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So...anyone gonna watch Woz dance tonight?


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So...anyone gonna watch Woz dance tonight?
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2009-03-09, 13:25



I know I won't be able to resist a quick peek (even though I despise all these idiotic "unscripted competition" shows).

I can't see how this will be anything good. But in the same way I would not be able to turn away from a Lear jet smashing into an Amtrak commuter train passing through Disneyland, I know my morbid curiosity will get the best of me.



I was just looking at ABC's site, looking at all the other "celebrity" contestants. Holy crap...I guess this is where you go when the album sales, movie roles and general "famous for no discernible reason" opportunities start drying up?

Belinda Carlisle, Denise Richards and Steve-O...

Really?

But yeah...Steve Wozniak, dancing.

I imagine there will a higher-than-usual turn-out from the geek/Apple sector? And probably a higher-than-usual iPhone-based voting too...



"To vote for Steve Wozniak, text 1-800..."
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bassplayinMacFiend
Banging the Bottom End
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
 
2009-03-09, 13:29

I'm waiting for Joaquin Phoenix's failed music career to land him on this show.

Before


After
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2009-03-09, 13:34

He'd just claim it was a "joke" all along (nice back-up story to have, once everyone realizes what a flaming goofball he's become).
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bassplayinMacFiend
Banging the Bottom End
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
 
2009-03-09, 13:42

I personally liked his porn-store cashier role in 8mm myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 8mm
Tom Welles: What're you reading?
[Max California shows book - "Anal Secretary"]
Tom Welles: Catchy title. What are you really reading? Hard to believe that book's got any parts worth highlighting.
[Max California reveals real book - "In Cold Blood"]
Tom Welles: Capote!
Max California: Yeah, well. You know how it is.
Tom Welles: Yeah. Wouldn't want to embarrass yourself in front of your fellow perverts.
Max California: That's right. I might get drummed out of the Pornographer's Union. Where would I be then?
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Wyatt
On twitter: @bwyatt
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Near Indianapolis
 
2009-03-09, 13:50

I'll be watching Woz on YouTube tomorrow, but I won't waste my time on this show. I have other meaningless drivel to watch.
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bassplayinMacFiend
Banging the Bottom End
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
 
2009-03-09, 13:56

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wyatt View Post
I'll be watching Woz on YouTube tomorrow, but I won't waste my time on this show. I have other meaningless drivel to watch.
Yea! Heroes @ 24 are on tonight. Gotta clear up some DVR space before 9PM.
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Maciej
M AH - ch ain saw
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2009-03-09, 14:56

Heroes makes me angry. The show just keeps getting worse.

I recently got into House, I'm looking forward to that. A lot.
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2009-03-09, 18:06

Two people had to leave the show already and were replaced apparently... don't know who, but I'll be watching this horror show, as it is the one chic show my wife loves that she insist I watch with her.

...into the light of a dark black night.
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kieran
Tweeting @kierankelly
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: New York City
 
2009-03-09, 18:16

Jewel and Nancy O'Dell are out

Don't even ask why I looked that up.
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2009-03-09, 19:05



The show kicks off on a cool, high note!

Lil' Kim: "The first time I ever saw 'Dancing with the Stars' was when I was in prison."



Well, bless your heart.



I guess you had to see it...the natural, matter-of-fact way it came out was funny (and with a pic shown of her in an orange jumpsuit).

Oooh...and she just dedicated her first dance to "all my girls" in the Riker's Island federal detention system. Class all the way, sweetpea.

This shit hasn't been on for five minutes and I've already gotten two good laughs. That's more than I can say for any funny-on-purpose sitcom on ABC. Good going, guys!

BTW, these women (Lil' Kim and Belinda Carlisle) need to really lay off the "cosmetic procedures". Holy hell. And all of them need to step away from the Carrot 5000 Tan-O-Matic machine.

It's like a stage full of Oompah-Loompahs. Everyone's orange.



Woz is all smiles, everytime he's shown. He's not danced yet.

Why in the hell am I watching this?

Last edited by pscates2.0 : 2009-03-09 at 19:19.
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2009-03-09, 20:08

4x Playboy girl in the mix as a replacement...

Nice. I've seen better but her bod is pretty smokin. I give it a week before there are r-rated web spoofs floating around.

...into the light of a dark black night.
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2009-03-09, 20:15

She's actually kinda pretty, and I never really thought so until tonight. If she lost that platinum, pornstar hair and orange tan, I'd probably have a thing for her. She's got a strong, pretty face. She looks older than she probably really is. But that kinda works for me...



She'd look good done up as a 40's Vargas pinup vixen.

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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2009-03-09, 20:25

Dear Lord, Woz...





You just know Steve Jobs is watching this, and laughing his ass off. But that's good, because laughter is the best medicine. Steve should be back at the Apple helm next Wednesday after one more episode.

We've just had our Ballmer "Developers! Developers! Developers!" moment, I'm afraid...so much for 10 straight years of Apple being seen as nothing but cool.



BTW, they're kinda framing this as though he's still with them. The host made two post-dance comments to Woz:

- "If Safari freezes, do I force quit or what?" (Woz: "Reinstall")

and

- "Good luck getting an appointment at the Genius Bar!" (the host in response to a judge's snotty comment about Wozniak's dancing).

Now, I'm pretty sure I mentioned this very thing, back in the thread that first talked about this a few months ago.

"They're going to play it up like he's still with Apple", I said (words to that effect). They introduced him as Apple's co-founder, and showed a pic of him back in the 70's with an old Mac and Apple logo. Nothing mentioned about what he does now. And tons of "computer", "geek" and "nerd" comments or comparisons.

Watch Apple's stock nosedrive tomorrow.



EDIT: lowest score of the night, FTW! 13 out of 30.
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Miko
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
 
2009-03-09, 21:13

I think Woz should just Force Quit! Oh the horror of watching another dance routine, maybe with a Segway next week he'll do better.
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2009-03-09, 22:04

Marc Cuban was the same way + dorky animated phony facial expressions and he lasted 4 shows I think. Of course, he probably paid someone off.
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2009-03-09, 22:41

My Dad just e-mailed me, saying "could this guy be a bigger nerd?!"

He's got a point.



1. He pulls up on a Segway, lacking only a propellor beanie and slide-rule in his shirt pocket
2. He's wearing those shoes and black socks with shorts
3. He makes some sort of "digital/analog" comment about dancing and it just goes completely over his partner's head (although that might be seen as a shortcoming on her end, IMO)
4. He makes some really cringe-inducing swishbucket moves during his routine (was he dancing or was he auditioning for Carson Kressley's gig? )
5. Weird, lame jokes and obscure, oddly-timed comments throughout

He seems like a nice, friendly and earnest guy (and he could buy and sell me and everyone I know 20x over). And it's cool that he's so willing to step out of his comfort zone and do something that's so alien to him (props for that). But I got the impression that a little of Woz probably goes a long way. Not sure I could take an entire 60 minutes of him (so hopefully his appearance here will not lead to some "unscripted home life" spin-off show.

"Woz Happening!", this summer on E!



Wait...I probably shouldn't laugh because you could almost bet some dipshit in Hollywood is spitballing the idea as we speak...





"Hey, if we can make Grade A douchenozzles like Bret Michaels and Bruce Jenner TV draws...".
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bassplayinMacFiend
Banging the Bottom End
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
 
2009-03-10, 07:03

Real men have slide-rule holsters. They don't carelessly flop them into a shirt pocket.

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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2009-03-10, 10:18

I've received so many snarky e-mails from people today.



"Hey, I saw your boy dance last night...hahaha."

"Nice moves from the iDork!"

"And you give Microsoft a hard time?!?"

Crap. I hope he gets tossed next week (and with the lowest score of them all, it's a strong possibility). I - we - can't have this goober on there for another 8-10 weeks, embarrassing the community with his social retardation and complete lack of rhythm.



Some folks just ain't cut out for certain things, including being on TV. And I'm afraid he's going to try and work that Segway into a routine..."Nerd Lake" or something.
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709
¬°Damned!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
 
2009-03-10, 10:39

Wow. I just saw it, and I have to admit I wasn't prepared for that level of awkwardness.


It's here, for those who haven't witnessed it yet.

So it goes.
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2009-03-10, 10:52

Don't watch! Look away!

Yeah, it was tough to sit through. I admit looking at the wall or ceiling a few dozen times...



Actually, this puts a few things into context. I'm not entirely convinced Steve Jobs' six month "medical leave" is what they're saying. It's entirely possible he got wind of this ("Woz is gonna do what? Holy crap...") and just decided to go away, lay low and not really be associated with/tied to Apple at this particular time.

I can't say I blame him. I'd make up some jazz about "medical leave" too.



I think it's a very strong possibility to consider after last night.

In fact, I look for Jobs' return to Apple on the Monday following Wozniak getting booted off (which will probably be next week). So mark your calendars for a rested and refreshed Steve Jobs to return to Apple on March 23.



On a side note, how much do you wanna bet that many Apple employees are walking around campus today, aping various dance moves to one another and laughing. I'm sure the "in jokes" are in full swing at 1 Infinite Loop this morning. Two guys pass each other in the hall and break into a little impromptu swirl and dip, etc.


Last edited by pscates2.0 : 2009-03-10 at 11:02.
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zippy
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Unknown
 
2009-03-10, 11:28

I think you're all being too hard on the guy. I thought he did alright given that I wasn't expecting anything eloquent. It looked like he was having fun - which is what you should be doing when you are dancing. I couldn't see any areas where it looked like he was missing any of his ques or elements. It certainly wasn't graceful, but I've never been accused of that trait myself.

I have to give him props for what appears to be a decent step outside his comfort zone, and for taking a risk of severely embarrassing himself.

Do you know where children get all of their energy? - They suck it right out of their parents!
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2009-03-10, 11:43

It's all good fun. I said, earlier above, that I thought it was neat that he would do such a thing, etc. I gave the man legit, sincere props for doing something so obviously out of his area of expertise/ability.

But I can't ignore what I see...



Hell, he knows he's a train wreck!

I'm sure he's having fun with it all on several levels.

We all are.

At the end of the day, he's still who he is and this is just a blip on his radar. He can afford to do such a thing because, technically, he's still cooler and more influential than everyone else on that show, combined (that's the neat little secret of it all...he's actually done something, and contributed to the world, in ways the other contestant can only dream and fantasize about).



And who knows...he might become that underdog "crowd favorite" (every show like this has one, the "little contestant who could"), and he might manage to stick around, actually improve and really dazzle everyone in another 4-6 weeks?

At least he's not like some of these people on these "celebrities embarrassing themselves to win an unscripted competition show". He's actually a nice guy and not the flaming dickhead you often see on the various "12 quasi-famous people thrown into a house or rehab to yell at each other for an hour" shows.



He's already ahead of the game in many, many ways.

But he's an unholy mess on the dance floor...don't ask us to overlook/ignore that.


Last edited by pscates2.0 : 2009-03-10 at 11:54.
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Taskiss
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: St. Louis, MO
 
2009-03-10, 11:44

Just think of him as the Centris 650 of dancers...
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alcimedes
I shot the sherrif.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Send a message via ICQ to alcimedes  
2009-03-10, 11:45

So, do the partners of crappy people just get tossed along with the crappy people, or do they rotate the real dancers around?
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zippy
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Unknown
 
2009-03-10, 11:47

They sit it out the rest of the season I believe. Except for a few group numbers here and there.

It's kind of a lotto for what kind of partner you get at the start. I'm sure it's pretty disappointing to get paired up with someone who obviously isn't going to get past the first few weeks.

Do you know where children get all of their energy? - They suck it right out of their parents!
  quote
pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2009-03-10, 11:56

Quote:
Originally Posted by alcimedes View Post
So, do the partners of crappy people just get tossed along with the crappy people, or do they rotate the real dancers around?
I think they go away when their ousted celebrity partner does. The pro dancers remain with (and practice) with their celebrity partner the entire way (a permanent pairing/match for the season). That way they supposedly grow and improve in the coming weeks/months? It would probably be tough to swap them out and constantly be starting from scratch.

Yeah, if you're one of the pro dancers on this show, you'd want to be paired up with someone known for their athleticism or grace (like that ice skater from a few seasons ago), vs., well, Steve Wozniak or Cloris Leachman. At least you'd have a fighting chance (if someone can ice skate, spin, balance and has the training and endurance to do stuff on one leg or not mind being tossed up into the air or spun around, they've got a leg up - no pun - on the others).



I'm sure it's sometimes a total bite to find out who your celebrity partner is going to be.

"Her?! Ah, shit...I won't last two weeks."

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curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2009-03-10, 12:12

Quote:
Originally Posted by Taskiss View Post
Just think of him as the Centris 650 of dancers...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Applenova
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Taskiss again.
Old school!
  quote
Unch
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: United Chavdom of Little Britain
 
2009-03-10, 12:21

I have a horrible feeling that Woz is going to have the John Sergeant Effect.
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2009-03-10, 12:26

Dudes it wasn't THAT bad... take it from someone who has seen Cliff Claven, Steve Gutenburg, Cloris Leachman and others dance on this show... there have been far, FAR worse performances. It wasn't good and the expressions are painful but after the first 15 seconds or so when he stops Dancing with Himself (they should've played Idol!), he at least stayed in the routine, etc. The guy has absolutely no rhythm but hey, he's White 'N' Nerdy!

...into the light of a dark black night.
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faust
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
 
2009-03-10, 12:29

Best quote of the night from Bruno

"It was like a Teletubby going mad in a gay pride parade."
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