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It is getting annoying as hell to sell a vehicle online


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It is getting annoying as hell to sell a vehicle online
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murbot
Hoonigan
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2011-06-21, 12:48

Seriously, this is getting really old. I've been trying to sell our '08 Odyssey for the last week. I stuck an ad on Kijiji and had a couple of interested parties. Then I started getting calls from people who could "facilitate a sale" to interested parties at no cost, or help me with my advertising.

I also stuck an ad up on Auto Trader for free. Same exact ad. More of these calls.

I edited the Kijiji ad a couple days later, adding in there that it is a leased vehicle, and the buyer could just take over the lease instead of buying the thing outright. After doing that I started getting emails and calls from companies that would find someone to take the lease over if I just advertise on their site for $60. I politely decline, etc.

I wake up the other morning to see I got another email from a lease takeover place (leaseexperts.ca) with the whole sales pitch. It came in at about 4am. A later email at 7am is also sitting there from Auto Trader telling me that my ad edit has been approved. WTF?! I go check the ad out, and the fucking exact text from my Kijiji ad mentioning the lease takeover shit is there, in my Auto Trader ad. The one you supposedly need a password to go edit. ?? So some fuckbag from this lease place edited my ad somehow?

Auto Trader tells me it has to be someone with access to my email. I had a pretty gnarly password on that account, but who knows. Anyway I changed to password to something more gnarly (radical, even).

I can't see why they'd go to any big effort to add that shit to my ad description. But who the hell else would do that? Crazy shit, man.

Then this morning I get an email through Auto Trader asking if I still have the van for sale. I reply that yes, I do… then I get this fucking gem of an email back:

Quote:
Hi there, Thank you for getting back to me.Can you assure me that the
vehicle is in good state and that i will not be disappointed with it
and I'm ready to pay your asking price.To be honest, i wanted to buy
this for my father as a surprise birthday gift,he has being there for
me and doesn,t deserve something less but the issue is I'm a marine
contractor and i just got a contract which i am doing presently and
The contract is strictly no call, due to the lack of reception on the
sea area,,But I'm able to access email anytime as we will make use of
laptop so my only quickest payment option is PayPal as i can send
money via PayPal anytime.Moreso i choose paypal for this transaction
cause i want to avoid the scams going down on the internet this
days,and want the both party to be on a safe side cause paypal
security measure is unbeatable.Since I'm requesting this transaction
to be done via PayPal, i will be responsible for all the pay pal
fee/charges on this transaction and if you don't have an account with
paypal, its pretty easy, safe and secured to open one. Just log on to
www.paypal.com. I hope we can make the purchase as fast as possible? I
have a mover that will come for it once payment clears and they will
be handling the title for me.So i look forward to hear from you soon.
Many thanks.
Sounds good, chief. Thank god you will use PayPal so we can avoid the scams going down on the internet this days!!!

Friggin' brutal. I'm not even replying to half the emails I get now, they're asking me stupid shit like what model is it, how many kilometers are on it, etc, when that shit is RIGHT THERE IN THE TITLE. These genius emails are mostly all with super broken english, too.

Argh. Frustrating. Anyway, I'm sure I'm not the only one to have a hard time selling a car these days. Any other horror stories?
  quote
kscherer
Which way is up?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boyzeee
 
2011-06-21, 13:13

We sold our Pacifica through cars.com, and very quickly had a buyer in Montana. They drove down to Boise with a cashier's check in hand and drove away. Worked like a charm. Nothing but good news on that one. We paid the $60 listing fee and are glad we did. In a crap market, we got $500 more than we owed and walked away in great shape.

Our Caravan, however, generated some e-mails just like what you got. We listed it on craigslist and got hammered with "for which to see you the deal will be making grand titles and forthwith money actions".

So, yeah, *Bill Clinton voice* "I feel your pain."



Anywhooo, good luck with that…

- AppleNova is the best Mac-users forum on the internet. We are smart, educated, capable, and helpful. We are also loaded with smart-alecks! :)
- Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. (Mat 5:9)
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
 
2011-06-21, 13:21

I amused myself through my most recent crisis by looking at mc classifieds, which felt like doing something productive. If there's a good place for vehicle classifieds on the internet, I haven't found it. And of course this is Dumbfuck, Oregon, so it's nothing but dirt bikes anyway. And apparently some dumb fuck decided to include some other garbage with his bike, as like a bonus, and so now they all feel compelled to do the same, as if emulating infomercials will give their ads an air of legitimacy. No, fucker. I don't want your paintball gun. I don't want your real gun, either. I don't care how great a deal the bundle is. How much is just the fucking bike?

Everybody wants to fucking "traed" their bikes for shit, too. See, I thought one of the great things about having a currency was that I could offer cash money to the seller, who could then use that to buy whatever he wanted — organs, even! But it's like the Wild Fucking West out here. "It's the wild, man. Your dollars are useless. Got a horse trailer?"

And that's just as a buyer. I can't imagine what it would be like as a seller. I think continuing to just wreck my bikes would be preferable.

and i guess i've known it all along / the truth is, you have to be soft to be strong
  quote
Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2011-06-21, 13:41

The whole idea of trying to sell a car online (unless you sell it to a reputable company like Carmax or whatever) seems a little risky to me. But then again I think Craig's (Crime) List is a Hive of Scum and Villainy so what do I know?

...into the light of a dark black night.
  quote
Mugge
Thunderbolt, fuck yeah!
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Denmark
 
2011-06-21, 14:43

Hey murbot, you should demand payment in Bitcoins.

  quote
torifile
Less than Stellar Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Durham, NC
Send a message via AIM to torifile  
2011-06-21, 14:48

I sold my car in 2 days on Craigslist. My local CL kicks major ass, apparently.
  quote
Bonn89
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
 
2011-06-22, 14:43

I have to agree with torifile, my local Craigslist (Maine) is pretty awesome and scam-free.
  quote
murbot
Hoonigan
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2011-06-23, 10:35

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mugge View Post
Hey murbot, you should demand payment in Bitcoins.
I haven't done that, but I have been fucking around with him a bit.

Here's our exchange so far. I put my replies in bold for easier reading... and because I'm being so bold.

Quote:
I don't know how PayPal works. I need this to be a very safe transaction because the proceeds of this sale are needed for my son's surgery. How does this work?
Quote:
Thanks for your e-mail. Due to the nature of my work,phone calls
making and visiting of website are restricted but i squeezed out time
to check this advert and send you an email regarding it. Like i said
am presently offshore busy sailing in the sea and the only easier way
for me to pay in the money is through PayPal and you will get the
funds in your account before my agent come there for the Pick Up.
sorry to hear you don't have an account with PayPal. I hope you wont
mind to get an account with PayPal. PayPal is the safer, easier way
to pay and get paid online. The service allows anyone to pay in any
way they prefer, including through credit cards, bank accounts, buyer
credit or account balances, without sharing financial information.,all
you need to do is visit www.paypal.com and register with them. When
you are done with the registration send me the email used for the
registration with PayPal so i can pay in.

Await your response
Quote:
I should probably ask a little more because of fees and such. How much do you think they will be?
Quote:
Well about the PayPal charges,i will take care of it so you dont need
to take care of any fee or pay any fee to PayPal
Quote:
My research into the current fee structure at PayPal has led to a somewhat startling discovery, at least as far as I am concerned. It seems that the fee to accept a payment of this value across border and in cdn funds is something in the neighborhood of $974.30 which would require a payment in the amount of $24974.30 so that I would realize the aforementioned sale price of $24000. I need this exact amount to fund my son's surgery. In fact upon further reflection, to be on the safe side, I will make a proposal to you: that we round this figure up to $1067 to ensure the final received funds are not less than $24000CDN. This would alter the amount payable by you to a new figure which is exactly $25067.00CDN. If this is agreeable with you please reply in a most timely fashion so that I may sign up a new account with PayPal to facilitate the transaction.

Also I should disclose that there is the faint odor of elderberries in the van but it is nothing that a good shampooing or exorcism can't dispel.

Awaiting your reply.
Quote:
Ok..well i am also concern with your son Surgery so i am ready to pay
the amount and also to make the transaction faster...So i will like
you to get the account with PayPal so i can make the payment to you
Asap..

Thanks
Quote:
Sounds great I will set the account up.

How long do we wait for the payment to clear before your movers pick up teh van??!
Quote:
Once i make the payment,PayPal would alert you that i have send the
money into your account and PayPal will tell you what to the to clear
the money and after this,My mover would contact you on when to come
for the pickup of the Van..

Thanks and say me well to your son and i wish him quick recovery..
Quote:
Hey is there any chance you can send an extra $500 with the payment? As kind of a loan? I will have the $500 to give your driver when he gets here. Also hope it's ok but my wife backed into a post this evening, bit of a dent on the bumper, I'm sure you could buff it out though.

Let me know, buddy. Thanks. It would be a huge favor. I promise to pay it back.
Oooooh, here comes the catch!!!

Quote:
I just wanna make you know that i will do so about adding the 500$
loan you requested but i had this little problem with the picking
up,I got an email from my agent..i taught i included that in my
previous email.he said he won't come and pick up the item unless i pay
him the agent commission fee first in order to be able to schedule a
pick up time ,and my pick up agent head quarters is in the Ohio and
all commission payments made for pick up, from anywhere in the world
is sent to their head quarters in the Ohio and the only form of
payments they accept is western union money transfer and i tried to
pay online but i will need a credit card which i didn't bring aboard
the ship, and there is no post office(there is usually a western union
section in most post offices) or any western union agent on sea! so i
have to ask you to help me with the pick up fees, i will include the
$1300 they charged to pick it up and take it my home(1st class
treatment), to the payments i will send through paypal, after i have
made the payments, i will need you to help me send the $1300 to my
pick up agent through western union money transfer, the western union
money transfer can be made at a post office near to you,there is
always a western union agent in most post offices or online at
www.westernunion.com .I will be making the payments as soon as i got
your paypal email and will email you as soon as it has been done.Just
want to know if i should include the money,would you help me send to
the agent headquater in Ohio?

Thanks
Quote:
Send me details of who to send this fucking $1300 to and I'll take care of it tomorrow, buddy. Thanks for the $500 loan!

PayPal me at *******@live.com

You sure you're a marine contractor at sea? You're sending lots of emails in a day. You're not a camel fucker or a nigerian douche muncher are you? Just wondering.
Quote:
Hello Murray, i just made the payment via a paypal now, so i added
extra $200.00 for the western union charges that may requested from
you at the western union point to send the $1,300,00CAD to my shipping
company in Ohio for the registration, therefore the Total amount
which i transfer into your paypal account equals to...$27,067 so here
is the name and address of my shipping company which you are to send
the money to in Ohio,,you can send a western union ??

Nice doing business with you and i am back to work now, will talk with
you latter.
Quote:
Hey bro, mad props for the lightning fast payment. That was all intergalactic and shit! I thought you were backing out of the deal last night when I kept checking my email and saw that you had kept sending no emails to me and I was all "oh this dude is fuckin' walkin' on me!!" then this morning I checked my email and saw you send email payment by secure PayPal with even security confirm so now my mind is having a rest and relax. *sie*

I having my business partner check the security and verify PayPal payment then when proceeds safely will send western union and send receipt. Just having the last bit of water pumped from under the front seats and hopefully the interior is dried out in a day or two.

I will be in touches by 4:19.
Quote:
I have a mover that will come for it once payment clears and they will
be handling the title for me.So i look forward to hear from you soon.
Many thanks.
Funny that I'm completely changing the tone of my emails, dropping insults and profanity in there, telling him things wrong with the van, etc. This is a very, very understanding and thoughtful guy. He even wishes my son well with his surgery.

Oh, and the PayPal emails I got are just a riot - I'll paste 'em in the next message here:
  quote
murbot
Hoonigan
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2011-06-23, 10:36

Quote:
Hello *******@live.com,


You've received an instant payment of $27,067.00 CAD from Lucas Rufanel.

*** PAYMENT RECEIPT ***

Transaction Date: 23.06.2011

Transaction ID: 4UN65923VN089111H


Payment Status PayPal Transaction Charges
Secure Trading Paid By Buyer


Shipping fee:

Western Union Charges:

Item Price:
$1300.00 CAD

$200.00 CAD

$25,567.00 CAD

Total: $27,067.00 CAD
NOTE:The total fund has been deducted from the buyer's account including our service charges and a temporary hold has been placed on it by our fund verification team been a transaction,so it has to undergo a verification process. We will send you a message shortly after this payment receipt,about the verification procedure which you are to follow in order to get your fund in your account.

This payment was issued to your account through our online payment service and monitored by our fund verification team.
Email:verifyme@consultant.com,if you have any inquiry regarding this transaction.

PayPal – The safer,easier way to pay

Fight fake emails
· Forward suspicious emails to:verifyme@consultant.com
· Make sure you're using the latest internet browser.

Thank you for using PayPal.
The PayPal Team.

And this "verification procedure below for a secure trading" email is effing priceless:

Quote:
Hello *******@live.com,

Follow the verification procedures below and send us the requirement so we can release the fund to your account.

This is to let you know that the $27,067.00 CAD you received now from Lucas Rufanel has been secured by PayPal and on hold at our fund verification team desk for verification,being a transfer that involves the total amount of money. The total sum of $27,067.00 CAD has been deducted from Lucas Rufanel account which include the shipping fee and Western Union charges to send it to the pick up agent. So we want you to send the added shipping fee upfront and email us the Western Union money sent scanned receipt copy in order for us to complete the verification and release the fund to your account.

PayPal Buyer Protection and security measure is to secure Lucas Rufanel from losing his money,while you are also safe by sending the added shipping fee upfront,because Lucas Rufanel will not be permitted to reverse the payment after you have sent the shipping fee to the pick up agent and email the scanned copy of the Western Union receipt to us.Keep away the money sent scanned receipt copy from Lucas Rufanel or his pick up agent as soon as you send the shipping fee upfront to the pick up agent name and address via Western Union for your own safety.

Email us the Western Union money sent scanned receipt copy at:verifyme@consultant.com.
Below is the name and address of the shipping agent where the $1300.00 CAD would be sent to,via Western Union.
.


Eva Conley
3450 vanatta rd
Centerburg,
Ohio
43011
USA.

Address Status:
Confirmed


Thank you for using PayPal.
The PayPal Team.
They couldn't at least have got their hands on something official looking from PayPal? Maybe copy and paste some shit in there that looks like it was written by someone with at least a grade 7 education?

Disturbing and hilarious at the same time. Like when I try to dance sexy for my wife.
  quote
Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
 
2011-06-23, 10:52

  quote
Bonn89
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
 
2011-06-23, 11:12

Murbot is officially my new favorite person on the Internet.
  quote
murbot
Hoonigan
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2011-06-23, 11:20

Thanks BPMF.

Bonn, thanks, but you have ridiculously low standards.
  quote
kscherer
Which way is up?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boyzeee
 
2011-06-23, 11:40



Truth be told. For every asshole in the world, there is a better one in Canada!

Eh!

Good stuff, Murbot. I hope the effort you put in was worth the funny. Sure was for me!

- AppleNova is the best Mac-users forum on the internet. We are smart, educated, capable, and helpful. We are also loaded with smart-alecks! :)
- Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. (Mat 5:9)
  quote
bassplayinMacFiend
Banging the Bottom End
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
 
2011-06-23, 12:22

No problemo man. Love your replies. The Just having the last bit of water pumped from under the front seats and hopefully the interior is dried out in a day or two. is awesome!
  quote
murbot
Hoonigan
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2011-06-23, 12:33

Guess I should get this form filled out and sent along...

  quote
kscherer
Which way is up?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boyzeee
 
2011-06-23, 12:39

I think at this point you should change the terms of the agreement. Since, for whatever reason, you cannot use Western Union, you should arrange for their shipping agent to meet a friend of yours in Akron, Ohio and exchange the money at his bank, or some crap like that. Make this pecker dance all over Earth trying to get his money.

- AppleNova is the best Mac-users forum on the internet. We are smart, educated, capable, and helpful. We are also loaded with smart-alecks! :)
- Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. (Mat 5:9)
  quote
murbot
Hoonigan
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2011-06-23, 13:09

Good idea. I might still fill out this form, then claim that for whatever reason the transaction didn't go through and I have to now have my guy pay cash in Ohio. (or, *the* Ohio, apparently)

I just fired this off to keep the time between emails short:

Quote:
Success my friend!! I have return at western onion orifice from having send $1300 to van movers in the Ohio. Large receipt here needs scan or something then into email it goes for your perusal.

Almost all of the dog chew marks came out of the headrests and most of the torn carpeting in the rear seat area has been stapled down. You can't even tell the staples are there unless you put your feet on floor when you sit in the back seats.

I will have the receipt in your hands very soon my friend!!
  quote
Xaqtly
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2011-06-23, 13:14

Elderberries and exorcism. I hate you for making me laugh this hard at work.
  quote
drewprops
Space Pirate
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2011-06-23, 13:28

Do any of our people live near Centerburg? This is beginning to feel like P-p-p-p-powerbook!!!


...
  quote
Chinney
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
 
2011-06-23, 15:25

I am love this. More good please. To receive a more good appreciate of this good please sir send your email to chimney@ifckwithu.com with all personal.
  quote
murbot
Hoonigan
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2011-06-23, 17:21

Quote:
Hey Lucas. Just sent receipt to PayPal. Here it is for you to see as well. Money is probably already there. I paid extra for the money in minutes service.

My son can't wait for the money to get here. His lymph nodes are swelling up like horse cocks.

Mechanic says he'll have the odometer put back together by the time the van is picked up, if not I'll give your transfer driver a $10 bill to give you for the hassle.

Great doing business with you. Hope the sea is not too angry today my friend, like an old man trying to send soup back in a deli.


I guess if he's still emailing me by tomorrow asking where this money is, I'll have to give him a story then try to set up the in person meeting. Anyone in the Ohio want to make a few bucks?
  quote
kscherer
Which way is up?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boyzeee
 
2011-06-23, 17:35

Murray Python.



Classic. If that's your real last name, then even better.


Quote:
Originally Posted by murbot View Post
I guess if he's still emailing me by tomorrow asking where this money is, I'll have to give him a story then try to set up the in person meeting. Anyone in the Ohio want to make a few bucks?
You need to find a cop in Ohio to play that part. That would be super funny. Dude getting arrested for fraud would be the cat's meow!

- AppleNova is the best Mac-users forum on the internet. We are smart, educated, capable, and helpful. We are also loaded with smart-alecks! :)
- Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. (Mat 5:9)
  quote
alcimedes
I shot the sherrif.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Send a message via ICQ to alcimedes  
2011-06-24, 07:48

lymph nodes swelling like horse cocks. wow.

they say poetry is dead.
  quote
murbot
Hoonigan
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2011-07-03, 13:05

This is getting pretty serious. I guess this person was legit after all, and he's reported me to the FBI. This could end very badly for me. I'm regretting all the joking around with this guy. Read this over for me and see what you think while I try to get a lawyer:

  quote
Ryan
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Promise Land of Trustafarians
 
2011-07-03, 13:10

Totally legit. Be afraid.

  quote
turtle
Lord of the Rant.
Formerly turtle2472
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Upstate South Carolina
 
2011-07-03, 13:45

I had no idea that PayPal worked so closely with the FBI!
  quote
drewprops
Space Pirate
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2011-07-03, 13:56

You know, I think you SHOULD comply with them and call the FBI on this matter.


...
  quote
Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2011-07-03, 14:06

Wait a minute...


Zoom in and enhance!






Mulder is on the case?

Oh crap, MURBOT IS AN ALIEN.

The quality of this board depends on the quality of the posts. The only way to guarantee thoughtful, informative discussion is to write thoughtful, informative posts. AppleNova is not a real-time chat forum. You have time to compose messages and edit them before and after posting.
  quote
billybobsky
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Inner Swabia. If you have to ask twice, don't.
 
2011-07-03, 14:33

Um...

That's hard core and you should definitely report this to the Mounties (or your provisional police force)...
  quote
curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2011-07-03, 18:07

Quote:
Originally Posted by billybobsky View Post
Um...

That's hard core and you should definitely report this to the Mounties (or your provisional police force)...
And the Grammar Bureau of Investigation

Funny Stuff Murbot
  quote
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