[ShadowOfGed]

So today, I just went through what probably ranks as one of the five worst experiences of my life. I'm pretty much a basket case; I really don't know how to deal with it.



I'm sure a lot of people here have—over the years—had various pets put to sleep. Well, today was my first. So for some reason unknown to me, I'm coming here to post my story. It's been a really rough day.

Our dog has been rickety for the past few months, to say the least. He slowly started refusing to eat various foods, only opting for something new and different pretty much every day. His liver began to fail, so it was inevitable that he would expire in the foreseeable future. Apparently the loss of appetite we saw is also characteristic of liver failure. Anyway, we've been feeding him and helping him all along; poor thing, his mind wasn't ready to give out at the same time his body was.

Arthritis caught up with him, as he labored about the house; stairs were a particularly difficult chore. The amazing part was, though, that if you took him out on a walk, he would chase you down the street like he was a puppy again. His body grew older, but I swear his heart never did. Well, this afternoon, it became obvious that he his mind had finally caught up with his body; both halves were tired now, and in search of peace. Took us ten minutes to find him after he crawled into a corner, presumably intending not to be found.

So anyway, the vet promised that the process was quiet and peaceful, as is usual. We agreed to stay with him through the procedure; wondering how it went later on would surely be worse than seeing it first-hand. Unfortunately, this is where something goes wrong. For about 10 seconds after being injected, he whelped and struggled in my mom's arms. The sound itself is going to haunt me for a long time, and the scene just as much. It was clear at home that his mind and his body were finally ready to be laid to rest. But the sound we heard... was it pain? Was it a cry for mercy? Of love? What was it?



In hindsight, we think it may have just been some oddity related to the chemical imbalances in his blood stream due to his liver failure, but what would have just been a peaceful procedure for most cases now leaves me wondering if we did the right thing. It seemed so clear, but those last few seconds cast a shadow of doubt on our decision. I hope—for all that is right in this world—that we did the best thing for him. He lived nearly 13 years, a long life for most dogs; it was a good one, too.



Logic says we did the right thing. His actions spoke volumes this afternoon. We (being my family and I) miss him dearly. The doubt, though, is killing me. Which is what brings me to the point of this thread:

What have your experiences been with putting down a pet, for whatever reason? Have you ever gone through these kinds of doubts? If so, how do you cope, justify, or rationalize it in the end?

Mostly, I'm just looking to verify that I'm not insane, and that we didn't do something inhumane or inappropriate. It really seemed like the right decision, but doubt (as I said above) is eating me alive. Especially after the comments I made in this thread.



Thanks for any responses.

[scratt]

Dude... You have my sympathy. Really.

I put down my pet labarador when I was 18..
We had grown up together....
That's over 18 years ago now...
And I still could not write about it now.
Too damn painful.

[shatteringglass]

I truly think you made the right decision. I can't imagine how difficult the decision was, or how hard it must be for you to go through it right now.

But, it just seemed like it was just his time. 13 years is a long time. And like you said, he had a good life.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Moogs]

I'm am really sorry to here this news, Ged.

I had a traumatic couple of days with our dog summer before last. It was horrible because she was old but had a very sudden onset of symptoms one night and by the next morning had fallen off the bed, couldn't stand up, was seizing uncontrollably, etc. Watching her suffer was too much to take. Reminded me of some very bad times in my life, not to mention you just don't want to see this little creature that you love so much suffer like that.

We took her in and watched her go as the doctor put her to rest. She didn't yelp thankfully (that would've ripped my heart completely out), but it was so damn hard... so tough. My better half and I cried at different times for the better part of a week. Every single thing in the house reminded me of her in some way. It was just torture for a while.

I still get sad thinking about it, but thankfully I have two new little maniacs running around the house, keeping us on our toes. New dogs never make the old loss any less painful to think about but it does bring some degree of healing I think. Cycle of life and all that.

Anyway, feel free to vent all you want. We're here for ya, bud! When my thing happened, Murbot, Windswept and several others were really supportive and helped me keep my composure a bit / keep perspective. Otherwise I would've been twice as miserable. So in reality this is a great place to tell your story. Just sorry it has to be "one of those" stories. We've all had one or more like them but that doesn't make it the least bit easier when it happens to you.

-Moogs

[torifile]

That sucks, Ged. I still can't write about my cat, Pele, without getting torn up.

I posted this a while ago:

Putting my cat, Pele, to sleep was the absolute hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life. She was no longer herself. By the end of her last night, she was no longer responsive to milk rings, didn't stir when her name was said and looked like she was in a lot of pain. There were times during that awful night that I thought she was still *there* and I hoped she would come out of it. It didn't happen. I'm still really sad when I think about her. She was the best cat ever. In the end, I think we made the right decision. But it was hard. The right decision often is.

That's her.

[ShadowOfGed]

Thanks a bunch, guys. I really appreciate the support.



I suppose it just takes a bit of getting used to... you know, trying to realize that this is a normal thing. One of those unfortunately inevitable facts of life, I guess.

[InactionMan]

Sorry man, putting down your dog is the worst. I've gone through it a couple of times in the past couple of years.

[ShadowOfGed]

Originally Posted by torifile

Nice cat.

[Moogs]

Yah, it really is (InactionMan). There's something about the experience... it's worse than just losing the pet to natural causes, because you have to make the decision while they're still alive, looking at you in many cases with those eyes.

And you don't really know what they're seeing or hearing or feeling... you relate back to all the times when the dog (or cat) had these almost human reactions to different things during their life... and there's no help. If only every dog or cat were allowed to speak a few words at the end to let you know it's OK... Sucks...

[Foj]

i had a siamese cat that we had to put down becuase of liver problems several years ago. he was a cool cat.

[Banana]

I used to have two dogs; one died when I was too young, but another, I still miss her.

She was odd dog, but she was a treat to have around. I used to go walks with her all times and was nice to just to have someone tag along.

She died while I was away and it really bothered me; just not being there when she was sick made me felt a tad bad, even though it was out of my hand.

Here's to all pets; they always make our life better.

[ShadowOfGed]

Originally Posted by Banana Here's to all pets; they always make our life better.

Hear, hear!

[709]

That had to have been a horrible experience. My heart goes out to you, man.

It took me a loooong time after 7 was taken prematurely to even consider having another pet. Over a decade in fact. Hell, my SO recently discovered the box I had in storage with his collar and tag...and it brought me to tears. I can't imagine what it would be like to be there while the vet put him down, but I'm positive he was glad you were there.

Take comfort in the fact that he lived to a ripe old age, and in knowing that you gave him as much pleasure as he gave you.

[GSpotter]

You're not alone. As I already have written in this thread, we had to put our dog to sleep a few years ago. Thankfully, he just went to sleep without yelps or something similar. The most disturbing thing was that his eyes stayed open and he stayed looking alive. I'm still getting watery eyes when writing this...
(Here is an older picture of him.)

[BlueRabbit]

That sounds horrible.

My dog, who was about as old, died about a year ago. Fortunately we didn't have to put her down, though - she ended up dying on her own.

[crazychester]

It's a fine and courageous thing to take grief and loss on yourself because you know it's best for something or someone you care about.

I wouldn't dwell too much on the yelping thing. Some strange things can happen when a living creature is near to death and one shouldn't necessarily read the same things things into such signs as at other times.

[Kickaha]

The timing of this thread is ironic.

My cat was just (30 min ago) initially diagnosed with bone cancer, waiting for biopsy results in a few days to confirm.

Fuck.

[kieran]

My girlfriend's cat just had to be put down because he had throat cancer. I had only known the cat for a few years but it was still painful to know that he had to go. The cat, Mr. Tuxedo (he was black and white) was 14, but he still acted as if he was a kitten, he was pulling on the ribbons of all the christmas presents less than a week before he got sick.

WHy do we get so attached to pets? They're almost human and are always there for us when we need them. It's just painful to let them go, but it's all for the best.

Sorry about all of your losses. I have a three year old Vizsla, Callie, and I can't even imagine not having her around.

My Dog: http://community.webshots.com/photo/...1798343JdirHU#

[dviant]

Sorry to hear you lost your pal, it's like losing a family member.

My father-in-law is fond of imparting wisdom on his family (often without request hehe) and sometimes says things that really stick with me. We went through a tough time last year with our 10 year old cat and finally lost him to heart problems. He was sympathizing with us and was remembering how hard it was when they had lost a couple family dogs when he said...

"Pets are born to break your heart. All you can do is appreciate what little time they can give to you, and you to them."

So true.

[T-Man]

My cat, Whiskers, had to get put to sleep nearly 5 years ago, and I was young. So was he; and sick. But I feel like a part of it was my fault, because we got another cat from a friend, and since I was young I just went to the new cat and left Whiskers. After that he didnt stay on my bed nor sleep with anymore and rarely played with me anymore. I ignored him, I left him. I dont care if I was young, I wish I realized that. I left him and he later died. I was an asshole. There is no face to show how I felt or how I feel typing this right now.

My sympathy is also with you, ShadowofGed, and to everyone else. And Dr. Kickaha, I really hope your cat will be ok.

[GSpotter]

This morning, we had to put down Rocky, our dachshund mix after having him for about 11.5 years...

He had a heart problem and got some medicine for some time now. One week ago, he was diagnosed to have water in his lungs, but recent days were mostly quite ok. I was walking him yesterday evening and everything seemed to be normal. This morning he was collapsing. We took him to the vet, but he had more and more problems breathing and the heart wasn't strong enough to really pump the blood through his body. We felt his paws getting colder ...

He went to sleep peacefully, but damn it hurts when you have to look into those eyes, knowing that his heart will stop in a few minutes ...

[crazychester]

I'm so, so sorry.

Yesterday I found out my 14.5 year old maltese/bichon frise X probably has Cushing's disease. It's treatable but I've watched living getting slowly harder and harder for him.

About 4 years ago he had a herniated disc in his cervical spine. He was completely paralysed. The vet told me to expect the worst and that I might have to make the big decision. But he came good with steroid shots eventually. The vet said he was a miracle dog.

But I imagined putting him to sleep exactly as you describe.

Your post breaks my heart.

Best advice I've been given was get another dog sooner rather than later. You might feel like you're being disloyal or not respecting Rocky's memory enough. But you gave him a good life and he went peacefully.

My most heartfelt commiserations.

[Yontsey]

I'm sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful dog. He's in a much better place now with no pain.

[709]

Rocky was such an integral part of your photos years and years ago when we first started the Photo thread - I can't help but feel like we all knew him a little bit.... his playful snow photos were the best ever.

Sad times. I know the feel, and you have my heart. Also my best thoughts for you and whomever else Rocky was important to. I'm sure there are many.

[thegeriatric]

Took our dog to the vets several times a few months before Christmas, each time we went we told our 2 daughters, he may not be coming back with us to try and prepare them for the worst. Being fairly young at the time we knew it would be hard for them to loose a pet they had grown up with.

On the final visit around 2 weeks before Christmas, the vet told us I can probably keep him around till Christmas.

Seeing as we knew he was suffering, the vet agreed to have him put to sleep was the kindest thing we could do. My wife stayed with him whilst the vet did the injection.

Seeing my 2 daughters peering out the window as the car pulled onto the drive, I knew this was going to be one of the hardest things I had ever had to deal with. Even today 25-30 years later, I still remember the look on there faces and that Christmas without him.

[GSpotter]

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts!

For me it is the first time since 19 years without a dog and my wife was only for one or two years in her whole life without some pets. so we felt rather quickly that we needed another dog. Then we started looking again for a dog from an animal shelter or similar.

We just found a group of people from a nearby town which have a connection to a hungarian animal shelter. On their home page we found a dog we instantly felt in love with. And today, we got the confirmation on our reservation - we'll have another dog in three weeks (after quarantine, chipping etc.)
So be prepared to see some new dog photos in my photo stream then. (It will probably be photographically more challenging: Robin is a pitch black dachshund mix...)

[Mac+]

GSpotter - so sorry for your loss. I just had a look at your photos. Rocky was adorable.

We never had pets growing up, but, funnily enough, once we all left home my Mum added Millie to the household - a miniature long haired daschund... looked similar to Rocky, but golden brown in colour.

She was the best thing for Mum (and Dad) but she had to be put down in 2008. I was living away from home at the time - but it still hurt. Hurt my Mum even more.

I'm glad you and your wife have Robin to join you now. Here's to more years of happiness and fun.

[Dorian Gray]

I showed your Flickr photos of Rocky to my girlfriend a year or two ago. (She loves dogs.) He was a handsome thing, and I’m sorry to hear he’s gone.

Looking forward to your photos of Robin, though!

[Moogs]

Sorry G. That is always rough sailing. My dogs are hitting 10 this year and thoughts start creeping in you know... sucks just thinking about it. More attached to these two than any prior as I rescued them as pups. Gotta enjoy life I guess. Maybe I'll get lucky and the asteroid will hit and we'll all go together in a vaporous asplosion. Otherwise I'm going to be a train wreck when the day comes.

[murbot]

Damn man, so sorry to hear that. I loved seeing the awesome pics of that little guy. I always have the same image of him in my head - him flying over the snow with a big grin. It gets easier man, but it takes a long time. If I'm in a certain mood and having a few drinks, I'll still tear up over my Rottie Sarah, and that was over 10 years ago. A close friend had to put his pooch down a couple weeks ago too, I've known him for 14 years and never seen him cry, but he was sobbing like a baby that night. One of those super hard things you just have to do.

Chin up buddy, looks like you gave him the best life he could have had, and that's all you can do.

*hug*