[drewprops]

What exactly is the appeal of Facebook? I mean psychologically. Why is it that people repeatedly update the site, just to see what new things their friends have written? I've felt the attraction myself, but when I back up and look at it sideways it just smells like a great big old time-sink.

Am I correct in my assumption that it's all about sex and the possibility of sex?

Seriously, I'm banking on sex.

[Swox]

My experience has been that it's all about social drama. Maybe other people are hooking up on it, but most of it seemed to me like attention seeking and stalking.

[Luca]

Originally Posted by Swox My experience has been that it's all about social drama. Maybe other people are hooking up on it, but most of it seemed to me like attention seeking and stalking.

This.

Not sex. Unfortunately.

[709]

I signed up a year or so ago just to see a friend's pics, but that was the last time I was near the thing. I wouldn't be able to remember my login info to save my life. Same with MySpace. I have an account, but it's only rarely used to check out a band's pics or the notes section.

I don't understand the attraction to these types of things, honestly. I spend enough time on the fucking internet without making it an indispensable part of my lifestyle.

[alcimedes]

The weird thing is, I find a place like AN much more relaxing to stop by and read than Facebook. That thing is a constant barrage of annoying shit being sent to you. Someone wants me to play Scramble, So and so is in a mob, join me! Someone gave you super powers, fight back now!

WTF.

It's like a website of goddamn spam without the accompanying hilarious subject lines or porn images. Fuck that.

[709]

Which site is the one where you can "poke" someone else (without being introduced first)? What does that do exactly? It sounds creepy and deliciously perverted and the same time.

[iFerret]

I think that's Facebook, and I don't buy into that poking crap.
Unless there's actual proper poking going on, then it's just a waste of time.

[rasmits]

Because 99% of the internet using public still doesn't know what RSS is nor do they have the ability to comprehend a "personal website".

Seriously, I've made my own website before. Multiple times. Nice, good looking sites with regularly updated pictures, a little "blog" of sorts, misc info. A nice way to keep everyone updated. Yet I had to keep sending the address out to my friends, I had to keep linking to my pictures, I had to do everything at least a million times because no one could keep track of it. Facebook keeps everyone's friends in one list, with an easy feed of updated information.

Yes, I feel like a bit of a tool having a damn "Facebook" but at least I don't have any trouble with it.

[Robo]

Originally Posted by rasmits Because 99% of the internet using public still doesn't know what RSS is nor do they have the ability to comprehend a "personal website". Seriously, I've made my own website before. Multiple times. Nice, good looking sites with regularly updated pictures, a little "blog" of sorts, misc info. A nice way to keep everyone updated. Yet I had to keep sending the address out to my friends, I had to keep linking to my pictures, I had to do everything at least a million times because no one could keep track of it. Facebook keeps everyone's friends in one list, with an easy feed of updated information. Yes, I feel like a bit of a tool having a damn "Facebook" but at least I don't have any trouble with it.

Oh totally.

I had this conversation about three thousand times over the past few years.

"Hey, do you have a MySpace/Facebook/Blah?"

"No."

*shocked look* "But you're on the computer, like, all the time! Why don't you have a MySpace/Facebook/Blah?"

"I don't need one. I have a site already."

"What?"

"I have my own site."

"You mean, like, not on MySpace/Facebook/Blah? A real site?" (This is usually followed by a confused expression, like the only people that have "real" sites are celebrities, or those who think they are.)

"Yup. It's at [url]."

*after a pause* "...well, you should still get a MySpace/Facebook/Blah, so that I can friend you."

At this point, I'm tempted to say "We're friends in real life. Why do you need a website to validate our friendship?" but never do.

I did eventually get a Myspace, but I haven't logged on in about two years.

[psmith2.0]

I don't fool with any of that crap. I had a MySpace account a while back, for a short time, just so I could see some friend's photos. But a) they weren't all that interesting after a while and b) the nuttiness and idiocy you encounter just isn't worth it...spam, etc.

[Satchmo]

I honestly think it's a generational thing. How many of you are under the age of say 30?

I'm guessing older folks actually have a life, responsibilities, and little trivial things like what their buddy is doing at this particular moment don't really matter in the whole scheme of things.

[psmith2.0]

I don't know. Even when I was 20 I didn't care why my buddies were doing at any particular moment.

Might be "generational", but I think it's just different, changing times (and the availability of things that weren't in place before). I know plenty of 30- and 40-somethings on this stuff.

There is a unifying trait running through it all...this stuff just makes it easy for extroverts and social bees to do it easier. I suspect that the kind of person who could walk into a big party and hob-knob with and glad-hand everyone is the same type who'd feel right at home on these sites.



People like me, who lean against the wall or find a comfy chair or stool, drink in hand, and are happier just people-watching and taking it all in from a distance, probably aren't.

Probably more "personality" than generational. We just didn't have this stuff 20 years ago when I was 19, but I'd probably be the same way: I've got my friends and I see/talk to them enough in real life; I don't need to do it via sites, for everyone else to see or know. As for all the strangers I've added to my friends list (or whatever it's called), who cares? Why do I want some chick (or guy) I don't know from Oregon or wherever wishing me a "happy weekend" or telling me how much I "rock" all the time? That's about all I see in those messages anyway, so what's the point?



A true, legit friend (someone you actually know and care about, and vice versa) is going to call or send me a direct, private e-mail anyway to ask about my weekend or tell me how cool I am , right? Why do I need to play all this interaction out in public? Drew mentioned "validation" earlier, and that's what it sometimes seems like.

"It's, like, important to me that complete strangers see that I have 612 'friends', even though I don't know 603 of them; and those 603 don't give two damns about me and wouldn't know me if they tripped over me...".

Yeah, it's "generational" in that I don't get it and I wonder what the hell is wrong with some people.

[Yonzie]

For me, Facebook = finding people I went to school with 10 years ago, etc.

[babyb]

Humans crave interaction. It makes us happy to love and be loved, to touch and be touched. Facebook/myspace/blogger/<insert website here>type sites are merely extensions of that will.

[Wrao]

You guys are a bunch of dweebs.

[psmith2.0]

You're posting on an Internet message board to tell us that.

[Luca]

Originally Posted by Wrao You guys are a bunch of dweebs.

Haha, no kidding.

Guess what? It's possible to be somewhere in the middle. I use Facebook primarily to connect with people, make plans, etc. I don't live on Facebook or send people stupid app requests. I mainly use it to see what my friends are up to and to keep in touch with my friends who live far away.

Don't have Myspace though. Can't stand that site. It's just so slow and poorly designed. Not that Facebook is the paragon of good web design, but it's still way better than Myspace.

[Banana]

Originally Posted by drewprops Am I correct in my assumption that it's all about sex and the possibility of sex?

Freuds would be so proud.


You know, despite the hand-waving they may to justify that this has nothing to do with sexuality, I wouldn't be too surprised if it was the case.

I mean, they have this relationship thingy out there. "Hey! I'm single! The field's wide open! Anytime!" or "Well, it's complicated.... You see, it's hot and very hormonal but in morning after.... GAHHH!!"

There was a writer in my college paper who used to complain how she would get hit on guys at random bar, initially thinking they were the right guy only to find that the guy had gleaned all info from her facebook page. The thing was, she didn't close up her facebook after that incident. Rather, it *repeated*. Freuds would want to say that she is a horndog wanting to get it on but feels conflicted because she is basically accessorizing her "Mr. Right" at bars or something like that.

Then consider when a new relationship is made. I'm sure it's a big news in Facebook; once you go from single to dating, you get flooded with comments and whatnots.


So, yes, it's all about sex. Has to be.

[Luca]

It's less about finding sex as it is about talking about the drama that results from sex.

The key word here is drama. I have friends who live for that shit.

[Banana]

Originally Posted by Luca It's less about finding sex as it is about talking about the drama that results from sex. The key word here is drama. I have friends who live for that shit.

Fair point.

But that doesn't exactly divorce Facebook from sex, does it?

[Kraetos]

Originally Posted by drewprops Seriously, I'm banking on sex.

I've gotten laid via Facebook.

That is all.

[Banana]

Ladies and Gentleman,

and thus Drewprops Theorem stands proved.


Drewdrops, clear your schedule and get a ticket to Stockholm for next Nobel prize conference.

[psmith2.0]

I agree. Like Luca, I have a few acquaintances (I hesitate to use the "f" word with them) who just seem to wallow in that stuff, perpetually stirring up the drama and crisis, one after another. The bulk of them are a skootch on the young/bubbleheaded side, but I know a couple of 30- and 40-somethings who seem be this way. Hopped-up on too much "Sex in the City" and Oprah/confessional culture, they just love airing their personal crap and drama for all to see.

It's weird.



"Have a little grace and decorum, folks...we don't really need to know about every knob you've shined (or are currently targeting), and the whole thought process that goes into it."

Guys do the same thing, of course. But you kinda expect it from them (and you gotta figure 45% is complete bullcrap, being guys and all).

[Luca]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 I agree. Like Luca, I have a few acquaintances (I hesitate to use the "f" word with them) who just seem to wallow in that stuff, perpetually stirring up the drama and crisis, one after another. The bulk of them are a skootch on the young/bubbleheaded side, but I know a couple of 30- and 40-somethings who seem be this way. Hopped-up on too much "Sex in the City" and Oprah/confessional culture, they just love airing their personal crap and drama for all to see. It's weird.

I have a friend (male) who's attending the Culinary Institute of America in New York. Being a cooking school student, he absolutely thrives on drama. Guy's a nutcase. Also the most self-centered person I've ever met, but still a fun guy to hang out with. Sometimes. He can make or break an evening depending on whether he decides to cut loose and have fun or really emo it up and ruin everything for everyone.

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 Guys do the same thing, of course. But you kinda expect it from them (and you gotta figure 45% is complete bullcrap, being guys and all).

Haha, I believe women lie much more about their sex lives than men. Men may embellish, which is still lying, but women flat-out deny much of what they do in the bedroom (depends on the woman, of course). And that's not just my opinion, it's supported by a study!

http://www.washtimes.com/news/2003/j...-114921-5957r/

The women reported an average of 2.6 partners when told they would be handing their surveys to an assistant and 3.4 partners when assured of confidentiality. Men reported an average of 3.7 and 4.2 partners, respectively. When attached to the fake polygraph, women reported an average of 4.4 partners. Men reported an average of four.

[psmith2.0]

Originally Posted by Luca I have a friend (male) who's attending the Culinary Institute of America in New York. Being a cooking school student, he absolutely thrives on drama.

He sounds like one of those people on that Food Network "So You Wanna Be an Unlikable Douchenozzle Chef" competition show or that "Hell's Kitchen" show on Fox.

Does he cry a lot over the silliest things (his cake fell or the icing was the wrong shade of white), and call everyone "bitch"? And does he carry his own "f-word" bleeper around, by chance?

BTW, I'm not sure whose idea it was to put all these aspiring asshat chefs, fashion designers, runway models, interior decorators and hairstylists on TV (Food Network, Bravo!, HGTV, etc.) and make them carry on and act like complete drama queen a-holes to each other (and poison the well of any future potential clients or employers), but that was really good thinking...I certainly know who NOT to call any time I need one of these services or talents.



"So, have you ever appeared on any of these 'unscripted competition' shows on TV?"

"Yes, I was on the second sea..."

"Okay, bye."

[evan]

facebook has helped immensely with the transition from high school to college, makes keeping in touch with everyone I know all that much easier. I don't mess with the apps or anything.

[Wrao]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 You're posting on an Internet message board to tell us that.

I think you misunderstood my comment. The dweeby thing is when you get a bunch of people talking about the function and purpose of a social networking site, and doing so from a message board. I am pro-social networking, there is no disconnect when I use a message board, facebook, email, or a blog to communicate. The dweebiness comes from this picking and choosing, validating, and invalidating, justifying and rationalizing the various different mediums that are available.... on a message board.

[Kraetos]

In seriousness...

Facebook is there to help the less technically savvy get the most out of the modern web. Sure, most of us here are capable of setting up blogs and then giving each other the RSS links to keep up, but that's beyond the majority of Facebook users.

Nothing anyone does on Facebook wouldn't be better suited to a network of blogs/flickr/twitter. But most people don't have a blog/flickr/twitter, so Facebook does pretty well in their stead.

Not to mention, it's a lot easer to find someone's Facebook than it is to find their blog. So even if everyone in the world had the know-how and incentive to use blogs and an RSS reader, they wouldn't be able to find each other nearly as easily as they can on Facebook.

So there you have it: Facebook does what would be better suited for networked blogging, but makes it easier, at the expense of flexibility. Don't act so surprised - lots of things are popular because they emphasize ease-of-use over features.

But I'm also fairly certain I'd never have gotten laid through my blog.

[Capella]

It's not a generational thing to not get the point of being on Facebook all the time- I'm 19, right in the target age, and I just don't get it. I generally keep up with my good friends through in-person contact, email, IM, phone, and LiveJournal posts.

I have a Facebook and I occasionally update my Facebook, but it's really there as a source of contact information. I have some acquaintances from school (mostly people in my majors who have been in my classes and we helped each other out a lot) who I've friended. We don't always talk, but if I need their contact info, I can check their Facebook and find it, and they can do the same with mine. I don't get the attraction of constantly spending time there. As for applications, they're just completely ridiculous. The constant invites to eight billion different random pointless things drives me nuts and is a major factor in why I only use it when I need it.

[kieran]

Nothing really to add here, but I thought I'd mention that it is possible to completely disable all "requests" for applications and such.

It makes Facebook a lot nicer to use.