[Wrao]

(I don't remember there being one already, I searched and didn't find one, if there is already one, well, then this is the sequel

So, you know the drill.


Chapter 1

Steve jobs was walking to work one morning, when he was stopped by a...

[murbot]

sharp pain in his pancreas. The pain was intense, yet left him strangely aroused. He immediately took out his cell phone and dialed...

[Wickers]

911. However, just as he was punching in the second 1. . . his wife, gave him a swift jab in the gut, which quelled the pain, so he jumped up and headed for the. . .

[alcimedes]

strip club, which was where he was headed already, and why his wife had hit him.

little did he know, he'd run into....

[Mac+]

Phil Schiller, who proceeded to wax lyrical about just how amazing this strip club was going to be and, btw, how excited he was about the new Super Enhanced version of the upcoming OS X (S.E.X. for short) with the new ...

[thegelding]

"throbo-vision" 3-D effects and 3rd party addition of the "spanko-sensation" chair. Knowing that the geeks and techofiles across the globe would go absolutely nuts over these features, SJ gently rubbed....

[trailmaster308]

...his pet midget that he keeps chained to him at all times except during keynotes. After gently stroking his little friend, Steve dropped to his knees, looked up at the sky and yelled.....

[billybobsky]

"HOOOAHHHH!," which he is prone to do from time to time. Of course he realized that the ahh was off so he consulted with Phil, who concurred and began to recount the last time steve....

[Messiahtosh]

choked a bitch...

[thegelding]

...(cough, phil cleared his throat), i mean the last time you choked down a bitchin' vegamite sandwich, which led to a wild medley of Men At Work songs, steve's pet midget singing all the chorus parts in full "inuit throat singing"voice. This led to peels of laughter, until suddenly...

[Messiahtosh]

Phil started masturbating wildly...

[thegelding]

at which point steve passed out and had an out of body experience...floating above his body, steve saw his familiar black turtleneck form which was having night terrors and screaming "cobras, Cobras" over and over in a homer simpson's voice...floating above his body he suddenly was perched in front of a new iMac G5 and was surfing the web using a special build of safari 3.37 (a special build that allows posting from specters and disembodied psyches)...as he read the applenova forums (as he does each day), he posted a reply to a story thread that said: "Messiahtosh, please put alittle more thought and imagination into your posts"...and then "boom" steve awoke in the hospital having just had surgery on his pancreas...the hit from his wife having inflamed his tumor...all was going well until

[Wickers]

. . . he saw the medical bill. Which was to the tune of fiftythousand dallars Canadian. So Steve reached into his pocket to procure some American change just as. . .

[Quagmire]

...Bill Gates just walked in. He said to Jobs if he was ok. Jobs said he was ok. But, then Jobs once again passed out and being the evil little devil Gates is he stole Jobs new 4g ipod. Then Ives walked in and...

[billybobsky]

the nurse pointed to the sign above the triage that said...

[Luca]

"That's weird," said Steve. "Why would you have a sign that doesn't say anything?"

Just as the nurse was about to explain it, Batman leapt into the room and...

[billybobsky]

yelled "Ives is batman" to which the studio audience stood with a rousing ovation of cheers. Ives, blushing, said....

[Quagmire]

..." I was trying to save Job's ipod from being stolen by Gates which I would presume copy it and sell it for cheap." Gates came out of his hiding place and...

[windowsblowsass]

ripped out a machine gun and "went rambo on his a$$" mortaly wounding ives he then ran out into the street yelling...

[FFL]

.."Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers!!!" at which point he got on his cell phone and called Steve Ballmer to ask him....

[Wrao]

...if he was still on for the 6 PM jazzercise work-out special at the local...

[Moogs]

Tofu emporium. Without hesitation Ballmer replied...

[Wrao]

..."clap your hands every-body, if you've got what it takes, 'cuz I'm Kurtis Blow, and I want you to know that theeese are the breaks"....

[Moogs]

...then suddenly Gates was informed that Apple's famed "Phobos Server Farm" had gone down due to a...

[FFL]

... stunning display of hacking ability by Real Media's Rob Glaser, who announced as his demands...

[Moogs]

...that Apple's crack Commando Team either return his collection of women's underwear immediately or else he'd...

[Mac+]

reverse engineer "more than the code" the next time he came up behind Jon Rubinstein and the team in the iPod division. Additionally he also demanded ...

[kafelatte]

50,000 shares of Apple stock, and his own celebrity iMix. Unfortunately, just as the words left his lips...

[Quagmire]

...he got a very deadly diesease that killed him instantly. Reals CEO was in a big panic knowing Jobs got madder about the ipod/ real conflict because Jobs learned Gates and Real were planning to make the very first mp3 player virus. The virus would download when you bought reals music and downloaded the song to the ipod. Jobs got his...

[Wickers]

50 cal. rifle and shot a slug into Gate's right lung from behind, dropping him to the floor. . . But the bullet did not stop, after leaving his now helpless body, it lodged into a small child. The child was killed but that's not as bad as what happened to. . .