up with his shit - it was so bad that I would literally hide in the bushes during recess so they couldn't find me. Sad, but true - I was one scared little kid, until we moved away when I was 11.

When I was 12, I shot up 10 inches. When I was 18, I gained about 40lbs of muscle mass.

I think I was 20, and visiting back home, in line at the bank. I'm standing there, when I hear *his voice* behind me. "Smith? Is that you?"

The hairs went up on the back of my neck. My stomach clenched tight. Instant, utter, animal fear.

I turned around, slowly, eyes straight ahead... and then I had to drop them a few inches.

He'd topped out at 5'7" at most, was about 30lbs overweight, wearing a mechanics outfit with his name on the patch, and covered with grime. His teeth were bad, his hair was greasy, and his skin atrocious.

"How the hell are ya, man?" he says, beaming from ear to ear like we're long lost friends.

I looked him up and down, once, and simply said "Obviously better than you," and walked off.

The look of utter shock and destruction on his face *almost* made me feel guilty.

But not quite.

My other brain is hung like a horse too.
#IRC isn't old school.
Old school is being able to say 'finger me' with a straight face.
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Moogs
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2004-07-19, 08:49




That's not cruel, that's poetic revenge. I can only surmise how good it might've felt for me, at age 20 or so, to visit my old neighbor who become a hoodlum / general low-life after high school. Laughing stock of the neighborhood as it were. Would've been sa-weet.

...into the light of a dark black night.
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billybobsky
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2004-07-19, 14:26

i was spanked full on with a large well worn belt as a kid for a lot of random shit mostly involving beating up my brother or breaking things or peeing on things (i wasn't really house broken until college ), the last time was when my parents had a guest over and my little brother and i were bathing together -- i was the responsible 6 year old and he squeezed toothpaste into his eye. i told him to wash it out with water -- thinking he would turn on the faucet and use that water, but he used the soapy bath water and started screeching at the top of his lungs. my parents flew in, my brother got off a garbled yadda yadda bruce yadda -- i think he was trying to tell them i tried to help. next thing i know, with a still wet behind my father spanked me the hardest he had ever done twenty times. it was soon afterwards that my mom asked me where i got the somewhat bleeding open sores on my butt that she and my father decided to stop spanking me (I had started kindergarten, i honestly believed at the time that they were afraid of being accused of child abuse -- thank god for the external savior that kindergarten was)...
another episode of cruelty acted upon me: i was watching television in my parents bedroom at about the same time. my brother was on the bed playing with a tow truck car that was roughly ten times the size of a matchbox car (in other words heavy). i asked him if i could play with it. his response was to, with all of his 3 year old strength, slam the tow truck's corner into the back of my head. i was unable to walk and couldn't really scream, so i crawled out of the bedroom leaving a trail of blood until i was at the balcony that overlooked the living room. i quietly called my dad who was watching nascar (the freak), who looked up and was stricken with a face of terror the likes of which i have never seen cast since (my guess is that my face was covered with blood -- i thought he was worried about the carpet). he immediately was upstairs, shaved the back of my head and decided that while i should get stitches it wasn't necessary and the television was soooo inviting. my brother didn't get punished for that one.
on the upside a few weeks later i took my brother's head and slammed it into the sharp edge of some exercise equipment and ran away (bleeding doesn't begin to describe what it looked like as i ran). (that was cruel, but i was angry and still am about that tow truck thing)....
most of my cruelty up until i was 15 involved psychological warfare against my brother because at first he would annoy me, then he wouldn't make rational arguments, and then he would just disagree... at 15 i decided it was unbecoming of a young adult to beat a twelve year old into submission...

that is up to 17... there are things i do now that are cruel to the people i care about the most -- its almost reflexive (i sometimes think i was a sociopath that chose a different direction)...
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