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Paris Hilton (I know...) searching for "BFF"...via, you guessed it, "reality show"


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Paris Hilton (I know...) searching for "BFF"...via, you guessed it, "reality show"
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2008-03-14, 16:50



I know, I know..."scates, you've making another Hilton thread?"

Hang in there...this one's kinda good!



Just when I thought TV producers and networks have possibly come up with everything they can to make a reality TV show about (and I was getting worried for them, thinking they might have to write/create original, watchable stuff once again that wasn't populated by asshats, dickweeds and jizzwits) comes this life-affirming bit of news...

The story...in all its glory.

Some giggle bombs I culled from the article, just for my friends here to enjoy:

Quote:
The heiress is set to star in a new MTV series where the average American can register at www.parisbff.com to be the best bud of the Hollywood heartbreaker.

"I'm looking for someone with loyalty and integrity that won't stab me in the back like so many do in this town," Paris said at a Hollywood Hills press conference on Thursday night. "I want someone who will be like my sister; she really is my best friend."
Then pay your bony sister to be your best, most trusted friend and be done with it already and quit bugging us with it.

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the sense this is more about her "being on TV" than it is striking gold on any sort of lifelong, deeply spiritual friendship for the mindless twat (who, by the way, "retired" some two years ago, I'll remind you...I wrote about it here because a) I didn't know she actually did anything, and b) I, foolishly, thought "whew...we won't be seeing her again then. Hallelu..."...huh? Oh, she's back? Already? It's not even been 14 hours!

Her retirement was shorter than her jail stay.

Anyway...

Quote:
Filming is set to start in May, when the singer/actress/designer will recruit 20 "lucky" lasses and lads to live with her in a posh pad.
Yes, I've already applied. Fingers crossed on this, people...

Quote:
Paris [said] that she plans to test the contestants "like crazy."
World history? Maybe geography? Perhaps politics, being an election year in the U.S.? Thermal physics and stuff with big numbers and lots of letters?

Quote:
"I'm a pretty good judge of character...
"All my boyfriends are amateur videographers/documentary filmmakers who sell footage of me sucking their dick to XtremeCelebCooch.com".

Yes, other than that six-time lapse in judgement...

Quote:
...and I'm confident I will make the right decision," Hilton said. "It will be a fun experience — we will go to Vegas...
Where lifelong, meaningful friendships are always formed and cemented (and the VD to prove it). Everyone knows this.

Quote:
...and we will party hard.
The girl's got her head on straight, and her priorities firmly nailed down. I do admire that in a woman.

"So, Paris...our son tells us you're quite a driven, dedicated young woman. What is it that you do?"

"I, like, party so hard."

"Welcome to the family!"

Quote:
I will be teaching...
Sorry...that's just hilarious, all on its own. Yes, and I will be stunt-piloting the Space Shuttle through the base of the Eiffel Tower, then write my name in the sky, with red smoke, over the Seine. Next Thursday (mark it on your calendars).

Quote:
...the contestants and examining them on if they can get into clubs, watching them shop."
Thank heavens! Because I was kinda worried that they'd spend time on completely meaningless, "WTF?!" stuff like eating live scorpions or chugging fermented bear semen (so they could win an immunity reacharound from the apprentice of the tribal big brother).

Gaining access to the hottest clubs, and being assessed on your shopping skillz? That's practically curing eyeball cancer.



Suck it, Oprah...you're a lightweight.

Quote:
But although Hilton said that her lifelong bestie Nicole Richie "understands that she will never be replaced"...
All together: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Quote:
...the new mom will possibly make a guest appearance on the program.
The reason God invented Tivo.

Quote:
So let's hope the hotel hottie can do better things for MTV than she did for the box office.

Hilton’s most recent comedy, "The Hottie and the Nottie" has reportedly grossed only $27,696 domestically in theaters on its opening weekend while her 2003 horror "House of Wax" didn’t do much better. As for her other film attempts, "The Hillz" and "Bottoms Up" — well, they both went straight to DVD.

But let's not forget that the pap-ular Paris does have the ability to make millions with her ah, on-screen sexiness. After all, her infamous homemade sex video "1 Night in Paris" is still one of the most downloaded clips on the Web, and has made more than $50 million in DVD sales.
I do believe the girl's found her niche!

Her "legit" movies, combined, can't break $480 domestically. But put her on night-vision in a hotel room - and earning her rep "the hard way" - and suddenly she's Peter Jackson, Bryan Singer and Michael Bay, all rolled into one!

Speaks volumes about how people see - or want to see - her most, huh?



I don't think this creature will ever just "go away"...
  quote
Foj
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Atlanta
 
2008-03-14, 16:58

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
I don't think this creature will ever just "go away"...
Wait, you mean 20-30 years from she'll 'still' be making these types of shows?!?!?!?!?!?

NOOOoooooooo!!




  quote
pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2008-03-14, 17:04

I'd put money on it. Some people are just timeless.



[September, 2058]"Paris Checks Into The Home", Wednesdays on NBC![/September, 2058]
  quote
709
Damned
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
 
2008-03-14, 17:07

"Paris Hilton" and the "BFF" acronym should never be allowed in the same sentence. I took it to mean something else entirely...and on a reality show no less.


Still thought it was plausible though.

So it goes.
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2008-03-14, 17:09

They'd get more viewers with that. Hell, I'd watch...
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Mugge
Thunderbolt, fuck yeah!
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Denmark
 
2008-03-14, 17:11

Ok. I'll need a goat, a dead crow, a sabot with mud in it...

And someone else than me, dumb enough to ride the goat!

  quote
Foj
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Atlanta
 
2008-03-14, 17:11

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
[September, 2058]"Paris Checks Into The Home", Wednesdays on NBC![/September, 2058]
I can see it now.

'Ok, Gladys, if you can pick the most fashionable walker accessories, you'll be my BFF!(crack).........there goes my hip.'
  quote
Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2008-03-14, 17:26

Dear God, please strike her down for everyone's benefit (including her own)...

  quote
pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2008-03-28, 11:40

Sorry, can't help myself (and it's a Friday...whaddya want from me?).

Paris: "I'm a role model to young women."



The day my daughter (pretend I have one) aspires to be an amateur porn video icon and spend a few minutes in jail for a DUI, sure...I can think of no better role model and inspiration! She's totally right...

Thanks, Paris...you rock!

Quote:
Paris Hilton, the celebrity and hotel heiress who spent a stint in jail last year, said on Thursday she sees herself as a role model for young women...


That sentence just kinda speaks for itself. No commentary/embellishment necessary.

Quote:
Hilton, who will sit on a jury to select Miss Turkey 2008, said she valued not only beauty but also "good heart" when looking at the contestants' attributes.

"This is my first time judging anything like this," she told Reuters. "I'm going to look at how the girls carry themselves, what they look like, the way they dress and what they say."
Irony. x50. Cubed. With a side order of WTF?!
  quote
chucker
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: near Bremen, Germany
Send a message via ICQ to chucker Send a message via AIM to chucker Send a message via MSN to chucker Send a message via Yahoo to chucker Send a message via Skype™ to chucker 
2008-03-28, 12:14

Paul Scates (I know…) searching for "WTF"… via, you guessed it, "discussion forum"

  quote
MBHockey
skates=grafs
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: New York
 
2008-03-31, 22:11

Simply Stunning™.
  quote
Banana
is the next Chiquita
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
 
2008-04-01, 15:26

I'm thinking that someone should start a reality show... Call it "Paris and Paul" starring of course, that bubbly airhead and ours truly. This way we get to tune in at Paul's indignation and WTF? over Paris's antics.

Guaranteed to garner rates like never ever!
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2008-04-01, 15:32

I wouldn't do it because I'm afraid I might fall in love with her.












  quote
Foj
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Atlanta
 
2008-04-01, 15:35

I think filming of that would only last for the first 30 minutes tops before it ends with Paul smacking Paris over the head with her chihuahua.
  quote
Banana
is the next Chiquita
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
 
2008-04-01, 17:17

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0 View Post
I wouldn't do it because I'm afraid I might fall in love with her.
But, but, but, this is your opportunity! GOLDEN opportunity, baby! You could be rakin' in millions! Who'd want to miss out this once-in-lifetime opportunity?








That said, I am going to side with Foj's predictions as being more likely, except that they won't stop the production.

I can just imagine it on tomorrow's Star: "Paris in tears: This nasty man is a meany!"
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