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World Leader Pretend
Ruling teh World
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston, MA
 
2006-08-27, 13:49

Since school has started up again for some of us, I have lots of new teachers. I think my most interesting teacher is a short, unassuming guy who has a very interesting (and secretive) past. He was a spy and NSA ghost, and he tells us stories about lots of really fascinating things, so I thought I should share some of the more entertaining and impressive ones with you guys here at AN. Enjoy!

At the Wall: 1
This event was really cool, mostly because it really happened. To start out, my teacher (we'll call him Jones) was stationed in a hardened compound right next to the Berlin Wall on the West side. He didn't do a lot of things there, mostly just intel and paper-work. This bunker was of great interest to the Russians because they didn't have a clue as to what it was. It had no windows, and was made out of concrete. The Russians wanted to keep an eye on this suspicious building, so they built a guard tower so they could sit on their side of the wall and watch the bunker 24/7. Here is a picture to help you out:

The Bunker is A, the Wall is W, and the tower is T.

After a while, his team figured out that all communications in East Germany were routed through this small building (U) where the Russians could listen to what was being said all throughout the city. Jones and his team decided to dig a tunnel under the wall and into the small building so they too could listen to everything. They dug the tunnel and tapped the lines, and soon they had access to all communications in East Berlin. Every now and again they had to service the lines, so they decided to hang some lights in the tunnel so it wasn't so dark and cold. This worked out great for a while, and the US had a great source of info.

One cold morning the first snow lightly covered the ground, and the Russians in the tower noticed something very strange: there was no snow along this little strip of ground that ran from that secret bunker, under the wall, and into their secret communications center. Mr. Jones and his team realized that the heat from the lights in the tunnel had burned off the snow, leaving a perfect outline of where the tunnel was! They quickly sent a few people down to take down the lights, but the Russians had already figured out what was going on. The Russians found the entrance and and started down the tunnel at the same time the Americans were going the other way to close the end off. They met in the middle of the tunnel and both of the parties took off when they saw each other! They both filled in their side of the tunnel, and one of the best sources of information for the US was lost.

Pretty crazy eh? I bet you never heard about that in your history classes.


At the Wall: 2

This event took place at the same bunker, and is pretty funny.

Apparently at this secretive bunker people got pretty bored, especially this group of technicians. They loved to play tricks on people, so one day a couple of them took a basic RC car and "pimped" it out. They added lots of fake antennas and wires, and apparently it looked something like a Mars rover. After the built it they took it out on the roof of the complex, where they "tested" it. One guy would have a clipboard and the other person would control it. Every day for a week they went out there and ran it in exactly the same route, and the guy with the clipboard would pretend to take measurements.

Now this attracted the attention of the Russians in their tower, and they reported this to their superiors. They couldn't figure out what the heck this thing was, and what it was doing. On the 7th day of "testing" the guys operating the rover stopped and looked up at the Russian's tower. They saw a full-bird Colonel with "the biggest pair of binoculars they had ever seen" trying to read what was on the clipboard. The guy with the clipboard stopped and turned the clipboard to the Colonel could read it. On the clipboard the guy had written and explicit comment in Russian about the Colonel's mother. Needless to say the Russians were furious, but the tech guys thought it was incredibly funny.


I probably will post more good stories and facts later in this thread... Cool huh? The side of history that you don't usually hear about.
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Mugge
Thunderbolt, fuck yeah!
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Denmark
 
2006-08-27, 14:25

Think I've heard a variant of the tunnel story on Discovery Channel. I love that kind of stories.

Do post some more WLP!

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thegeriatric
geri to my friends
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Heaven
 
2006-08-27, 14:40

Great reading. Look forward to more of the same.
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World Leader Pretend
Ruling teh World
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston, MA
 
2006-08-27, 16:52

Thanks! I'll post more when he tells them, although I've got some pretty good stuff right now. Maybe I should tell you a bit about the NSA and their supercomputer?
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chucker
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: near Bremen, Germany
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2006-08-27, 16:56

They're nice stories. Unrealistically heroic and exaggerated, but good reads.
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2006-08-27, 17:13

I have a hard time imagining an actual ex-NSA agent divulging that he was an agent at all, let alone telling you stories about it. Though humorous it almost sounds recycled to me. Any chance he's pulling your leg?

...into the light of a dark black night.
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Kraetos
Lovable Bastard
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston-ish
 
2006-08-27, 17:34

I had a history teacher two years ago who was notorious for a) inappropriate behavior with his female students and b) wildly exaggerated stories similar to the ones you're telling. Needless to say, he was fired the year I had him - never took an easier class in my life, for honors credit, no less!

My favorite story he told was about how he prevented World War Three:

In 1991, my teacher was listening to the news regarding the Soviet coup in 1991 which was degenerated into a standoff between Yeltsin and Gorbachev. My teacher, in the middle of nowhere screaming down some midwest highway in a little red Mustang during a torrential downpour, decided that as a special advisor to the White House, he needed to pull over and contact the White House and lend his expertise. Stopping at the first gas station he could find, he whipped out the sattelite phone he kept in the trunk and turned the TV to CNN.

He called the White House and they asked him his opinion on how the United States should proceed. Yeltsin had asked for U.S. assistance because some Soviet batallions were still loyal to Gorbachev. One of these batallions has surrounded the Russian White House. Obviously, the U.S. wanted very much to preserve the young Russian Republic and was more than willing to fight Gorbachev. However, if the U.S. backed Yeltsin, and Gorbachev siezed power, surely there would be no way to avert global war.

My teacher advised the U.S. send no aid because he knew the coup would fizzle out - the batallion in question would not open fire, even if ordered to. You see, my teacher recognized the markings on the tanks over the fuzzy CNN signal on a black and white TV in the middle of nowhere as the markings of a Russian reserve division made up of Moscow citizens. They would never attack their own city and risk hurting their own friends and family. The U.S. sent no aid, the battallions loyal to Gorbachev pledged loyalty to Yeltsin and disaster was averted.



Funny thing was, he was a great teacher. He recommended me for advanced placement history before he left in the spring, and taught me a lot of what I know on how to write a research paper.

Logic, logic, logic. Logic is the beginning of wisdom, Valeris, not the end.
  quote
Enki
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
 
2006-08-27, 18:32

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogs View Post
I have a hard time imagining an actual ex-NSA agent divulging that he was an agent at all, let alone telling you stories about it. Though humorous it almost sounds recycled to me. Any chance he's pulling your leg?

Yup. The signed security clearance contract says "lifetime" and a tunnel like this would definitely be covered there.

Now to throw the bullshit flag on the story. To melt the snow the lights would have to be pretty damn hot. How hot do you think it would be in the tunnel if it is hot enough to melt snow several feet outside the tunnel? No I don't think they were using sodium vapor klieg lights in that tunnel, too damn hot for humans then. And has anyone heard of turning out the lights when they weren't down there? Not to mention making a Hogan's Heroes style trap door into a Soviet communications building. I would think you would keep the lights off most of the time just to keep the floorboards from lighting up.

Now if we don't have enough of the ridiculous to debunk the story yet we can always wonder how shallow that tunnel would have to be to allow even klieg lights to melt the snow. I would guess a foot or two underground to allow that much heat transmission. You can't make a tunnel roof that thin stable, not to mention the foundations of The Wall went several times deeper than that. At 6-8 feet underground being the shallowest a stable tunnel could possible be constructed there is no way that there could have ever been a "little strip of ground" without snow above it. Too much insulation and radial dispersion of what heat would have been likely from 40 (max) watt bulbs or something like xmas tree lights.

I would buy the RC car story as something he heard secondhand. I have heard firsthand stories of similarly humorous hi-jinks on the not-so-high seas.
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Kickaha
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2006-08-27, 18:41

Ditto. Sounds to me like he's passing off urban myths as his own history.

Now, there was a fraternity at the U of Wash that had their 'sekrit meeting room' under the front lawn, and a tunnel to it from the basement. It rarely snows in Seattle, but the outline of the room and tunnel *were* visible from a less-deep layer of snow over a section of the lawn one year. Of course, this wasn't from lights, but because they kept the room and tunnel heated, with poor insulation up top. The depth wasn't an issue because the had a fully-built tunnel with floor, walls, and ceiling supports, so it could be shallow. It *was* funny to see these guys freaking out, trying to cover the thin areas of snow with more snow. Subtle, that was.
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autodata
hustlin
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2006-08-27, 19:02

Operation Gold
  quote
World Leader Pretend
Ruling teh World
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston, MA
 
2006-08-27, 20:45

Quote:
Originally Posted by chucker View Post
They're nice stories. Unrealistically heroic and exaggerated, but good reads.
He wasn't ever in the tunnel himself, and he wasn't a commander. The way it sounds he just was stationed there and witnessed this happen.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogs View Post
I have a hard time imagining an actual ex-NSA agent divulging that he was an agent at all, let alone telling you stories about it. Though humorous it almost sounds recycled to me. Any chance he's pulling your leg?
He actually was an agent up to about 1990, and was semi-active till '95. I have no idea how much he knows, or what he can't tell us. When he was telling us about the NSA's supercomputer crash (sometime in 1993-1994, he was vague) he had very high-level clearance. Has anyone heard about a system-wide crash around that time? I'm 98% sure he's telling the truth.
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billybobsky
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Inner Swabia. If you have to ask twice, don't.
 
2006-08-27, 21:54

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kraetos View Post
I had a history teacher two years ago who was notorious for a) inappropriate behavior with his female students and b) wildly exaggerated stories similar to the ones you're telling. Needless to say, he was fired the year I had him - never took an easier class in my life, for honors credit, no less!

My favorite story he told was about how he prevented World War Three:

In 1991, my teacher was listening to the news regarding the Soviet coup in 1991 which was degenerated into a standoff between Yeltsin and Gorbachev. My teacher, in the middle of nowhere screaming down some midwest highway in a little red Mustang during a torrential downpour, decided that as a special advisor to the White House, he needed to pull over and contact the White House and lend his expertise. Stopping at the first gas station he could find, he whipped out the sattelite phone he kept in the trunk and turned the TV to CNN.

He called the White House and they asked him his opinion on how the United States should proceed. Yeltsin had asked for U.S. assistance because some Soviet batallions were still loyal to Gorbachev. One of these batallions has surrounded the Russian White House. Obviously, the U.S. wanted very much to preserve the young Russian Republic and was more than willing to fight Gorbachev. However, if the U.S. backed Yeltsin, and Gorbachev siezed power, surely there would be no way to avert global war.

My teacher advised the U.S. send no aid because he knew the coup would fizzle out - the batallion in question would not open fire, even if ordered to. You see, my teacher recognized the markings on the tanks over the fuzzy CNN signal on a black and white TV in the middle of nowhere as the markings of a Russian reserve division made up of Moscow citizens. They would never attack their own city and risk hurting their own friends and family. The U.S. sent no aid, the battallions loyal to Gorbachev pledged loyalty to Yeltsin and disaster was averted.



Funny thing was, he was a great teacher. He recommended me for advanced placement history before he left in the spring, and taught me a lot of what I know on how to write a research paper.
That isn't even historically accurate. Yeltsin wasn't against Gorbachev during the coup in 1991, both were against the hard liner communists still in charge of the KGB and military. While Yeltsin benefited from the failure of Gorbachev, he was already elected to the position he continued to have before the coup...

eh...

What do high school teachers know?
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Enki
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
 
2006-08-27, 23:37

I'm pretty sure he's full of crap, especially after the Operation Gold link. What is he, 75-80 years old or so? If not, he's feeding you a line that you are eating right up.

Oh, and another thing, NSA doesn't have field agents or spies. Their whole reason for being is signals intelligence -- intercept, encryption and decryption.

If any of this was firsthand true he would have said more than enough to violate his NDA and potentially see the inside of a cell for a few years, or at least have every job he ever takes receive official letters regarding his trustworthiness. That club doesn't mess around.
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FFL
Fishhead Family Reunited
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Slightly Off Center
 
2006-08-28, 00:43

I dunno - sounds credible to me.

I heard that most retired espionage agents become high school teachers.
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scratt
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: M-F: Thailand Weekends : F1 2010 - Various Tracks!
Send a message via Skype™ to scratt 
2006-08-28, 00:48

You generally find that people who have done stuff for real, don't need to tell stories about it all the time, and that those who wish they had done things often tell the stories.

Basing stories on things which are partially in the public domain and embellishing them is a classic sign of this. Or relating it as a coincidental observer.

I think the guy is pulling yout leg WLP, perhaps to enhance popularity or help with classroom control.

In the present climate in the US I would give him some friendly advice, and tell him to keep his clap shut for his own good, either way!

'Remember, measure life by the moments that take your breath away, not by how many breaths you take'
Extreme Sports Cafe | ESC's blog | scratt's blog | @thescratt
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åsen
Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2006-08-28, 01:52

Alternatively, this was proper spying: http://www.brixmis.co.uk/.
Click on 'BRIXMIS brief' for the full story.

Driving at high speed around East Germany, in high-performance vehicles, taking photos of the Soviet military.
All the time being chased by angry police, soldiers, Stasi etc. Occasionally being arrested, or shot at.

A former boss of mine was on the BRIXMIS staff in the early 1980s. The most exhilarating 3 years of his life.
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chucker
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: near Bremen, Germany
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2006-08-28, 02:50

Quote:
Originally Posted by Enki View Post
Oh, and another thing, NSA doesn't have field agents or spies.
Yeah, that made me wonder too. This would seem more like a CIA-type operation.
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