Apple Historian
Join Date: May 2004
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I was looking at a Cool Whip container and noticed a "South Beach Diet Recommended" seal on it. I immediately pictured a bunch of shit-stain businessmen in meeting after fart-drenched-seat meeting, coming up with some stupid fucking agreement about putting this on the Cool Whip container.
"It will boost sales 10%!" FUCK YOU, I mean - who gives a fuck? I bet it took millions of dollars to make that happen, i bet lives were lost over it, i bet marriages were ruined...sleepless nights...you know it's true. This is America: those are problems we have. "We are reviewing some 9,000 recent UNHCR referrals from Syria. We are receiving roughly a thousand new ones each month, and we expect admissions from Syria to surge in 2015 and beyond." - Anne C. Richard, Assistant Secretary, Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration |
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Veteran Member
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Is this a joke?
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¡Damned!
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
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Maybe instead of 'South Beach' they meant to put 'Shaved Pussy'.
Maybe. |
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Apple Historian
Join Date: May 2004
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I'm just sick of shit like this. What is wrong with people? South Beach Diet Recommended? Jesus!
I can't even think of a beach with sand, blue skies, and waves anymore - just fat-asses. "We are reviewing some 9,000 recent UNHCR referrals from Syria. We are receiving roughly a thousand new ones each month, and we expect admissions from Syria to surge in 2015 and beyond." - Anne C. Richard, Assistant Secretary, Bureau of Population, Refugees, and Migration |
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Hoonigan
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
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Yeah.
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I shot the sherrif.
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You could just go to a different beach.
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Senior Member
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O.o
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is the next Chiquita
Join Date: Feb 2005
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Has Messiahtosh met Mr. Beer?
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Going Strange...
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Brooklyn, NY
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Who friggin' cares?
Don't use Cool Whip, anyway. Is it so much effort to use a whisk, some heavy cream, and a little sugar? Worried about your weight? Well DON'T HAVE IT EVERYDAY. Stick whatever labels you want on anything. I don't give a shit. Quote:
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M AH - ch ain saw
Join Date: May 2004
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is the next Chiquita
Join Date: Feb 2005
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Messiahtosh, Mr. Beer.
Mr. Beer, Messiahtosh. Hmm, have fun, will you? |
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Veteran Member
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ooooo Neat Trick Banana. Status icons are fun. And now I know the URL muahahahahahahahaha!
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superkaratemonkeydeathcar
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I was eatin' my Cool Whip™ on the beach the other day and some of the beach got in it, it was no longer cool.
So I just ate my stick of butter. So no, I don't recommend Cool Whip™ for my South Beach friends. "What's a Canadian farm boy to do?" |
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Veteran Member
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Was it real butter or vegetable oil butter?
LOL, this reminds me of when Kramer used butter as sun screen and cooked himself on the roof. |
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Apple Historian
Join Date: May 2004
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I'm drunk but I do not drink that heer. YUENGLING.
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Going Strange...
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Brooklyn, NY
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I'm working on Duvel. Which is far superior (if you're an ale kind of person).
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Hates the Infotainment
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
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South Beach.
I mean seriously WhoTF came up with that concept... South Beach Diet. Like people in South Beach are people we should emulate. South Beach is a hole, literally and figuratively. This year's Atkins. All diet fads must fuck off and die. Eat a balanced meal whenever you can... not too many carbs, not too much protein... then get some exercise every day. That formula is 100% guaranteed to be a more effective plan than every other diet and pill in existence over the long haul, unless you've got some serious metabolic issues from birth. ...into the light of a dark black night. |
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Space Pirate
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
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drunk posting is probably not a good idea....
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Hates the Infotainment
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
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For you we can make an exception. Post!
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Space Pirate
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
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Well I did get this PM entitled "Heyey!!" that said, and I cut-n-paste:
YORUr havews haave a taisl tails talil crapap tail they y asiad said so in Apaele Apelse Sp Apsp AppleiN Aap AppleOUTsidr I don't want to say who it's from.... 'cause that would be kind of embarrassing.... |
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Veteran Member
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do drewprps be cstin nd paastn agern!
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superkaratemonkeydeathcar
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I actually think South Beach is very nice, The Cobb Salad at the Blue Door, all the art deco hotels, The impossibly beautiful people, the impossibly shady people, salsa music, my third favorite restaurant in the world, NEMO is there. As for Miami, well you know "it takes a shark to catch a wave at the Fountainbleu".
"What's a Canadian farm boy to do?" |
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Space Pirate
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
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I think I was in Miami once, when I was six. Looking at the way they shoot it for film the place looks out of this world (those are the ritzy bits, I know). When I finally do get down there for a visit I plan to drive around with Donald Fagan's album 'The Nightfly' playing his version of Walk Between the Raindrops[iTunes Link]...
A shadow crossed the blue Miami sky As we hit the causeway by the big hotel We fought Now I can't remember why After all the words were said and tears were gone We vowed we'd never say goodbye When we kissed we could hear the sound of thunder As we watched the regulars rush the big hotels We kissed again as the showers swept the Florida shore You opened your umbrella But we walked between the raindrops back to your door In my dreams I can hear the sound of thunder I can see the causeway by the big hotels That happy day we'll find each other on that Florida shore You'll open your umbrella And we'll walk between the raindrops back to your door... Then I'll eat a big fat bowl of Cruel Whip and know that somewhere Messiahtosh is crying over the misuse of dietary specifications.... |
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BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope. Join Date: May 2004
Location: Inner Swabia. If you have to ask twice, don't.
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Veteran Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: State of Flux
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