[Sir Mac o' the Isles]

Brithers and Sisters,

It has been some time since I had cause tae write, either in admonition or warning, but I feel I must alert ye (yet again) tae the grave perils inherent in technologiocal advance.

I know that ye have here on these very fora, maist - if not all - o' the finest minds on the planet, spending days and months gravitating and pondering add-ons here, bells and whistles there, and tucking wee particle accelerators in next tae the disk drives.

But behold...

http://www.risk-evaluation-forum.org/luisada1.htm

(I hope this bluidy link works as I am notoriously inept wi' a ' this internet havers)

Beware Miniature Black Holes! Resist the temptation tae boost your performance wi' Strangelet generators!

There! I hae warned ye - the safety o' the very universe is noo in your haunds!

Yours maist sincerely,


Sir Mac, etc, etc

[Brad]

OMG, he's here! Welcome to AppleNova, Sir Mac! It's been a long time since we've seen you and I'm glad you've found your way here.

I remember reading an article about these experiments some time last month, but it dumbed-down the specifics for a broader audience and was, of course, a bit less alarmist. Thanks for the link. I'll have to mull over it for a bit...

[Kickaha]

Coooooooooooool.

[Moogs]

There's none like him, that's for sure. Glad to see you, SMotI!

As for MBH, one wonders what amoung of time would have to pass before the earth begins to implode in earnest. I might also be scared of monopoles if I knew what they hell they were. Sort of like a viscious mutant tadpole maybe?

[Sir Mac o' the Isles]

As ever ye are all uncommonly gracious. Thankyou. As ye may know I hae been away putting an end tae global evil for the past wee while, so I've no' been posting much. But there ye go - just when ye think ye've got it all under control a bunch o' crazed scientists waving particle accelerators, erupts frae the foliage like anither hydra's heid.

[Wickers]

Nice to meet you, Sir Mac, it's refreshing to read your style of writing.

Did we meet at AI.com? Or you know the bunch of us from some other connection?

[709]

I raise a pint te ye Sir Mac.

Good to see you.


I've know about these experiments for a while, and it does indeed keep me up at night. I've been on a Mayan kick lately, and their calendar inexplicably ending gives me pause. This is one of the things I have on my list.

[thuh Freak]

yea, he's from AI. i used to think he was an alter ego of one of the regulars; but he maintains the brogue very well. no matter what he says, it's always interesting.

[atomicbartbeans]

Solution: build it on the moon.

Nobody would care if the moon was nuked.

[Wickers]

Well I do think a few people would care...

And if the moon just blew up, we would see the effects all over the world.

Millions of moths would be lost...
The tide would stop...
I bet most of the moon would come crashing down to eart too...
The rest would be in orbit, making problems for space travel...

[Sir Mac o' the Isles]

Mr Wickers. Mr Thuh Freak, Mr 709, Moogs, Brad, Kick,et al...

How nice tae meet ye's all again. Raither like having passed ower, gone tae paradise and meeting all one's auld earthly acquaintances, dont ye think? Yes - I was on AI for monys a long year and I am naebody's alter ego.... although I will let ye intae a wee secret. Whisper it! My knighthood isnae official yet. Her Majesty tells me it's stilll in the post.

[Brad]

Ah, then your secret is safe with us.

[Hassan i Sabbah]

Sir Mac.

Until this moment I didn't realise quite how much I missed you.

[Sir Mac o' the Isles]

Hassan! How are ye? Are ye still at the poetry there? I trust that your creative quill is still dripping wi' the ink o' ageless wisdom.

My guidness; so mony long-lost friends! I can ony surmise the auld world must've indeed been hit by an asteroid (or monopole, see above) and everybody's been catapulted here tae bliss everafter in the great beyond.

(I dinnae like tae ask this of ye's all, but -ahem- ye havnae seen hide or hair o' Kate here in paradise have ye? Dinnae tell me she's gone tae "the ither place".)

[Powerdoc]

It's nice to see you again Sir mac, I was afraid that you where caught and stuck in one of this silly miniature black hole.

I don't know how you manage to escape from it , but I am glad you suceed in that chilverish and magnificiant task.

[billybobsky]

I have always had a question for Sir Mac...

If I were to call you on the phone, would you sound like you write?

I mean to say, your posts are exquisite but I think it would be tiresome to keep that accent up at all times...

[groverat]

I'm sure it comes naturally. You should hear my grandfather talk. You would think producing that much drawl would wear a man out, but he keeps on keeping on.

[Moogs]

Monopoles...

In particle theory, a magnetic monopole arises from a topological glitch in the vacuum configuration of gauge fields in a Grand Unified Theory or other gauge unification scenario. The length scale over which this special vacuum configuration exists is called the correlation length of the system. A correlation length cannot be larger than causality would allow, therefore the correlation length for making magnetic monopoles must be at least as big as the horizon size determined by the metric of the expanding Universe. According to that logic, there should be at least one magnetic monopole per horizon volume as it was when the symmetry breaking took place. This creates a problem, because it predicts that the monopole density today should be about 1011 times the critical density of our Universe, according to the Big Bang model. But so far, physicists have been unable to find even one. Also, the Universe appears to be close to its critical density - for all matter combined.

...it's all so clear to me now! How could I have missed such an obvious threat to terra firma? We can only hope Homeland Security is on the case, so that terrorists do not get a hold of any wily monopoles and spring them on us during the upcoming Memorial Day festivities. Sure, it's a threat to them too, but we get the ass-end of some devil-magnet, while they get to hang out with 72 golfing virgins.

The mere thought of monopoles should raise the alert color to chartreuse (at a minimum).

[thuh Freak]

the way my physics teacher told it, a monopole is kind of like a magnet. a magnet typically has two ends, one positive and one negative (can't remember if he called a magnet a dipole or a bipole). a monopole has two same-charged sides, and no oppositely charged side. Cutting a normal magnet won't create a monopole, because the freshly cut side is oppositely charged from the non-freshly cut side (effectively, two smaller d/bipoles).

[Moogs]

Yes, thank you. My big question for the day: supposing a monopole was created at CERN... what would happen to the earth or any of its inhabitants that we should be worried about?

[Sir Mac o' the Isles]

Ahh - I can see an alternative technical explanantion is required here.

Weel - monopoles occur when one particle corners the market tae the exclusion o' all others, thus driving oot competition and stifling choice. In the UK we hae the Monopoles and Mergers Commission wha's job it is tae investigate such amalgamations and shut them doon afore global domination occurs.

[scratt]

Does all tend to explain why we never meet any other 'alien' civilisations..

It is true that sooner or later reasonably intelligent beings simply invent something without thinking through the consequences and then blink out of existence!

Probably for the best in the end.. We'd only find more creatures in space to make extinct alongside the creatures we wipe out on our own planet.

[Moogs]

Sir Mac,

Can a lowly non-Briton like myself join the MMC to help stomp out monopoles everywhere? This sounds like an exciting career change possibility. I mean who else at the fancy dinner will be able to pipe up and say "Yes well... I track down and eliminate monopoles you see... very complicated stuff. Hush-hush and all that."?

There's a Monty Python skit waiting to be born here, somewhere. :smokey:

[kretara]

God, I feel like I've fallen into a Robert Adams book whenever I read a post by Sir Mac.

[Sir Mac o' the Isles]

My dear Mr Moogs...

Pray, dinnae put yersel' in such danger. This MMC is a highly clandestine and ruthless group wha'll stop at nothing in their pursuit o' their deadly quarry, even subtly changing the spelling o' their organisation's name tae disguise their true agenda. Still - if ye wad tae learn mare aboot this shadowy organisation...


http://www.legislation.hmso.gov.uk/s...90122_en_1.htm


ps. I hae jist learned that the MMC has apparently been dissolved. QED! This is a career fraught wi' peril!

http://www.hmso.gov.uk/acts/acts1998/80041--f.htm (para 3)

[Moogs]

Indeed. Suddenly I yearn for a life of solitude, free from the bonds of hypothetical sub-atomic particles. Maybe there's a Strangelet commision that needs a Photoshop wonk to provide artists' renderings of this paritcular beast in its native environment.

[billybobsky]

And here I was joking about putting a maquette into a buckey-tube and not knowing whether it had an electron transfer event... ala Schrodinger's cat...

[Moogs]

Totally.