User Name
Password
AppleNova Forums » Creative Endeavors »

Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond


Register Members List Calendar Search FAQ Posting Guidelines
Open Letters to People or Entities Who Are Unlikely to Respond
Page 7 of 17 First Previous 3 4 5 6 [7] 8 9 10 11  Next Last Thread Tools
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
 
2010-06-29, 00:50

Let me set the scene.

I'm wearing a faux vintáge tee with a giant rainbow maple leaf on it, above indigo-washed Gap 1969s. I have these hot pink/orange cans on, the left of which has a giant "XY" on it. They're plugged into my white iPhone, which is in the side pocket of my manbag. So.

Dear Fat Kid Who Passed Me On The Sidewalk And Loudly Proclaimed, "You Look GAY!"



Have yourself a cookie.

Robo

(Last pride post, I promise! And I'm normally not quite so faggy. To my credit, I wasn't wearing my purple Chucks. )

and i guess i've known it all along / the truth is, you have to be soft to be strong
  quote
Batman
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Iowa
 
2010-06-29, 01:58

Dear Idiot Drivers,

I'm riding my bike to most local destinations this summer. I signal my stops and turns, maintain situational awareness, and follow the rules of the road. I suggest that you should to.

That means you, Mister Green 1996 Honda Accord with Trashy Ground Effects and Racing Stripes who told me to "watch where I'm going" after you pealed out around a corner without checking for the biker crossing the top of the t-intersection.

And you aren't off the hook either, Mister Mid-2000s Mazda 3 who made clear eye contact with me as I was biking through the intersection you were waiting at, proceeded to drive forward, slam on the brakes as if you hadn't seen me coming, and then made a face at me as if it was my fault. When you stop at an intersection, you're supposed to wait for the people already in the intersection to pass through it, then take your turn and go.

Cheers,

Batman

As an addendum, to the lady on the bike who was riding in the road, passed several stopped cars, and rode through a red light at a busy intersection: don't! If you're going to ride in the road, follow the rules! People like you make drivers think that all bikers are like you, leading to frustrating situations (see above) for people like me.

/vent

Sometimes ... things that are expensive ... are worse.
  quote
Maciej
M AH - ch ain saw
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2010-06-29, 07:33

Quote:
Originally Posted by Batman View Post
As an addendum, to the lady on the bike who was riding in the road, passed several stopped cars, and rode through a red light at a busy intersection: don't! If you're going to ride in the road, follow the rules! People like you make drivers think that all bikers are like you, leading to frustrating situations (see above) for people like me.
That shit really gets my goat. Nearly all of my biker friends are always up in arms about how they don't get any respect on the road, but when I ask them every one has said they blow through red lights if "they think it's safe."

User formally known as Sh0eWax
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2010-06-29, 07:44

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robo View Post
(Last pride post, I promise!
I seriously, seriously doubt it...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robo View Post
And I'm normally not quite so faggy
Yeah, you've been on fire the past few days.
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
 
2010-06-29, 15:04

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
I seriously, seriously doubt it...
Well, it was. Ha!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0
Yeah, you've been on fire the past few days.
Well, June is a pretty significant month for me, in that regard. So yeah.

I was mainly referring to my dress sense, though. I don't normally wear rainbow maple leafs.

and i guess i've known it all along / the truth is, you have to be soft to be strong
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2010-07-03, 15:25

Dear Grocery Stores,

It does absolutely no good to have those 3-5 automated "self-checkout" stations if the crazy things never work right. If I have to ring up and bag my own stuff and then go stand in line just to get my change from an employee at some other location in the store (because the change dispenser on the self-serve machine is broken...again, and with no sign or indication), then I'm really not saving any time. And it's really not a "convenient feature for your valued customers", is it?

No, it's not.

Don't offer "convenient, time-saving" machines when they're usually anything but. Maybe someone should go through, a couple of times a day, and make sure they're stocked with change? You know, so when I stick in a $20 for a $17.28 bill, I don't have to stand behind all the complainers, check-cashers, money order-getters, jibber-jabber artists, etc. at the main service desk for 10-15 minutes to get my $2.72. The same $2.72 that should've been spit out, automatically, by the machine I chose to use so I didn't have to stand in your usual asshole-filled checkout lines of coupon abusers, no-pen-having check writers, last-minute item forgetters, no-ID beer buyers and argue-over-a-.04¢-discrepancy types.

Yours,
Paul

PS - If I could just order food online and somehow have it injected directly into my neck from my cable modem, I would rather do that than go to just about any grocery store these days. It's one of my least favorite things to do. Too bad about that whole "gotta eat to live" thing...
  quote
Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2010-07-03, 15:28

Dear Microsoft,

You just killed your Kin project, right? Then why the heck am I only now seeing TV comercials for it?! No, seriously, I just caught one on Comedy Central. Wtf, man?

Confused,
Occasional TV Viewer
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
 
2010-07-03, 15:33

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad View Post
Dear Microsoft,

You just killed your Kin project, right? Then why the heck am I only now seeing TV comercials for it?! No, seriously, I just caught one on Comedy Central. Wtf, man?

Confused,
Occasional TV Viewer
How is anyone watching Comedy Central inside the Kin's target market, anyway? They should advertise that abomination during Gossip Girl reruns, and that's it.
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2010-07-03, 15:36



Seriously?

Ohmigosh...

You know what would be sad/funny? If these commercials actually stirred up genuine desire and interest (yeah, the first time in MIcrosoft's advertising history, but just play along anyway...), and people only then learn "what, they're not making them? Then WTF was I seeing on TV this morning?! I was coming to buy six of them for my family!"



Microsoft could've had a legit, genuine hit on their hands...and they went and screwed it up pre-release! The only time people wanted something from them that they went and decided not to make.

Sounds about right, and par for the course (although usually it has to hit the streets a bit before people deem it a clueless dud).

Microsoft. We save you the trouble.™
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2010-07-03, 15:46

Dear Kids in the Pool,

I know it's wet and the cool water feels great on such a warm, humid day. But do you have to do that shrill, constant squealing and screaming for no apparent reason, all live-long day? Splash, laugh, yell "whee!" every once in a while, etc. That's all great, and totally expected and acceptable. I'm not being unreasonable, or asking for "silence", after all.

Please, just ease up on the ear-piercing, dog-range screeching (when you're not hurt, scared, drowning, etc.) that only water-winged four-year-olds seem capable of producing. It's really annoying after the 320th time this afternoon.

You're killing me. If you don't knock it off, I'm going to take you grocery shopping.

Signed,
Wishing I Had Some Earmuffs

PS - I'm having one hell of a day, it seems.
  quote
Noel
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chicago
 
2010-07-03, 17:09

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
Dear Grocery Stores,

It does absolutely no good to have those 3-5 automated "self-checkout" stations if the crazy things never work right. If I have to ring up and bag my own stuff and then go stand in line just to get my change from an employee at some other location in the store (because the change dispenser on the self-serve machine is broken...again, and with no sign or indication), then I'm really not saving any time. And it's really not a "convenient feature for your valued customers", is it?

No, it's not.

Don't offer "convenient, time-saving" machines when they're usually anything but. Maybe someone should go through, a couple of times a day, and make sure they're stocked with change? You know, so when I stick in a $20 for a $17.28 bill, I don't have to stand behind all the complainers, check-cashers, money order-getters, jibber-jabber artists, etc. at the main service desk for 10-15 minutes to get my $2.72. The same $2.72 that should've been spit out, automatically, by the machine I chose to use so I didn't have to stand in your usual asshole-filled checkout lines of coupon abusers, no-pen-having check writers, last-minute item forgetters, no-ID beer buyers and argue-over-a-.04¢-discrepancy types.

Yours,
Paul

PS - If I could just order food online and somehow have it injected directly into my neck from my cable modem, I would rather do that than go to just about any grocery store these days. It's one of my least favorite things to do. Too bad about that whole "gotta eat to live" thing...
Do you have a check card you can use instead of cash?
  quote
Bryson
Rocket Surgeon
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The Canadark
 
2010-07-03, 17:11

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
Dear Grocery Stores,

It does absolutely no good to have those 3-5 automated "self-checkout" stations if the crazy things never work .
Unexpected item in the posting area:

That's the bit that drives me insane: if you don't trust your customers not to steal your stuff, then don't install self-checkouts. Don't go installing bullishit "anti-theft" systems that overreact to the slightest stepping outside of the "normal".
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
 
2010-07-03, 17:21

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
PS - If I could just order food online and somehow have it injected directly into my neck from my cable modem, I would rather do that than go to just about any grocery store these days. It's one of my least favorite things to do. Too bad about that whole "gotta eat to live" thing...
Two words: robotic avatar.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
Dear Kids in the Pool,

I know it's wet and the cool water feels great on such a warm, humid day. But do you have to do that shrill, constant squealing and screaming for no apparent reason, all live-long day? Splash, laugh, yell "whee!" every once in a while, etc. That's all great, and totally expected and acceptable. I'm not being unreasonable, or asking for "silence", after all.

Please, just ease up on the ear-piercing, dog-range screeching (when you're not hurt, scared, drowning, etc.) that only water-winged four-year-olds seem capable of producing. It's really annoying after the 320th time this afternoon.
Two more: selective audition laser beams.

Think about it.
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2010-07-03, 17:33

I'll take those under advisement.
  quote
Noel
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chicago
 
2010-07-03, 18:47

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryson View Post
Unexpected item in the posting area:

That's the bit that drives me insane: if you don't trust your customers not to steal your stuff, then don't install self-checkouts. Don't go installing bullishit "anti-theft" systems that overreact to the slightest stepping outside of the "normal".
The few times I use those self-checkouts, it's when I'm only getting one or two small things, which I plan to just carry out in my hands. They always refuse to scan the next item until I put the current item in a fucking bag and it senses the weight of my pack of gum.
  quote
Maciej
M AH - ch ain saw
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2010-07-03, 18:52

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noel View Post
The few times I use those self-checkouts, it's when I'm only getting one or two small things, which I plan to just carry out in my hands. They always refuse to scan the next item until I put the current item in a fucking bag and it senses the weight of my pack of gum.
On mine there's a button that says "skip bagging." Yours don't?
  quote
Bryson
Rocket Surgeon
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The Canadark
 
2010-07-03, 19:01

Maybe, but why should I press a button for every item? Can't they just trust me? And if not, why let me check out myself? One or the fucking other.

Ikea's self-checkout has none of the "weight sensor" bullshit and the experience is approximately 95% better for it. Good work, Swedes!
  quote
Maciej
M AH - ch ain saw
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2010-07-03, 19:11

Right, I hear where your coming from.

The frustrating bit is when I'm in line, I know how to work the system, but the people in front of me keep making mistakes. I wish the grocery industry would move to an RF ID system so that we could just walk out with our stuff and swipe a card...

User formally known as Sh0eWax
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2010-07-03, 20:22

When the self-checker station works, it's really nice. For whatever reason (because it's never working and doling out change, I guess), there's never anyone at them when I go. And this store is kinda bad about short-staffing, so they'll have two checkout lanes - if we're lucky - during a Friday, around 6:00pm (I know... ), so I always see those four wide-open self-checkers and think "okay, I can roll the dice here or go over there and stand in line for at least 10-15 minutes".

When everything's working and the machine is all loaded up properly, it's a breeze.
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
 
2010-07-03, 20:46

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryson View Post
Ikea's self-checkout has none of the "weight sensor" bullshit and the experience is approximately 95% better for it. Good work, Swedes!
I love shopping at IKEA for this very reason. I can just go in, grab what I need, and buy it without ever being hassled to apply for a credit card or any bullshit (whether I go through the self-check or not). There's enough staffers so that if I have a question I can get an answer in seconds, but otherwise they stay out of my way and let me shop.

IKEA is the only store that I visit with regularity and have not once had a bad experience at.* Everyone is always all smiles, and like super knowledgeable too. I've gone in and mentioned a single item that hadn't been in their catalog for years and they knew exactly what I was talking about and informed me that, yes, it had been discontinued. I've gone in looking for one specific just-discontinued textile and a guy took the time to help me look all over for it and mentioned he thought he had seen it in the As-Is department, where they (sure enough!) had exactly one package of it in just the size I needed. And when my mom tripped and fell down a bunch of people ran up to her to make sure she was okay and they immediately started cleaning up her spilled soda and offered her a new one and offered to fetch a chair, if she wanted one. They have almost eerily good service. It's like a cult.

So, uh, IKEA:

Keep up the good work!

Robo, aka That One Asshole Who Always Pain-in-the-Ass Questions

*Yes, this includes Apple Stores, where I've had several bad experiences. I've never had a bad experience at my local indie Mac store, but I've only been there a few times.

and i guess i've known it all along / the truth is, you have to be soft to be strong
  quote
Noel
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chicago
 
2010-07-03, 22:18

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
When the self-checker station works, it's really nice. For whatever reason (because it's never working and doling out change, I guess), there's never anyone at them when I go. And this store is kinda bad about short-staffing, so they'll have two checkout lanes - if we're lucky - during a Friday, around 6:00pm (I know... ), so I always see those four wide-open self-checkers and think "okay, I can roll the dice here or go over there and stand in line for at least 10-15 minutes".

When everything's working and the machine is all loaded up properly, it's a breeze.
I'm telling you, man: check cards FTW!
  quote
ShadowOfGed
Travels via TARDIS
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Earthsea
 
2010-07-03, 22:29

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robo View Post
Robo, aka That One Asshole Who Always Pain-in-the-Ass Questions
This title no verb!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robo View Post
Yes, this includes Apple Stores, where I've had several bad experiences.
Sad! What happened?
  quote
Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2010-07-03, 23:20

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadowOfGed View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robo View Post
Robo, aka That One Asshole Who Always Pain-in-the-Ass Questions
This title no verb!
"Questions" could be the verb. "Pain-in-the-Ass" could be modifying that verb.

ie.

Robo, aka That One Asshole Who Always Pain-in-the-Ass Questions in a Pain-in-the-Ass manner.




Maybe.

The quality of this board depends on the quality of the posts. The only way to guarantee thoughtful, informative discussion is to write thoughtful, informative posts. AppleNova is not a real-time chat forum. You have time to compose messages and edit them before and after posting.
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
 
2010-07-04, 00:37

Nah. I just fucked up.

That happens sometimes, when I go back and edit my posts before posting. I rewrote that part several times.

As for what happened at the Apple Store, I've just had to deal with a few condescending employees, like the worst elitist-Mac-user stereotype. Vegas people: the Town Square store is awesome. The Fashion Show is not.

and i guess i've known it all along / the truth is, you have to be soft to be strong
  quote
Majost
monkey with a tiny cymbal
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Lost
 
2010-07-06, 01:41

Dear RedBox,

I like your business strategy. Really. I do. I think it's brilliant.

But making me sit through 14 minutes 10 seconds worth of unskippable FBI warnings advertisements, PSAs and trailers is absolutely maddening. You didn't do this earlier. What happened? Is $1 a DVD a night not enough to cover your costs? Or did you get greedy?

Please stop.
Matt

***************************

Dear DVD designers and implementors,

Fuck you.

That's all.
Matt
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
 
2010-07-06, 06:11

Quote:
Originally Posted by Majost View Post
Dear DVD designers and implementors,

Fuck you.

That's all.
Matt
Blu-ray has spoiled me, and the same DVD menus I thought were so cool a decade ago (I'm looking at you, The Matrix!) now seem bothersome and clunky. Although, in some cases, it's nice that you can watch them instead of the film ("Hmm, I forgot what happened in The Matrix Revolutions...").

Which brings me to:

Dear Wachowskis,

What the fuck happened with The Matrix Revolutions?

You know something is wrong when the series got worse when you added the giant mecha.

Robo

and i guess i've known it all along / the truth is, you have to be soft to be strong
  quote
solstace
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: London, UK
 
2010-07-09, 05:58

Dear Apple

Enough with the usual "launch a product then have no stock" thing already. It causes a buzz on forums and creates a demand™. It also p!55es off many potential (and existing) customers.

Oh and O2, your stock-keeping sucks.

Yours,
etc.

____________________


Dear Customer Support drones:

Closing a case as "solved" when it isn't is just plain rude, whatever the process designer has to think about it.

Yours,
etc.

_________________

Dear Customer Services Process and/or software designers:

Don't make a process that needs an open case to be closed by the agent, then reopened by the customer, in order for the customer's reply to be flagged up to the techsupport team for further action. It sucks and it looks plain rude. In the worst sense.

Thanks,

etc.

"A computer once beat me at chess. It was however no match for me at kick-boxing." - Unknown
Blog
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
 
2010-07-10, 15:45

Dear people who don't ever say what you actually mean but instead drop little hints every now and then and then later get mad at the people who didn't pick up on the hints because in reality not everybody hangs on your every word:

Fuck you.

Succinctly yours,
Robo

Off-topic (click to toggle):
Seriously, though. There are people in my family who, if their legs suddenly seized up while swimming in a pool, would say "My, swimming sure can be tiring!" and "Lifeguard, I really do admire that flotation device of yours!" and then drown.

and i guess i've known it all along / the truth is, you have to be soft to be strong
  quote
chucker
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: near Bremen, Germany
Send a message via ICQ to chucker Send a message via AIM to chucker Send a message via MSN to chucker Send a message via Yahoo to chucker Send a message via Skype™ to chucker 
2010-07-10, 18:46

Quote:
Originally Posted by Robo View Post
Off-topic (click to toggle):
Seriously, though. There are people in my family who, if their legs suddenly seized up while swimming in a pool, would say "My, swimming sure can be tiring!" and "Lifeguard, I really do admire that flotation device of yours!" and then drown.


<3
  quote
Banana
is the next Chiquita
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
 
2010-07-10, 18:51

Robo, given their propensity for understatement, you probably should report them to INS so they can deport them back to England, where they belong.
  quote
Posting Rules Navigation
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Page 7 of 17 First Previous 3 4 5 6 [7] 8 9 10 11  Next Last

Post Reply

Forum Jump
Thread Tools
Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
People with old powerbooks, please respond! evan Purchasing Advice 25 2008-03-06 02:37
Enlarge letters in Mac OS X? digitalprimate Genius Bar 8 2008-02-10 12:09
MBP takes about a minute to respond after waking up Kyros Genius Bar 9 2008-02-03 19:16
Quotes and html entities in MySql and HTML nassau Programmer's Nook 4 2006-10-02 03:39
G5 Wont Respond after 6 minutes Mikegrenwick Genius Bar 5 2005-09-15 01:25


« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:13.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004 - 2024, AppleNova