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"Star Wars: The Clone Wars"...meesa smell a flop


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"Star Wars: The Clone Wars"...meesa smell a flop
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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2008-08-15, 17:57

Has anyone come across a positive, glowing review by chance? I'm at around 16 or so for the day (mostly newspapers, but a few film/entertainment sites as well), the best being a mid-range, low-key "meh".



Not one rave (or even mildly upbeat, positive one) in the bunch.

Anyone?
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curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2008-08-15, 18:21

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
If they dangle a big enough paycheck (or whatever Harrison Ford is big on), he'd do it. He's getting old enough to hit that "I don't give a shit...what are they gonna do to me?" stage that old men eventually reach (it's why everyone's grandpa rips sound barrier-breaking farts in quiet restaurants or tells "a blonde with huge titties and two midgets walk into a bar..." jokes in church). They've put in their 65, 75 or 85 years...they just don't give a rip anymore. You can't fire them, you can't disown them, goodness knows you can't embarrass or shame them, etc.

They could get Ernest Borgnine.
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709
¡Damned!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
 
2008-08-15, 22:30

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
I know they're his movies and he's got the right to make them look the way he wants, but every time he gets his digital paintbrush out to "improve" the original trilogy he just takes something away (or, worse, adds something that doesn't need to be or that helps).


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Jason
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Join Date: Oct 2004
 
2008-08-15, 22:37

Quote:
Originally Posted by 709 View Post


SupaLOL™
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Link4000z
 
 
2008-08-16, 01:17

Alright, are you guys ready for this... I'm going to blow your minds.

I went to the midnight showing. THE MOVIE WAS GOOD.

Now... let me give my reasons. First let me state this:

Is the movie more kid-oriented- yes.
Is there really a farting baby Hutt- yes.
Is everything mentioned in the bad reviews there- mostly... but...

Honestly, I went into the theater not knowing what to expect. I've been a fan since the original trilogy was rereleased. I was about seven then. So when Episode I came out I could enjoy it not seeing the flaws that the real-long time fans had seen. Now, as I am older, I do see them, but I can still enjoy the movie. As the original prequel trilogy went on it was becoming clearer and clearer why people hated those movies. So when I went into the Clone Wars theater I came in expecting crap.

The first few minutes had me skeptical. It was different. Yet, then I began to notice the animation- which is very well done, it's just done in a way not seen before. Then, while my mind was running all these negative thoughts through my head I told myself to shut up and just enjoy it. And I did. I began to notice things. The fight scenes are incredible. They are brilliant to watch. Not only that, but they're also nonstop. The movie is, literally, almost nonstop action.

Soon into the movie the new character was introduced who becomes Anakins new padawan. I was also skeptical about this because she had never been mentioned before. Her dialouge with Anakin was a bit cheesy but she slowly grew on me. There is chemistry between her and Anakin and you can see it even through some of the cheesy dialouge.

So, in the end when the credits were rolling, those around me got up and left. A lot looked disapointed. One of my friends had his hands up in the air with a, "Wtf was that?" look on his face. Yet, I was amazed. I even shocked myself when I realized I enjoyed that more then I did Episode I and II.

So...

-Good CGI.
-Good chemistry.
-Great fight scenes.

Bad:
-A bit cheesy, but enjoyable.
-Nothing is retconned from the originals, yet there are some questionable things such as Anakin's mysterious padawan.

Though it is different, remember that it is aimed for children but adults can enjoy it too. You don't have to listen to my opinion, but don't go into the theater with the thought that your money has been wasted. Go into it expecting to see an animated, war movie. You won't be dissappointed. Sorry for the sloppy review, I'm a bit rushed lol.
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PB PM
Sneaky Punk
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
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2008-08-16, 01:23

Some spoiler warnings would be nice...
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Link4000z
 
 
2008-08-16, 02:00

If you're reffering to Anakin's padawan, that shouldn't be a spoiler. If you read any synopsis on the movie it clearly states he has a new apprentice.
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FFL
Fishhead Family Reunited
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Slightly Off Center
 
2008-08-16, 02:11

Quote:
Originally Posted by Link4000z View Post
So...

-Good CGI.
Aaaand the Oscar for "Best Use Of CGI In An Animated Film" goes to......

George Lucas!
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Luca
ಠ_ರೃ
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
 
2008-08-16, 02:19

The best thing about this movie is that it'll be a huge flop and finally, for once, demonstrate to Lucas that he can't just shit out movies and expect everyone to go see them.
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PB PM
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2008-08-16, 02:25

Quote:
Originally Posted by Link4000z View Post
If you're reffering to Anakin's padawan, that shouldn't be a spoiler. If you read any synopsis on the movie it clearly states he has a new apprentice.
And if you haven't?
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Yonzie
Mac Mini Maniac
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
 
2008-08-16, 06:22

Quote:
Originally Posted by Link4000z View Post
I went to the midnight showing. THE MOVIE WAS GOOD.
... and you just registered today for the sole purpose of telling us to go see the movie anyway. And you're not paid by Lucasarts or 20th Century Fox or something. Right.

Converted 07/2005.
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Mugge
Thunderbolt, fuck yeah!
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Denmark
 
2008-08-16, 07:00

Watch it there Yonzie, Star Wars fans can be sensitive folks.

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curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2008-08-16, 07:25

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mugge View Post
Watch it there Yonzie, Star Wars fans Kid can be sensitive folks.

T, FTFY
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2008-08-16, 08:07

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yonzie View Post
... and you just registered today for the sole purpose of telling us to go see the movie anyway. And you're not paid by Lucasarts or 20th Century Fox or something. Right.
Seriously... get bent, new guy. You're wrong.

Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousuburb View Post
They could get Ernest Borgnine.
Mace Wackadoo

Quote:
Originally Posted by 709 View Post

Truer words have not been drawn on a cartoon.
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Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
 
2008-08-16, 08:30

Quote:
Originally Posted by Link4000z View Post
Yet, then I began to notice the animation- which is very well done, it's just done in a way not seen before.
Ew. No. Sorry.

I hate the animation. Everything just looks so lifeless (which, given we're talking about animation, means it fails).

It looks...well, like a TV show.

That's not a good thing. I hold feature films to a higher standard, and this looks like fucking ReBoot.

It's a huge step back from (wait for it) Wall-E, which looked like it was actually shot with cameras. This is just...bad.

Genndy Tartakovsky: I loved your work on Dexter's Lab and Samurai Jack, but stay the fuck away from CGI.

(It's not the simpler character designs I hate - again, I can dig those. But everything just looks so damn...dead.)

It's lifeless, amateur, through-the-motions animation at its worst, and I can not stand to see another second of it.

and i guess i've known it all along / the truth is, you have to be soft to be strong
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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2008-08-16, 09:10

Quote:
Originally Posted by PB PM View Post
Some spoiler warnings would be nice...


Every trailer being shown has this girl in it. One of them even says "your new apprentice" or something like that (making it clear what/who she is, and what she's doing in this thing). I don't think this was meant to be a big surprise or secret...she's in all the marketing. She's on the poster!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Roboman View Post
I hate the animation. Everything just looks so lifeless (which, given we're talking about animation, means it fails).

It looks...well, like a TV show.
One of the reviews I read talks about this. Apparently this movie was made for relatively cheap because lots of cloning (no pun) and looped movements. Also, most of the "cast" are mechanical or helmeted, so no time needed on facial movements, eyes, mouths and expressions (which is probably why so many reviews are talking about how odd and lifeless Anakin, Obi-Wan and Dooku look).

As for "TV show", that's where it's heading and this theatrical release is considered the pilot. So think about it: it was probably shot/filmed for TV (with all the limitations or "we can fudge this here because its on TV" elements, yet blown back up to be on a big movie screen). I've read two reviews that talk about this aspect on a more technical, "it looks a bit cheap and stilted, and here's why..." level.

It's basically three ~30-minute episodes welded together into a ~90-minute movie.

Supposedly it'll "play better" on TV...visually, anyway. I assume it'll still have the snappy Hannah Montana dialogue and interplay...those young, sassy Jedi chicks are, like, totally cool! Girl power rocks! Now I'm gonna do a song...

"Artooooo, I gave my heart to you..."



Quote:
Originally Posted by Roboman View Post
That's not a good thing. I hold feature films to a higher standard, and this looks like fucking ReBoot.
It's kinda supposed to. See above.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roboman View Post
Genndy Tartakovsky: I loved your work on Dexter's Lab and Samurai Jack, but stay the fuck away from CGI.
He has.

He has nothing to do with this. Tartakovsky was behind the cartoon-style animated Clone Wars series from a few years ago, but this new one is Dave Filoni who was the director of those "Avatar: The Last Airbender" things.

This is a completely new take on an already done-to-death tale (because I find myself lying awake at night and thinking "I've not seen enough Clone Wars...a feature film and a 25-episode/three-season animated series just wasn't enough. I need to see it all again, only this time with iffy CG animation and really cheeseball writing and dialogue! Because, goodness knows, there are no other interesting stories or angles from the 'Star Wars' universe to pursue. Just the Clone Wars...".

I eagerly await the live-action weekly serial "The Clone Files Investigators", the ABC Friday night sitcom "He's My Clone!", the romantic/hospital drama "Clone Wars Anatomy" and the unscripted competition installment "Who Wants to Be a Clone Warrior?" on NBC. Oh, and MTV's "Yeah, It's Like That: I'm a Jedi and This is How We Roll".



It's gonna be cool!

Last edited by psmith2.0 : 2008-08-16 at 10:01.
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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2008-08-16, 10:19

Ouch! The Rotten Tomatoes round-up...

And Roger Ebert's review. One-and-a-half stars.

Quote:
Has it come to this? Has the magical impact of George Lucas' original vision of "Star Wars" been reduced to the level of Saturday morning animation? "Star Wars: The Clone Wars," which is a continuation of an earlier animated TV series, is basically just a 98-minute trailer for the autumn launch of a new series on the Cartoon Network.

The familiar "Star Wars" logo and the pulse-pounding John Williams score now lift the curtain on a deadening film that cuts corners on its animation and slumbers through a plot that (a) makes us feel like we've seen it all before, and (b) makes us wish we hadn't.

...

The characters have hair that looks molded from Play-Doh, bodies that seem arthritic, and moving lips on half-frozen faces -- all signs that shortcuts were taken in the animation work.

...

The battle scenes are interminable, especially once we realize that although the air is filled with bullets, shells and explosive rockets, no one we like is going to be killed. The two armies attack each other, for some reason, only on a wide street in a towering city. First one army advances, then the other. Why not a more fluid battle plan? To save money on backgrounds, I assume.

...

I'm probably wrong, but I don't think anyone in this movie ever refers to The Force.
(bolding above is mine)

BTW, looking through the IMDB actor/voice credits, it appears Jar Jar Binks is nowhere to be found. Funny how he went from "the big main new character" in "Episode I" to a few lines of dialogue in "Episode II" to only a fleeting glimpse in "Episode III" to...no mention/use whatsoever in this new release.



You just know, back in 1997-1998, during ramping-up and production of "Episode I", Lucas had visions of Jar Jar being a new Artoo or Yoda...a beloved "anchor" character for a new generation of "Star Wars" viewers and fans.

When everyone lost their minds at the ridiculous character (and he became an instant punchline or code-word for all that is wrong and goofy with Lucas), I'm sure that was a huge blow/stun to George.

$5 says had he not been so hated in "Episode I", he would've figured much larger in the two other installments (a major, pivotal role and heroics), and would most certainly be in this latest movie.

It's like they just forgot about him, and are pretending he never existed.



"Meesa had a bombaaaaaad dream that I was no more in dese movies! Oh nooooo...Isa been deep-sixed...causing muy muy embarrassment to Missa Lucas!"

I remember that awful feeling inside my chest and tummy, about 25 minutes into "Episode I" on the midnight viewing in 1999...



"Oh, man...this...does this get any better? I guess I've got another 90 minutes...to find out."

I remember driving home at 2:30am, just staring out my windshield and feeling genuinely stunned and empty.



"Wow...I, um...hmmm. That was...holy smokes, that was pretty weak...that kid, Jar Jar, the do-nothing Darth Maul, that kid..."

Last edited by psmith2.0 : 2008-08-16 at 10:42.
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curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2008-08-16, 10:25

And at least ReBoot had some clever nerd jokes and puns.
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Jason
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
 
2008-08-16, 10:44

To be honest, I don't really know why people are so surprised at this new level of suckage. I mean, c'mon. Most fans watched 'Phantom Menace' and knew the writing was on the wall even back then

One thing that always mystifies me with Lucas is why the hell didn't he go on to make other films either in the Sci-Fi genre or elsewhere? I guess most will say he was after more money but, he couldn't have been too short after the first three Star Wars films.

For me, it was a talent wasted - others may say he was a one-trick pony all along.

I just think he should have left the Star Wars thing alone and gone on to other things.

Did someone say Howard The Duck?
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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2008-08-16, 10:54

There's your answer.

You know? I'm kinda surprised, in a way, that he hasn't gone back to "improve and enhance" his awesome "American Graffiti". Yikes...



I expect, any day now, a new "Special Edition" release with boosted colors, re-done sound, etc. CGI smoke and flames coming from the back of Milner's yellow coupe, a black vest/white shirt CGI'd onto Bob Falfa (Harrison Ford's character), Suzanne Somers' white T-bird character digitally replaced by Natalie Portman, a digitally re-worked Terry the Toad (shorter and more toad-looking), the police car axle-yanking prank "enhanced" with a full end-over-end flip and shockwave explosion, the sock-hop band replaced with a modern boy band (or rapper/DJ), digitally inserted cameo from Henry Winkler and Squiggy (making the Ron Howard/Cindy Williams thing link back to Milwaukee's "Happy Days" and "Laverne & Shirley" because in Lucas' world, everyone knows each other and the world is so small), etc.



It's coming, I'm sure...brace yourselves.
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2008-08-16, 10:58

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
I eagerly await the live-action weekly serial "The Clone Files Investigators", the ABC Friday night sitcom "He's My Clone!", the romantic/hospital drama "Clone Wars Anatomy" and the unscripted competition installment "Who Wants to Be a Clone Warrior?" on NBC. Oh, and MTV's "Yeah, It's Like That: I'm a Jedi and This is How We Roll".



It's gonna be cool!

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popantique
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
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2008-08-16, 14:04

Rotten Tomatoes has a few positive reviews. Not that I read them in full, but you can look for yourself.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/clone_wars/

Of course, one of those reviews is summed up as "Actually better than expected," which still doesn't bode very well.
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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2008-08-16, 15:06

Exactly. That's in the realm of "for a turd, it really smells pretty okay" or "wow, you really don't sweat much for a fat guy".



Yeah, I linked the Rotten Tomatoes page a couple of posts up. Most of them aren't favorable at all (they have that little green "splat" symbol.
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rampancy
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2008-08-16, 20:04

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
He has nothing to do with this. Tartakovsky was behind the cartoon-style animated Clone Wars series from a few years ago, but this new one is Dave Filoni who was the director of those "Avatar: The Last Airbender" things.
To me, that alone was the reason why I was very skeptical about this movie. While I stayed away from PowerPuff Girls, Tartakovsky's work in Samurai Jack was brilliant and it shone through in the original Clone Wars series.

As for Anakin's Padawan...I'll take Starkiller (Darth Vader's "Secret Apprentice") from The Force Unleashed any day. I mean, come on, even the way he holds his lightsaber (behind his arm) is badass.

"The things that will destroy us are: politics without principle; pleasure without conscience; wealth without work; knowledge without character business without morality; science without humanity; and worship without sacrifice."
- Mahatma Gandhi
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Mugge
Thunderbolt, fuck yeah!
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Denmark
 
2008-08-17, 08:36

I was really bumed that Anakin didn't force choke Jar Jar in Episode 3.



However, since nearly all the jedis die in Episode 3, I take that this padawan is going to get killed as well. We're probably not going to see it since Episode 3 is already done, but the thought might soothe somebody.

Last edited by Mugge : 2008-08-17 at 13:22. Reason: typo
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Enki
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
 
2008-08-17, 12:38

It wasn't THAT bad. While the dialog was lacking it was better that Lucas written dialog. I saw it in a free screening though so maybe the lack of paying for a ticket helped. Also the animation is relatively good, although in a style that can be hard to handle in the Star Wars Universe first time you see it. It took seeing the trailers a good half dozen times over a couple months before I could think anything other that this will totally blow.

And the comments about nothing new aren't quite true. Who would have imagined a purple painted tranny-pimp Hutt?
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Foj
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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2008-08-17, 15:02

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enki View Post
It wasn't THAT bad.
That's kind of how I felt about it. I saw a free screening of it last Monday. I guess it being free to see and the popcorn helped.


Quote:
Who would have imagined a purple painted tranny-pimp Hutt?
That thing was the worst part of the movie for me.

A knife and a fork, a bottle and a cork, that's the way to spell New York.
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Enki
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
 
2008-08-17, 18:49

Yes. Disturbing in a way Jar-Jar never was.
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Frank777
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2009-08-28, 00:15

Saw a preview on TV that said the Clone Wars movie will be shown on Space in early September (5th, I think.)

In honour of this occasion, I point you to thoughts on the most poorly conceived parts of the Star Wars universe.
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Swox
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2009-08-28, 14:28

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frank777 View Post
Saw a preview on TV that said the Clone Wars movie will be shown on Space in early September (5th, I think.)

In honour of this occasion, I point you to thoughts on the most poorly conceived parts of the Star Wars universe.
Also: http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news...ign-empire.php
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