[kscherer]

Star Wars is crap, says judge.

[psmith2.0]

So is your link, says Paul.



Seriously, it doesn't seem to go anywhere ("Safari Can't Find the Server"). Is it an Onion article or something?

[turtle]

His link is missing the ":" between https and //.

[drewprops]

https://www.ktvb.com/mobile/article/...6-771ceebf7ae7

[psmith2.0]

That’s funny. For him to go out of his way like that, you can tell he was a longtime fan and these recent ones really hit him wrong.

I think he’s been sitting on that one, waiting for the chance to use it.

“I need a case/ruling where I can shoehorn in a Star Wars jab…maybe today is the day!”

Just join a web form, your honor. It’s a lot quicker.

[kscherer]

Thanks to Drew for fixing that. I’m traveling and on my phone, so I’m blaming that.

[psmith2.0]

I don't know if I can think of anything sillier, or more unasked-for. But hey, I guess I could say that about dozens, if not hundreds, of movies over the years.

If it's going to be anything like the last one, why even bother? But, hey...no Shia Labeouf, so it automatically has that going for it.

I found this part interesting:

Swastikas on set have been covered to avoid offence. A source said: "They're desperate not to cause offence, so filming will mainly take place at night, under the cover of darkness.

Two other Indy movies - and quite a few others since the 1940's - have directly centered around that bunch, and their imagery/trappings. Were those steps taken then, I wonder? Or is this a result of more modern-era tiptoeing/sensitivity and the almighty rush to not offend anyone, at any time, about anything (good luck with that). It's a movie set. I bet most folks can tell the difference, and make allowances for such things?

But, in 2021, maybe not. Best to just play it safe all around, I suppose.

Timeline-wise, I'm not even sure how Nazis/swastikas would factor in to an Indy movie set, I presume, even later than the 1950's atomic/Soviet-era of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Perhaps a flashback, or some sort of storage or archive setting? Or some sort of secret, they-never-really-went-away (a la the Galactic Empire > The First Order) type of plot?

I do see that Steven Spielberg, while an executive producer, actually isn't directing this one. James Mangold (Cop Land, Walk the Line, 3:10 to Yuma, Logan, Ford v Ferrari, etc.) is heading this one up. Somehow that just seems...wrong. John Williams is listed in the IMDb credits, but that may be for his past involvement (that main theme), but he's the only musical composer listed, so...

And George Lucas, other than "character" writing credit (from the original story), doesn't appear anywhere either. So an Indiana Jones movie with no direct Lucas involvement and Spielberg not behind the camera? Again, who's really asking for this? You'll forgive me if my Don't Really Give a Shit™ meter is kinda pegging the red this morning.

Dork that I am, of course I'll see it. But I also know, due to 2015-2019 and a certain other franchise, not to get my hopes up much at all. Ford is 78. As much as I didn't really buy him as Han Solo in 2015 (or Indy in 2008), it's really a lot to ask at this point. I know the jokes are all trite and played-out, but...they also make sense, and exist for a reason. It's just this side of silly, frankly.

I do see where Mads Mikkelsen and that Fleabag lady, Phoebe Waller (please don't tell me Indy's gonna put it to her...that, too, is a bit much to ask for/expect), are in the cast. No growed-up Short Round?!

Speaking of Mads Mikkelsen, he's becoming a genre go-to guy, isn't he? He's doing the Lecter thing on TV (or is that over?), he was involved in a Star Wars movie, he played a Bond villain in Casino Royale (with Daniel Craig). Craig was also in Cowboys & Aliens with, you guessed it, Harrison Ford. He was also in 2010's Clash of the Titans, Marvel's Dr. Strange and in the upcoming Fantastic Beats and Where to Find Them installment, which, I understand, is a Harry Potter-related/spin-off type of thing? Mads Mikkelsen is the uniting glue that's holding the movie universe together...Star Wars, Marvel, Bond/007, Hannibal Lecter, Harry Potter...good grief!

[kscherer]

Raiders of the Woke Ark?

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Woken Warriors?

Indiana Jones and the Not Nazis?

—

Can't they just make a movie and tell a story any more? How many check boxes have to get checked? I'm with you, I'm a total sucker and will probably watch it for nostalgia's sake, but if the reviews come back with "All the sensitive trigger boxes got checked" then I'll go ahead and skip it. I saw about one movie per year in the big-box theaters pre-COVID, so I save that $20/person for something special—usually Star Wars or some other gotta-see-it-no-matter-what flick. Indiana Jones would be that, but not if they're gonna go all sensitive on it.

"Nazi's are the enemy" is a real thing, but if we can't even show the enemy, then I suspect that cowardice is a bigger enemy than Nazis.

[psmith2.0]

I don't think that'll make it to the story, it's just on the set the article mentions. Which I still find odd. They'll cover up offending symbols/imagery during breaks/off-hours, even though they're going to wind up on film for all to see in the end. Seems a bit overdone and preemptively "aren't we sensitive?" cookie-mongering.

It isn't as though the studio or anyone involved in the production is promoting or glorifying anything. They're movie props/sets, seen countless times before.

They're probably just covering their butt.

[kscherer]

So, they're covering stuff up so someone on set doesn't get offended?

Is that better or worse?

[psmith2.0]

Someone on set, or in the little town they're shooting in. I don't know.

I'm not defending it, I'm just pointing out the likely "why".

I'm more interested/curious how it fits into a plot set well into the 1950's (or possibly even the 60's). Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, released 13 years ago, was apparently set in 1957. I have to assume this new one would be in the 60's (space race? Vietnam?). I just think that character worked in a 30's/40's setting, the original inspiration for the character/tone. Having him lurch forward, decades afterwards, just doesn't work for me. That ...Crystal Skull movie is completely forgettable. I remember little snippets (the opening Area 51 sequence, a small town motorcycle chase and Marion's return) and that's about it. On the other hand, I know every line, every camera angle/movement, every bit of background activity, etc. of Raiders of the Lost Ark. It, like Jaws, is a near-perfect movie...tight, lean, no wasted space or unnecessary jabber. That early exposition scene is still one of the greatest movie setups every written/filmed. In less than 4-5 minutes, we learn all we need to know - the background, the stakes, Hitler's reason for wanting it, etc.

[kscherer]

Well, I guess the Nazi angle would work if they head on down to Argentina and chase after some ancient South American temple with alien Nazis. The alien ghost of Adolph Hitler is living in this temple, you see, and he's controlling his minions with alien Jedi mind control and there's probably some cannibalistic monkeys in there shaped like giant ants.

And maybe a boat.

And the girl is totally into geriatric archeology types with whips.

[Frank777]

Look, we Canadians have been banned from movie theatres a long time. So we're naturally a bit behind on things.

But when exactly did stuff like this start making the rounds? I honestly thought this was an Onion or Babylon Bee joke.

[psmith2.0]

Shocking...Harrison Ford injures himself, rehearsing, on the set of new Indy flick.



Hang it up, pal. Nobody's asking for this movie and if you can't even rehearse a (fake) fight without incurring a serious shoulder injury, maybe it's time to do the Clint thing and step away from the action stuff and just do "old man" roles where you sit on a couch, or in a jury box, and just talk?

He's gonna kill himself in his "victory lap" years, revisiting all his big roles while grabbing that $$$. But nobody is asking for Blade Runner: WGAFF and Jack Ryan: The Diaper Chronicles.

He's aging about as gracefully as Priscilla Presley.

[kscherer]

Yep. Some folks are smart enough to get out while they're on top, and others want a chance to swim in the muck before they sail into the grave.

Whatever.

I'd feel better about it if I knew there were folks involved who truly understood the property and could rediscover those original roots, much the way the Mandalorian producers have. Otherwise, I have zero confidence that this will be anything other than "aliens and WWII tech that couldn't possibly exist".

[drewprops]

You assholes CLEARLY do not understand what it takes to achieve FORTUNE and GLORY.



...

[kscherer]

You mean, like crashing my plane into a golf course?

You're right, I should try that out!

[psmith2.0]

I know what it takes to achieve dignity, realizing one's youth/glory days and believability have long passed.

Had the Indiana Jones movie series ended with that third entry from 1989 with Sean Connery, there isn't a soul on the planet who would've squawked or felt short-changed. As with 1983's Return of the Jedi, a wonderful saga was began, expanded and wrapped up in three enjoyable, well-made and endlessly watchable movies. Everything beyond that hasn't helped one bit, big picture.

You catch lightning in a bottle. And when all the original players, in front of and behind the camera, are still in that mode, you might catch it 1-2 more times within a brief period where everyone is still on board and audiences are eager. You're asking a lot to try and "recapture that magic" a thousand years later when nobody involved is believable in the role.

PS - Before anyone says "dude...007!", that's a completely different thing. By my count, six actors (Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan and Craig) have played the role for nearly 60 years, with reboots/resets along the way and each actor, for better or worse, putting their own stamp on things and the movies existing in their own continuity for a few years, and featuring that particular actor. In other words, Sean Connery wasn't playing the character in Skyfall or Spectre, so they don't seem quite as desperate/ridiculous.

Apple and oranges.

IMO, the last we should've seen of Indy was him, his dad, Marcus Brody and Sallah all, literally, riding off into the sunset together at the end of ...the Last Crusade. A lovely ending, all our crew together (and with the notion in the back of our minds that Indy may live forever, having chosen "wisely"). Then people wouldn't have to twist themselves into knots trying to pretend/convince themselves that 2008 entry was a good movie. Not even the return of the Karen Allen was enough to capture that 1981 magic.

[kscherer]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 … 2008 entry was a good movie. Not even the return of the Karen Allen was enough to capture that 1981 magic.

I think it was a fun movie, but like those Star Wars after-thoughts, it just didn't fit. It felt like a good "adventure" movie, but it didn't feel like a good "Indiana Jones" movie. Thus, it adds nothing to the story of Indiana Jones and, yes, it could have been left out and no one would have cared.

And, Indiana Jones isn't a character that can be replaced with someone other than Harrison Ford, so carrying on the story like 007 makes no sense to me. Let it go, man!

[psmith2.0]

I fully agree. It's a Ford thing, IMO. I don't know why, but I just can't imagine someone else in the hat, etc. It's a shame, because I love movies set in that 30's/40's timeframe, so I'd love further adventures set in that period. But it would just feel weird with someone else. I hope nobody is foolish enough to even try. But I'm sure they will, at some point.

That 2008 movie could've been anything/anyone. It just didn't feel anything like the others, sure enough. Had it been some other character/lead completely - Nicolas Cage in one of his batshit-crazy efforts, or one of the Ryans or Joshes of Hollywood, etc. - it would be like Sahara or one of those forgettable, made-for-Netflix type things (usually starring Jason Statham). Fine, whatever.

But there was nothing very "Indiana Jones" about it. I don't think that character works out of that 30's/40's timeline. I just don't. And I assume this new one will be set even later than the 2008 outing, so that's just going to be jarring to me. The only thing giving me any hope/interest is assuming that everyone involved knew the ...Crystal Skull entry came up a bit short, and they're genuinely interested in righting that somehow (a Mandalorian type of thing to the SW sequels, as you mentioned).

But still...

A near-octogenarian protagonist, and set in the 1960's(?), just doesn't really scream "Indiana Jones" to me. The fact that everything - everything - I'm reading online about it, even from legit, professional writers in various trade sites, is presented in a joking, eye-rolling tone says a lot. I think a lot (most?) people are just like "oh, come the hell on already...really?" I've yet to talk to anyone in my orbit who is looking forward to it, and, like me, they use the opportunity to make labored, unfunny walker/hemorrhoid donut/4pm dinner jokes.

I remember Ford getting injured during the filming of The Force Awakens (his leg/ankle?). It might get to where companies say "this coot is a walking accident form...we're not going to throw in because he'll probably break his neck leaving the wardrobe trailer".

[kscherer]

It's too bad, too. I know that the end of Crystal Skull it was pretty clear that they were trying to set Shia Labarf up as the inheritor of the name (Indy's hat landing at his feet), but the way it's all staging out just feels wrong (mostly because Shia Labeuf kind of blew it in Hollywood). Still, I think it could work if Indiana Jones plays a roll more similar to what Sean Connery plaid in The Last Crusade, you know, the "old dad" supporting character. Who knows. Maybe the writers have dreamed up another kid (daughter this time?) from some other failed relationship and Indy gets to mentor her as she goes off on some crazy adventure.

And maybe he named her Indiana Anna!

And so it can be Indiana Anna Jones and the Next To Last Crusade.

[Ryan]

Has anyone else watched Bo Burnham's Inside on Netflix? I'm honestly fascinated by someone recording a comedy special, over the course of a year, in a single room, entirely by himself. No crew, just a guy in a room with a MacBook Pro, some lighting, a few musical instruments and DSLR. And still managing to hit excellent production quality.

IMO a fantastic satire of internet culture, brands trying to be People and this past year from hell. Welcome to the Internet may as well be the Twitter theme song.

[Frank777]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 Nicolas Cage in one of his...

Did you see the trailer for the new Nic Cage movie I posted above? Who else could pull off something like that?

The thing about Ford is that he seems to want to kill off all his best characters. Not sure what that's about.
It's not like anyone was going to recast Han Solo or Indiana Jones while he was still alive. (Reboot, sure. Recast, no.)

Originally Posted by kscherer Maybe the writers have dreamed up another kid (daughter this time?) from some other failed relationship and Indy gets to mentor her as she goes off on some crazy adventure.

Isn't this what happened to Bruce Willis in the Die Hard series?
The last couple sequels have been about his never-before-mentioned kids?

[tomoe]

Originally Posted by Ryan Has anyone else watched Bo Burnham's Inside on Netflix? I'm honestly fascinated by someone recording a comedy special, over the course of a year, in a single room, entirely by himself. No crew, just a guy in a room with a MacBook Pro, some lighting, a few musical instruments and DSLR. And still managing to hit excellent production quality. IMO a fantastic satire of internet culture, brands trying to be People and this past year from hell. Welcome to the Internet may as well be the Twitter theme song.

I haven't yet but it is on my watch list! Have had a few friends recommend it!

[drewprops]

I've heard a lot of people mention the Bo Burnham special but I didn't know what the theme/premise was until now. What's weird is that while I am a devotee of comedy, I have never sought out standup. I think part of it is not having cable television in the 80s, when standup began moving from record albums to video specials. Maybe I just missed a crucial window of social development? There have been a couple of standup specials on Netflix that I did not make it through. I'm really picky, and now that I think about it maybe I feel like the length of a set for an appearance on Carson is all I'm willing to give a comedian. Give me your best, hit me with it in five minutes, and go sit on the couch (if you're lucky).


...

[psmith2.0]

Same. I can’t get standup comedy. And it may have something to do with spending so much of my teens and 20’s watching hacks with their rolled up blazer sleeves standing in front of brick walls on cable TV talking about air travel, relationships and doing tired Nicholson impressions.

And I watch this newer bunch on Netflix and YouTube and I keep waiting for the genuine laughs. Even people I used to think were funny, I don’t anymore. The Internet - YouTube, blogs, podcasts, etc. - have overanalyzed the medium/form to where I feel like I’m supposed to be sitting there with a clipboard, making sure I laugh, or don’t laugh, at this or that.

Fuck that. Funny is funny, and this current cultural climate seems hell-bent on driving the final nail, after everyone else has eggheaded the thing to death.

Comedy just ain’t funny. Some simply won’t let it be, while others have “deconstructed” it to pieces to where it feels like I’m sitting in a university lecture all.

Anytime people over-analyze/intellectualize anything, and strip it of “just because”, I tend to check out. You know, knuckle-dragger and all that I am.

[psmith2.0]

Back to movies real quick (since I didn't see a thread for "silly dreams" and the following, I suppose, fits)...

Last night I dreamed about Darth Vader (see?), but he was just a torso lying in the floor (torso and head, unhelmeted, no arms or legs) and berating an Imperial officer. Again, that's happened plenty in movies.

But here's the kick: he had the voice and mannerisms of that little football head baby in that Family Guy cartoon (the British accent, the bitchy sarcasm, etc.). I woke up giggling, so something about it must've amused me. It wasn't animated, it was just a live torso-only Vader talking like that baby.

"Ohhhh, I wasn't on the floor you'd get a proper thrashing...".

No idea how those two things came together. I've not watched anything SW-related in months, and the handful of Family Guy episodes I've seen were years ago (as in 2010-ish).



Dreams are so weird sometimes.

[kscherer]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 You know, knuckle-dragger and all that I am.

One good thing about getting old, Paul: We've been around long enough to know who the hell we are!

By the way, have you seen my rock? I need to build a hole.

And speaking of getting old:

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 Back to movies real quick (since I didn't see a thread for "silly dreams" and the following, I suppose, fits)... Last night I dreamed about Darth Vader (see?), but he was just a torso lying in the floor (torso and head, unhelmeted, no arms or legs) and berating an Imperial officer. Again, that's happened plenty in movies. But here's the kick: he had the voice and mannerisms of that little football head baby in that Family Guy cartoon (the British accent, the bitchy sarcasm, etc.). I woke up giggling, so something about it must've amused me. It wasn't animated, it was just a live torso-only Vader talking like that baby. "Ohhhh, I wasn't on the floor you'd get a proper thrashing...". No idea how those two things came together. I've not watched anything SW-related in months, and the handful of Family Guy episodes I've seen were years ago (as in 2010-ish). Dreams are so weird sometimes.

Dude, you'd better lay off the late-night pepper sauce!

[709]

[drewprops]

This past week I have been watching the Fast & Furious franchise.

I have studiously avoided it for years but decided to bite the bullet.

These movies are utter garbage, but they're FUN garbage in the way that only summer movies can be.

Fast cars, hot women, wooden acting, ridiculous plots, insane driving.

NPR has a piece about it called 'Fast & Furious' Owner's Manual: A Guide As The Best Worst Franchise Turns 20 that really nails what's fun about the entire franchise.

If you're looking to break your routine, I recommend this shit.



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