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Having Cancer
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drewprops
Bastard
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2009-05-01, 09:54

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trumpetman View Post
Good luck Drew and address this stuff quick man. Don't put off stuff on this matter. The water bill can wait.
But what if it's a *particularly* magnificent water bill??




...
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Trumpetman
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Galt's Gulch
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2009-05-01, 10:06

Were you playing pirates in the backyard again?
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Luca
ಠ_ರೃ
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
 
2009-05-01, 10:59

Interesting that this thread got bumped now. My dad just went through a prostate cancer ordeal about a month ago. They caught it early and he got his prostate removed and he says he's already pretty much back to normal. Obviously after the surgery he had some pain and discomfort, not only from the surgery but also from the tube they stuck in his pee-hole, but within a couple weeks he was fine. It was scary at first but honestly, prostate cancer is probably the best kind of cancer you can hope to get.
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drewprops
Bastard
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2009-05-01, 13:18

I have to say that I am **not** looking forward to having a catheter stuck up my pee-hole for a couple of weeks, but it's necessary. The urethra runs straight through the prostate, so when the prostate is removed that section of the urethra is removed, meaning that the surgeon has to "line up" the upper part of the urethra with the lower part of the urethra.

The bladder helps out by slipping downward, closer to the lower section of urethra, so all the surgeon needs is a solid internal bracing... ta-da!! ...the catheter does the trick, allowing the two sections of urethra support as they stitch back together.

Want to try this with me?


...

Steve Jobs ate my cat's watermelon.
Captain Drew on Twitter
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Hassan i Sabbah
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: london and københavn
 
2009-05-01, 13:23

I do.

I want to try this with you, very much.

However, I do not have a cancer.

Will this be a problem?
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Luca
ಠ_ರೃ
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
 
2009-05-01, 13:24

My dad said that the catheter didn't really hurt, it was just annoying and uncomfortable. He was out cold when they put it in.
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bassplayinMacFiend
Banging the Bottom End
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
 
2009-05-01, 13:40

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luca View Post
My dad said that the catheter didn't really hurt, it was just annoying and uncomfortable. He was out cold when they put it in.
That's good. It really sucks to get catheterized when you're wide awake. Trust me.
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drewprops
Bastard
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2009-05-01, 14:07

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hassan i Sabbah View Post
I do.

I want to try this with you, very much.

However, I do not have a cancer.

Will this be a problem?

Tell you what....
On the day of the surgery maybe you all could attempt to insert something into your pee-pee holes in solidarity with me? We could call it AppleNova Insertion Day and you could all share your experiences at the attempt. I'll log back in and check to see how it went for you folks, guys AND gals, when I get back from the hospital... extra points if you're able to talk a doctor into installing a catheter all the way...


...

Steve Jobs ate my cat's watermelon.
Captain Drew on Twitter
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MBHockey
skates=grafs
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: New York
 
2009-05-01, 14:11

drew, sorry to hear about your ordeal. But it sounds like it's been nothing but good news since the initial diagnosis. Good luck with your surgery, and hope for a hot nurse (when my uncle got a vasectomy he said more young women touched him in his special place over a three day period than in his entire life, haha).

The catheter will undoubtedly suck, but consider yourself lucky they caught it early
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Hassan i Sabbah
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: london and københavn
 
2009-05-01, 14:17

Quote:
drew:Tell you what....
On the day of the surgery maybe you all could attempt to insert something into your pee-pee holes in solidarity with me? We could call it AppleNova Insertion Day and you could all share your experiences at the attempt. I'll log back in and check to see how it went for you folks, guys AND gals, when I get back from the hospital... extra points if you're able to talk a doctor into installing a catheter all the way...
I'm in.

I've had the tennis racket-shaped loop inserted into my pee-pee hole at the Genito-Urinary Medicine clinic when I went to get my genital war... I mean, when I went to get a check up (yes, that's it), and that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

So I have some experience with pee-pee hole insertion tribulations. I think it's probably just a question of really getting something up there, you know? Hey ho and hang it all! IN YOU GO.

gibberish
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Bryson
Rocket Surgeon
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Whitby
 
2009-05-01, 14:17

Is there an option for robot ape/alien laser bunghole surgery? Because that would make for a tale worth telling.
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Fahrenheit
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
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2009-05-01, 15:02

Quote:
The Da Vinci surgical "robot" is still relatively new on the scene and I had been kind of hesitant to even investigate that route. But this friend has been an architect in the medical profession going on 20 years and has watched the technology come along, and had a colleague who'd recently had that "robotic" surgery and was an evangelist for the method.
Peter Griffin: WHY AREN'T WE FUNDING THIS!?!
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ezkcdude
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
 
2009-05-01, 15:18

I've owned stock in Intuitive Surgical (the maker of Da Vinci) for about a decade now. I started following the company as a grad student when I saw one of the early prototypes of one of their competitors at the time (Computer Motion), who ISRG would later swallow up. ISRG stock took a beating the last year or so, but it's coming back now.
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ronmexico
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
 
2009-05-01, 16:38

drewprops...good luck on your surgery!

I don't think this story is very reassuring, but it is funny...it took place in a teaching hospital, so this shouldn't be anywhere near your experience.

When I was doing my oral surgery rotations, dental students were required to observe and assist during facial reconstruction procedures that took many hours in the OR. Of course, during a surgery that was an all day procedure, most patients are catheterized and the oral surgery residents would often pick the most squeamish girls to grab the man's penis to slide the tubing in. I happened to be in on a day when a very well endowed black man was being prepped...and the girl thought she needed the largest tube to accommodate this man's urethra...but she chose poorly. She got the tube about 1 cm into his tip when he started to bleed. He was on Coumadin and his bleeding was substantial, not harmful, but excessive. Of course the girl felt terrible and humiliated. The surgeons were giving her a hard time telling her he is going to wonder why his penis hurts as much as his face when he wakes up.
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crazychester
Dick in the Abstentia, The
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2009-05-01, 16:57

Well I haven't read all the responses but seeing as you said no tippy toeing......

Damn you drew for fucking around for 2 months in denial and doing nothing!!!!! You dumb stupid bloody fool. Damn you, damn you, damn you. When there was no update, I've been assuming the worst and thinking about PMing you, but not wanting to pry, and all the time, you've been doing NOTHING, not a goddamn sweet fucking thing about it. Which is what I'd have said in the abusive PM if I'd known the truth.

Whew.

There I got it out. Now I'm not mad at you anymore for being such a dill. You obviously haven't been wearing your koala ears. Now *please* do what you have to do. You ain't going to be awake for the worst of it. Babe, women have to get instruments regularly shoved up their whats-its most of their adult lives.

Really I don't think the actual procedural bit is going to be as bad as you expect. OTOH if you're satisfied you've lived as long as you need to proceed in denial. But if you think you might have quite a bit more to do (and personally, I think you do), please just bite the bullet.
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Freewell
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
 
2009-05-01, 17:07

Drew, This is very disturbing. I am soo glad that you caught it NOW... If I am not mistaken, of all the cancers, this is one of the MOST curable, when caught early! Please keep us 'in the know'.

Oh, and Captain Drew could NEVER be un-cool... It's just not possible!!!
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thegelding
feeling my oats
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: there are nice people here...that makes me happy
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2009-05-01, 17:27

there has got to be an easier way to lose 20 grams of weight drew

good luck, stop pussy footing around, write again sooner, let us know all the fun catheter details...don't let them remove it til they deflate the balloon on the end...if they try and remove it with the balloon inflated your eyes do that funny thing that arnold did at the end of Total Recall.

take care

g


crazy is not a rare human condition

everything is food if you chew hard enough
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2009-05-01, 18:42

I have to say I felt a little bit like Crazy Chester when I read you'd done nothing over the last two months. Get on with it, you f-ing loonatic pirate. What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation from the Mayo Clinic or something? Get those little bastard cells OUT of you... OUT, OUT, OUT damn spots!

...and no, I will not stick anything up my pee-hole to commemorate your laser-ape surgery. Instead Hassan will stick whatever contraption he's using twice as far up his urethra, so the net effect is the same. Let me know how it goes Hassan, so I can report back to Drew.

...into the light of a dark black night.
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thegeriatric
geri to my friends
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Heaven
 
2009-05-01, 18:54

Best of luck Drew, go get it fixed and stop pissing about.........Oh wait a mo
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drewprops
Bastard
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2009-05-01, 23:34

Thanks everybody!!!

(ladies, you should go easy with the urethra big)



...
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murbot
Mammogram Tech
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
 
2009-05-01, 23:37

Hope things work out for you, big guy. Now get your ass in to that doctor.

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Swox
OK Mr. Sunshine!
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Toronto
 
2009-05-02, 00:19

You know why women live longer on average then men? Because men do shit like putting off going to the doctor and getting things taken care of!!!

Best wishes to you for a successful surgery and quick recovery!

Do not be oppressed by the forces of ignorance and delusion! But rise up now with resolve and courage! Entranced by ignorance, from beginningless time until now, You have had more than enough time to sleep. So do not slumber any longer, but strive after virtue with body, speech, and mind!
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AWR
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: State of Flux
 
2009-05-02, 03:35

Thanks for the update, Drew. All the best for a speedy recovery.
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Chinney
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ottawa, ON
 
2009-05-02, 09:15

Go to it Drew. We're cheering for you.

And don't worry about the catheter. I've had it done while awake - and worse (stent removal) - for my kidney stones. It's nothing to look forward to - but really not all that bad either.

When there's an eel in the lake that's as long as a snake that's a moray.
  quote
zsummers
Avast!
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New York?
 
2009-05-02, 19:06

Quote:
Originally Posted by drewprops View Post
Tell you what....
On the day of the surgery maybe you all could attempt to insert something into your pee-pee holes in solidarity with me? We could call it AppleNova Insertion Day and you could all share your experiences at the attempt. I'll log back in and check to see how it went for you folks, guys AND gals, when I get back from the hospital... extra points if you're able to talk a doctor into installing a catheter all the way...


...
I'm in, but only if it's a Saturday night. That's my kind of party.

Now go get better, you magnificent bastard.
  quote
709
¡Damned!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
 
2009-05-02, 19:38

EEP.

I love you, Drew, but I don't know if I'll be jamming anything up my cock in your honor just yet.

How about if I lay prostrate for a couple hours in solidarity? That's gotta be close, right? What's an "r" between friends? Right, buddy? Right?

Right?




I really don't want to jam anything up my pee-hole.

So it goes.
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drewprops
Bastard
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2009-05-02, 20:43



I'll kick anybody's ass who DOES jam something up their pee-hole without provocation. A better way of showing solidarity is to begin having your prostate exam in your mid/late 30's or early 40s at the very latest.

You girls have to email me pictures of your bums.

Okay, that's it.




...

Steve Jobs ate my cat's watermelon.
Captain Drew on Twitter
  quote
Freewell
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
 
2009-05-02, 20:46

Hmm... Well, I'm fresh out of the appropriate plumbing required to truly participate in this charming little ritualistic honorarium, but how 'bout if I go get myself knocked up, then shove some 8 or 9 lb mass of bones, flesh and accompanying wrapping materials out the opposite direction?! Will that do?!? I can still do the whole catheter thing as well!!!





Man... The things I do for you guys!!
  quote
thegeriatric
geri to my friends
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Heaven
 
2009-05-02, 20:49

Quote:
Originally Posted by drewprops View Post
You girls have to email me pictures of your bums.

Okay, that's it.
...
Psssssst........Don't forget to forward emails to me to...................
  quote
thegeriatric
geri to my friends
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Heaven
 
2009-05-02, 20:50

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freewell View Post
Hmm... Well, I'm fresh out of the appropriate plumbing required to truly participate in this charming little ritualistic honorarium, but how 'bout if I go get myself knocked up, then shove some 8 or 9 lb mass of bones, flesh and accompanying wrapping materials out the opposite direction?! Will that do?!? I can still do the whole catheter thing as well!!!





Man... The things I do for you guys!!
Yuk....................
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