Hates the Infotainment
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
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New entrant:
"That leaky roof will cause you THOUsands in repairs! Phil Swift here for MAGIC SEEL. Yes that's right, you can spray some liquid rubber onto your shingles and your roof will be totally repaired, and I'm not a lying sack of shit!" ...into the light of a dark black night. |
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Hates the Infotainment
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
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Add a new one to the hate list:
Have you guys seen the ad where some telecom or phone company (can't remember exactly) shows all these "other moments captured by surveillance cameras" with people kissing or strangers helping each other on the street, etc? It's unbelievable the nerve these dirtbags have, trying to convince us that having cameras all around us / being watched is a good thing. The tag line was something like "see the world in a new way". Message being, don't see those cameras as a way of being tracked or losing your privacy, instead rejoice in the YouTube moments they collect! Which obviously, we'll never see... except on this BS ad. As soon as I remember or see it again I'll post in here who did it. Probably funded by the NSA. The makers of said commercial deserve to die in a fiery bus crash. "Trust us... we really do have your best interests at heart. This is not the draconian government you're looking for." ...into the light of a dark black night. |
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On Pacific time
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
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I've been wanting to write about this one every single time I see it because it's so unbelievably horrible and loathesome.
Pretty sure it's Liquid Plumber. I want to know the agency who devised this truly disgusting ad. A relatively nice-looking, intentionally sexy plumber appears at the front door saying something like he's heard there's a blockage that needs attention. A middle-aged, somewhat dumpy woman says, "Sorry, but I have to leave in ten minutes." Then this pretty good-looking guy holding the bottle of Liquid Plumber says suggestively: "But I only need seven minutes." Then there is an extreme close-up of a ghastly-looking fecal drain clog as it is washed swiftly away. Omg. They've actually managed to insinuate sex into the problem of a drain clog. And there's no mistaking that this was their intent, because there was nothing subtle about it. Ugh. The creators thought their ad was funny, but they were essentially putting-down and making fun of that middle-aged woman, who's presumably a customer for this product. They were insinuating that she was past the day when she might have been able to attract this guy in real life, if she *ever* could have. But, hey, if she can't have *him*, she can at least get the house's drains unclogged swiftly and without much trouble. Last edited by Windswept : 2013-10-15 at 21:14. |
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Veteran Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
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Hates the Infotainment
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
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Yah I saw that one Carol... it's pretty retarded. There are any number of guys a bored housewife might choose to cheat with but I'm pretty sure the plumber is not one of them (in the real world). The average cheating hoor is much more likely to give it to the rich neighbor guy down the road than some plumber guy whose been digging around in people's sump pumps and toilets all day.
...into the light of a dark black night. |
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Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: oaktown
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Not an ad per se, but a few years ago I was shopping for a toilet, and Kohler had at the time a cute plumber girl that would say sexy things about toilets, between sexy giggles when you moused over her. One of the sexy things was "More solid waste flushing power than the average person will ever need!", which of course forced to mind the terrifying contemplation of the rare individual who could bring even a Kohler to its knees and what exactly that might entail. As noted by a cute plumber girl.
I imagine the pitch went like this: "I know, let's have a pretty girl dressed up as a plumber saunter out, strike a saucy pose, and say "Flushing is fun!" That way, no one will ever want to have sex again and America will be ours for the taking." And so the lizard people began the long game. That which doesn't kill you weakens you slightly and makes you less able to cope until you're completely incapacitated |
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Mr. Vieira
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
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If you hate this one, what about those Kraft zesty salad dressing spots with the stud guy at the grill? They're just as lame and heavy-handed. A whole series of them. I guess they know who they're playing too, like all the sports-oriented T&A aimed at guys. |
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Hates the Infotainment
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
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Don't forget the Kraft Mac & Cheese guy. ALthough the "smite them with the liquid gold" line is pretty funny. Should be more like "clog your arteries and increase your blood pressure 3-fold, as you smite them with liquid gold," but you can't expect much these days.
...into the light of a dark black night. |
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Antimatter Man
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
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Old Spock vs New Spock - "The Challenge"
Clever trek and nerd culture references... and a classic payoff near the end. My new favourite commercial. (Cross posted in the "YouTube Gems" Thread . . . Brad, delete either as/if necessary) Spoiler (click to toggle):
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. Last edited by curiousuburb : 2013-11-11 at 09:36. |
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On Pacific time
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
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I love the wonderful rescue dog named Reilly in the Angie's List commercial. He is huge, with mostly white, ultra-soft, thick huggable fur, with grey ear tips and grey trim. He looks like the most huggable sweet dog on any commercial, ever.
On the other hand, I hate the Vonage commercial with that dreadful guy that looks like he just spent a month living in a dumpster. He mostly makes comments in Spanish, presumably aimed at all the Mexicans calling back home. The people in the ad are all smashing sledgehammers through walls, shouting Mejico! India! Brazil! A destructive, abrasive, off-putting commercial. Everything about it is repellent, including the scorpion-on-a-stick the guy is given to eat. Yuck! Another horrible ad is the Beggin' Strips commercial with a dog tearing through a house begging for bacon strip fake treats. The dog has the obnoxious assaultive voice of a carnival barker and makes the ad horrible to hear. Why do the ad people make commercials that are so dreadful to see and/or listen to? Ugh. I change the channel as fast as I can to avoid the offensive barrage. Don't they bother to study people's reactions before putting this horrid stuff on the air? |
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Making sawdust
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Minnesota
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Am I the only one driven nuts by the Kindle "Mayday button" commercials? The way she says "Awww!" at the end of both of them bothers me
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Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2004
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"I like you"?
Really? Not "Do you make house calls, because man, I could use an on-demand gal around here..." ? On the plus side, I really dig her hair. |
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Dark Cat of the Sith
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Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2004
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True dat.
My next thought was "OMG, those poor Mayday people are going to be swamped with prank video chats. I foresee many dangling penii in their futures." |
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meh
Join Date: May 2004
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On Pacific time
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
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I think it's a Sears Optical commercial, but it's running again, and I like it as much as I did before. A woman opens a sliding door to her backyard at night and calls "Here, kitty, kitty." A raccoon answers her call by dashing across the yard and hurrying into her bedroom.
Final scene shows the raccoon blissfully stretching out and then snuggling comfortably into a soft spot at the bottom of the lady's bed, just as the 'actual' cat might have, had the lady been wearing a pair of glasses from Sear's Optical and been able to see that the creature sharing her bed was not, in fact, her cat, but a wily raccoon enjoying the part. A fun commercial because the humor is visual and charming, imo. It's sweet, and I'm glad they're running it again. The lady says something to the raccoon at the end, but I can't make out her words. Can anyone else tell what she's saying? |
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On Pacific time
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
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I like the Duluth Trading Company commercials. They're pretty silly, and fun to watch 'because' they're silly. They're like something a lumberjack might come up with.
Like the gopher(?) who pops out of the ground to gawk at a lady's shirt that doesn't cover her backside belt-line enough while she's bending over. When she's wearing a Duluth Trading Company shirt however, the gopher gets zapped, and briefly is electrified, so that his skeleton is visible for a moment, like in an x-ray. Just silly; but as I said, fun to watch at the silliness they come up with. Now they have an "armachillo" shirt, that apparently helps one stay cooler than a normal rugged shirt. A good, but silly, name, don't you think? There are some ads that I like and have been meaning to mention, but my mind goes blank when I sit down to write about them. Very annoying, and it happens *all* the effing time!!! Damn! Grrrr. |
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Hates the Infotainment
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
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Yah those are pretty good, Carol. Completely original and entertaining for the most part (other than the one where the guy gets his nuts squashed in a vice -- even in a cartoon format that's hard to watch as a guy). Congratulations to whoever it was at that agency who decided following formulaic ads for these products was a dumb idea. I like the angry beaver one and the glaring ground-hog one (where it stares down the woman's pants ), my wife likes the water shedding pants one (I think... I can't remember which one but she always laughs at it).
...into the light of a dark black night. |
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On Pacific time
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
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So, that voyeuristic 'creature' was a groundhog, you think? I thought it might be a gopher, but I guess it makes no difference to the silliness involved, since neither of those animals would be interested in a woman's backside. These cartoon drawings are the kind of thing a young teen guy might come up with, and I say that, remembering the stuff my brother used to draw when he was a kid.
Another ad I've watched with a certain amount of amazement is one where a woman walks around holding the hand of a large round human bladder, that has long skinny arms and legs and huge sad eyes. The bladder is sad because it constantly needs to visit bathrooms, and pulls the lady toward the nearest one every few minutes, preventing her from carrying on a normal life. I imagine it's a pretty good ad for ladies with that problem. I can't help picturing conference rooms in exorbitantly expensive New York skyscrapers where teams of agency people discuss these ad campaigns... showing video clips of animated bladders with pathetically sad eyes... or gatherings of villainous mucus monsters in dark cavernous nostril chambers... or raccoons snuggling up on the beds of ladies who need new glasses... and gophers being electrocuted after casting lustful glances. It's all so wonderfully silly. And to think these people make an absolute fortune for the ideas they come up with that turn out well. |
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geri to my friends
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Heaven
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I used to be undecided.....But now I'm not so sure. No trees were harmed in the sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced. |
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Mr. Vieira
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
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What about the Trivago ads with that homeless barfly guy they hired to be in them?
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On Pacific time
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
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A relatively new ad shows a guy and three of his *very* large friends playing basketball or some kind of sport. The guy also has his little white dog along. The dog has a happy smile on his furry white face.
At the end of the sports activity, everyone heads toward the car of the guy-with-the-dog for a ride home from the park. The dog streaks toward the car at top speed, beats everyone there, and leaps through the front passenger-side window where he plops down, ever-so-comfortably, on the front passenger seat, which is pretty clearly his normal place of residence, as evidenced by his level of casual comfort and the blissful smile on his face. Meanwhile, the three massively-built friends are crammed into every inch of the tiny backseat, with the bulging muscles of their bare arms stacked on top of each other. They can't help glaring at the little dog who sits in splendid and solitary comfort in his large front seat, flashing his happy grin. I don't know what product is being advertised here, as usual, but the ad is fun to watch. |
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On Pacific time
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
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About a month ago, a dreadful ad aired, probably for cat food, that featured repeated, extreme close-up slow-motion shots of the underside of various cats' tongues as they licked their chops, presumably while salivating for the cat food.
These close-up shots were truly appalling and ghastly to watch. Who could have imagined what an *extreme* close-up of the underside of a cat's tongue looked like? It was like watching a car wreck to see this ad unfold. You couldn't stand watching it, yet you couldn't take your eyes off the biologically obscene sight of these tongues. If you never saw this ad, there's no point in trying to explain it to you, because it was one of those things that you just had to see to believe. It ran for about four days in total, and then apparently was yanked off the air. Wow. People must really have registered their complaints for it to disappear so quickly. Or, even more likely, the cat food company itself just really hated the reaction they were getting and demanded that the ad be removed... even after spending the fortune that they must have spent to get the ad made. I can't help picturing all the turmoil and blame that must have gone on behind the scenes before this ad was yanked. Advertising must be a business that causes a lot of ulcers. geez. |
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Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2004
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needs more women unclogging their pipes
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Mr. Vieira
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
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That little bastard from the Amazon Fire phone commercials needs a smack. Ugh...can't stand these commercials, and how he comes across. It's not "cute", funny and it pretty much guarantees I'll never buy one of these phones.
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Hoonigan
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
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This might be the greatest commercial of all time.
East Hills Mall BTW I didn't know Miley Cyrus did local commercials!! |
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Mr. Vieira
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
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OMG, that is so awful. And I can't stop watching it!! And, yes...the "come get yo' backpacks" girl is a total ringer for Miley. Unfortunately, they only show her once...while they show all the others 2-3 each. Why?!? Last edited by psmith2.0 : 2014-08-22 at 11:07. |
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Hoonigan
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Canada
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I know man, I can't get the damn song out of my head. I just love the chick in the middle there looking like a deer in the headlights... "COME GET AN OUTFIT"
The only one I actually want to harm is the haircut broad. |
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Mr. Vieira
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
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The first 26 or so times I watched it I thought she just had big, deep dimples. And then I finally realized it's some sort of facial piercing/appliance.
Maybe I shouldn't broad-brush like this, but I'm not gonna let someone who'll do that to her own face be cutting on my hair. I have a feeling we have differences in our outlooks and opinions on "what looks good". |
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@kk@pennytucker.social
Join Date: Jan 2005
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Clicking on this thread, I knew this commercial would be the one talked about. This damn kid is so annoying.
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