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Steve Jobs Successor
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alredsung
 
 
2007-03-10, 07:58

I was reading a very interesting forum on another site on this topic and wanted to get some input from here. Who does everyone forsee becoming the next Steve Jobs? A name that came up a number of times in the other forum was Scott Forrestall, can anyone tell me who he is and what he has done? So please...opinions!
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LudwigVan
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2007-03-10, 10:34

Scott Forrestall (Assistant Head of Software Development or something like that?) is the guy who helped Steve introduce Leopard last summer at WWDC. The only reason people seem to say he may be Steve's successor is because of his good (but not great, IMHO) skills on the stage. For my money, Tim Cook, current Apple COO, may well be the person to whom Steve passes the torch.

"Virtually bursting with adequatulence."
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Satchmo
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2007-03-10, 11:09

Agreed. It's one thing to be a good speaker on stage, but a promotion to CEO from Assistant Head is quite the jump.
Perhaps duties would change when Steve is gone. I've always found it a bit strange that a CEO would do product launches anyways.
Shouldn't this sort of thing should be done by Schiller, anyways?
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Buffalo
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2007-03-10, 11:35

I would like it better if Schiller were to become the next CEO. Both Phil and Scott piss me off a little bit, but Phil (IMO) is more likable that Scott. However, I think that no matter who the CEO is Phil and Scott should do presentations together to divide it into software and hardware.
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Moogs
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2007-03-10, 11:55

You guys are speaking as if Steve were mortal and aged like the rest of us.

Pff. Common!
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billybobsky
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2007-03-10, 13:11

Indeed, Steve Jobs will be the next Steve Jobs...
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sirnick4
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2007-03-10, 13:17

I think I will be the next Steve Jobs...

My vote is for Schiller.
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GladToBeHere
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2007-03-10, 14:22

Al Gore. Free rain slickers and sun screen for everyone!
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Buffalo
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2007-03-10, 14:29

Quote:
Originally Posted by GladToBeHere View Post
Al Gore. Free rain slickers and sun screen for everyone!
lol!
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hmurchison
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2007-03-10, 16:21

Scott Forrestal.

The "Pitchman" for Apple doesn't need to be the CEO. Schiller isn't the guy. He unfortunately has become a bit of the buffoon in demos and when he gave his first keynote a couple of years ago he was visibly nervous.

I've watched Forrestal do a couple of presentations and he has quick wit and appeal for younger folks. I think he's your pitch guy. I haven't seen Tim Cook publically speak yet.

Jobs' is a "one in a million" guy. He doesn't have the chops of a Woz but he has determinism and charsima that few execs have. He'll be hard to replace.

omgwtfbbq
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cosus
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2007-03-10, 16:27

I don't know if Steve Jobs could have a successor like himself. I mean if really he is responsible for such a massive amount of the apple creative insight, then to replace him would be a difficult job to do. The big question is, what happens to Apple when Steve Jobs dies?

Retired 8 years ahead of schedule.
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Banana
is the next Chiquita
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
 
2007-03-10, 16:27

Wow. I'm disappointed. It's been 8 hours and nobody saw the writing on the wall.

Think.

Who has been AWOL for a while now?

Didn't ring a bell?

Who, like Steve Jobs, shaves his balls?

That's all I'm saying.
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Bryson
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2007-03-10, 18:56

Steve Jobs will be replaced by Steve Xobs. However, Steve Xobs will be required by a load of wingey people to run a Steve Jobs Emulator. Until, of course, Steve Xobs starts running on a different kind of brain. This will cause much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Then people will have to run an unsupported programme called Stevejobsballsshaver to run Steve Jobs applications.
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TednDi
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2007-03-10, 21:27

woz!!

or Ives
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pilot1129
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2007-03-11, 13:13

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogs View Post
You guys are speaking as if Steve were mortal and aged like the rest of us.

Pff. Common!
Steve Jobs' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Steve Jobs has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Steve Jobs built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Steve met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Before each filming of televised MSNBC interview, Steve Jobs is injected with 5 times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This of course, to limit his hypnosis ability, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the pre-established market competitors he fights.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Steve Jobs punched his way out of his mothers womb. Shortly thereafter, he grew a turtleneck.

Steve Jobs sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Steve distorted reality and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Steve Jobs does not sleep. He rehearses keynotes.

Steve Jobs doesn't read books. He throws hissy fits when unauthorized biographies are written.

Steve Jobs recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Smart Water.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Steve Jobs smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

In "Way of the Dragon", Bruce Lee pulls out Steve Jobs's chest hair by the roots. Bruce Lee is dead.

Steve Jobs flew back in time using a secret technique tought to him by bruce lee. There he roundhouse kicked leonardo da vinci and stole his plans to a machine leonardo has been working on his whole life. That machine was the total gym.

Steve Jobs is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Steve Jobs's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodSteve could Steve if a woodSteve could Steve wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF STEVE JOBS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't $%&# with Steve!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Steve Jobs once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

The chief export of Steve Jobs is charisma.

Steve Jobs was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "iPod Shuffle 2.0". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Steve omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died.

If you can see Steve Jobs, he can see you. If you can't see Steve Jobs you may be only seconds away from a keynote.

Steve Jobs can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "I Pod You".

Steve Jobs lost his virginity before his dad did.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Steve Jobs.


One day Steve Jobs looked in the mirror and said "No one outstares Steve!" He is still there to this day.

Steve Jobs won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living poo out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.When Steve Jobs plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Steve Jobs is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Steve Jobs is Steve Jobs.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Steve Jobs. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Steve Jobs frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the poo out of little kids.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Steve Jobs's iLaunch product line.

When Steve Jobs's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Steve said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Steve Jobs."

Steve Jobs doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.

Steve Jobs ate a rubiks cube and pooped it out solved.


In WWII Steve Jobs once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Steve Jobs once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Steve Jobs can kill him and take it.

Those aren't credits that roll after the keynote speeches, it is actually a list of people that Steve Jobs round house kicked in the face that day.

The roundhouse kick has been proven to be more deadly than kryptonite. The Death of Superman? Yeah, that was from Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs, when clean-shaven, radiates the heat of three suns.

Steve Jobs is the only one ever in history to stare Medusa straight in the eyes and not be turned to stone. The result was Roseanne Bar.
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Oompa Loompa
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2007-03-11, 16:02

Wow, pilot1129, to be honest... that was quite a long list of things that were not really funny; especially when you consider the facts that Steve Jobs was adopted, not knowing his biological parents, and that he recently suffered from a rare form of pancreatic cancer.

I did like 'Steve Jobs once ate a rubiks cube and pooped it out solved', though.
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Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
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2007-03-11, 16:27

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oompa Loompa View Post
Wow, pilot1129, to be honest... that was quite a long list of things that were not really funny; especially when you consider the facts that Steve Jobs was adopted, not knowing his biological parents, and that he recently suffered from a rare form of pancreatic cancer.
It was a bunch of old Chuck Norris jokes, Find/Replace'd to Steve Jobs jokes.

The "how much wood could a woodSteve Steve if a woodSteve could Steve wood" one was the funniest, because it makes no sense.

and i guess i've known it all along / the truth is, you have to be soft to be strong
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Moogs
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2007-03-11, 16:28

You mean we *assume* he F&R'd the names. My bet is that he manually highlighted and replaced all of them. Because unlike Steve Jobs, who is a visionary and has recently invented iReplace (the Killer 10.5 feature we've been waiting for), Pilot has some time on his hands.

...into the light of a dark black night.
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pilot1129
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2007-03-12, 00:02

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roboman View Post
It was a bunch of old Chuck Norris jokes, Find/Replace'd to Steve Jobs jokes.

The "how much wood could a woodSteve Steve if a woodSteve could Steve wood" one was the funniest, because it makes no sense.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogs View Post
You mean we *assume* he F&R'd the names. My bet is that he manually highlighted and replaced all of them. Because unlike Steve Jobs, who is a visionary and has recently invented iReplace (the Killer 10.5 feature we've been waiting for), Pilot has some time on his hands.
actually, the first quote proves it was Find/Replace.

and yes, i was bored. gotta do something during spring break when you can't afford the cancun trip

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oompa Loompa View Post
Wow, pilot1129, to be honest... that was quite a long list of things that were not really funny; especially when you consider the facts that Steve Jobs was adopted, not knowing his biological parents, and that he recently suffered from a rare form of pancreatic cancer.
thank you debbie downer.
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Doxxic
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2007-03-12, 04:38

Jesus, if Bono isn't available.
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TednDi
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2007-03-12, 08:44

Quote:
Originally Posted by pilot1129 View Post
actually, the first quote proves it was Find/Replace.

and yes, i was bored. gotta do something during spring break when you can't afford the cancun trip



Try Acid it worked for Steve.
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bassplayinMacFiend
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2007-03-12, 08:50

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doxxic View Post
Jesus, if Bono isn't available.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
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psmith2.0
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2007-03-12, 09:12

There's no law that says things have to continue on as they are. When Steve steps down or dies, I'm sure some other person from the upper circle will rise to CEO. But keynote rollouts and big showstopping demos and unveilings simply may fade and Apple might become just like any other company (roll stuff out without dedicated, focused fanfare and showmanship).

There doesn't necessarily have to be a "Steve replacement". Just someone to steer the company. If they want to come on stage once a year at MWSF and show us new iPods, that's fine. But probably isn't a carved-in-stone requirement.

As someone upthread mentioned, Steve is a unique duck in terms of most corporate heads. Certainly more casual and plain-speaking. Probably is no outright "replacing" him, and any efforts to do so (what, bring in a thin white guy with stubble, wire rim glasses and a black turtleneck to recapture the "magic of Steve Jobs"? ), so when he's no longer around (retirement or bucket-kicking, whichever comes first), things will probably just change a bit and take on a new approach we'll come to appreciate and recognize.

Kinda makes me wonder, now that I say it: upon his death, will there be folks - like Elvis impersonators - who spring up all over, with jeans, turtlenecks and clasped hands, performing tribute acts?



"Ohmigosh, we saw this guy - Tony Matheson, Jr. - in Vegas last month. You'd swear it was Steve Jobs! Looked like him, sounded like him, same outfit, sipped little bottled waters and did the whole "woo!" and "boom!" thing. He even threw a camera into the crowd...my sister-in-law caught it! And when he did his 'one more thing' routine, there wasn't a dry eye in the place! He's at the Mirage four nights a week...you HAVE to check it out! You won't believe your eyes..."



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Banana
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Join Date: Feb 2005
 
2007-03-12, 10:21

Well, Pscates, if it did indeed happen, then Steve Jobs is doomed just as Elvis is.

Who still likes Elvis after all those impersonaters?
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dmegatool
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2007-03-12, 10:57

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
(...) But keynote rollouts and big showstopping demos and unveilings simply may fade and Apple might become just like any other company (roll stuff out without dedicated, focused fanfare and showmanship). (...)
I hope it don't. IMO, demo and unveiling should continue. It became a part of Apple.

Maybe it could be more team oriented. A little bit like MWSF with Phil and this little guy who presented Time Machine. Sure it's not Steve, but the event would be cool indeed. I found Phil funny. It's totally different from Steve but he would be good I think. The guy who presented Time Machine could become good too. I don't know if he already did some presentation but he looked in control of what he was doing. Even when the system crashed, he didn't look too nervous.

Dave Mustaine :"God created whammy bars for people who don't know how to solo."
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Messiahtosh
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2007-03-12, 13:08

The successor is probably somebody whose name we don't even know yet.
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psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
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2007-03-12, 13:19

I agree. That's often what happens.
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Oompa Loompa
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2007-03-12, 15:26

Quote:
Originally Posted by pilot1129 View Post
thank you debbie downer.
I should add to my personal posting guidelines, that I should not post when it's 'that time' of the month. My apologies, Pilot1129, Happy Pappy you.
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edwdcook
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2007-03-12, 16:24

Chances are Phil will die before Steve, Phil hardly looks in the best of shape.

It will be a shame when Steve finally does die, I wish my unborn children could experience Steve as I have.
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Banana
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Join Date: Feb 2005
 
2007-03-12, 16:33

One point:

I seriously doubt any children came to appreciate Elvis as much as their parents did.

Steve Jobs is and will always be a product of the period he lives in. He won't be as relevent in next generation, and I'd bet you that if he were too have immortality, we'd be bored with Steve eventually.

So, please, don't wish Steve Jobs on your unborn children. Or even born children.
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