[Brad]

On a whim, last Tuesday my wife and I decided to take a trip to Las Vegas for the weekend. I checked with my office that I could get the time off on such short notice, booked the flight and hotel, and started packing! We arrived in Vegas Friday night and left early Monday morning to return home this evening.

Overall, it was a lot of fun! This was my first time to Vegas; so, all of my expectations were based on the ridiculous images of Vegas you see in movies and on television.

Here are a few first-timer observations I had about Las Vegas that immediately stick out in my mind.

The good...

• The attractions are fun and there's a pretty wide variety of stuff to choose to see. Rides, music, magic, comedy, performing arts, food food food... literally something for nearly anyone.
• The monorail system behind the strip is a godsend. It's cheap, has many convenient stops, is clean, and is nicely air conditioned.
• Everywhere you go there is chilly air conditioning. Even outdoors in the 110°F heat, there are fans with water misters blowing to keep passersby cool for free.
• While not strictly part of Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon helicopter tour and desert ranch lunch and horseback trip we got was a ton of fun! Having spent my life on the east coast of the US and only seeing this geological wonder in textbooks and TV shows, seeing the canyon and the surrounding geography in person was a huge thrill.
• Pretty lights everywhere at night! Although, New York is just as bright and impressive, IMO.
• Everything felt very "safe". Whatever the authorities are doing in Vegas to keep unsavory elements at bay, they're doing a fine job of it.
• The architecture and design of some of the hotels is nothing short of amazing. In the Paris hotel ground floor, for example, the ceiling is painted like an evening sky and everything (except the slot machines, of course) is softly lit with blue and orange as if you're outdoors on the streets at dusk. There are even fake buildings around the perimeter built proportionally to look taller from the ground than they really are.
  
  

The hilarious...

• Slot machines are right there when you get off the airplane and into the terminal. Nothing better says, "WELCOME TO LAS VEGAS, INSERT MONEY HERE!!!"
• There was a Klingon woman working at the Hilton who took offense at a gaffe she overheard me make. When she was a few steps away, I said to my wife that "qa'plah" meant hello or goodbye (when of course I meant that it can be used as hello or goodbye) and the Klingon woman was quick to turn around and give me a verbal lashing about proper language and protocol.
• I would never have expected to see an iPod mounted on the helicopter control panel...
  
  

The bad...

• Second-hand tobacco smoke is everywhere in Vegas. Some restaurants and shows have non-smoking policies, but pretty much all of the thoroughfares and buildings around the strip are saturated with a penetrating foul odor that lingers and follows you wherever you go.
• Gambling can kill your soul. I don't mean "spiritually" but in the sense that you may lose your humanity and become a shell of a human. There seem to be three types of gamblers: high rollers and professionals, people just looking to blow some money for fun, and addicts. It was really very sad to see the last type of people in Vegas with bleak, expressionless faces sitting entirely motionless at slot machines, only barely moving their right hand to tap the buttons again. Many of them were disheveled and obese, looking like they just landed out of a scene in Idiocracy.
• All Las Vegas employees must be either greedy or underpaid. Every single service worker we encountered had some mention of "gratuity" (either verbally or on a sign) and how tips have to make up for X amount of their pay.
• The hotel casinos were actually pretty boring. It felt like 95+% of everything was slot machines or other cheap electronic derivatives.
• Everything is obscenely expensive, but I guess that makes sense since it's all a big tourist trap.
• Three nights + two days isn't nearly enough time to see all the good attractions!

The ugly...

• Did I mention the smoke everywhere? Yeah, that shit is nasty. My wife is already sick in her sinuses and throat from all the heavy smoke we had to wade through and I feel like I'm just barely fighting illness off myself. If there's one reason that will keep me from going back to Las Vegas in the future, this is definitely it.
• "Star Trek: The Experience" is closing down forever on September 1st. BOOOO! Over the past couple of weeks, there's been a box of paper and pens for visitors to say thanks and farewell and, curiously, the vast majority of the posted messages were letters from little kids saying "please don't go away!" which was actually kinda sad.
  
  

With that long and sometimes grueling experience behind me, I'd say that it was definitely a lot of fun, but I'm pretty confident that I won't be returning any time soon. Ugly #1 mentioned above and the hole we burned through my wallet are plenty motivation to find a new destination for next summer.

Anyone else go to Las Vegas recently with experiences to share? I actually know that one other AppleNovian went this past week (but I missed 'em when I was there) and that another will be going next weekend...

[curiousuburb]

No Vegas, but today I'm off to Crete for a week, re-bronzing myself and perhaps traipsing the labyrinth checking out Minoan bronzes.

I suppose that makes me a Cretin for a week... even before the Ouzo.

[bassplayinMacFiend]

Haven't been to Vegas, but I did a weekend jaunt to Nashville on the 7th. Definitely much different (in a good way) than I expected.

[Kickaha]

Maaaaaaaan, if I'd known you were going, I would have recommended the Atomic Testing Museum. It's made by geeks, for geeks. It's *WONDERFUL*. My wife and I went last Nov, expecting to just make a quick breeze through and maybe a laugh out of the bad exhibits... instead we took four hours, and loved every minute of it.

[murbot]

Yeah shit, we were there at the same time. Shit!

We were at the Mirage. Pretty nice place, and the free upgrade they gave us was nice.

The smell is fucking insane. American cigarettes smell 10 times worse than ours. There are just weird smells everywhere though. Like a mixture of fart and smoke or something. New York New York is the worst, it smells like smoke and a wicked fruity fart mixed in. We had to leave that shit hole pretty fast.

We stayed by the pool to beat the heat one day. Went down at 8am and had a few of these MONSTER margaritas. Drink a few of those on an empty stomach in that heat... made for a, let's say, leisurely afternoon.

See any shows or anything? We saw 'O' and La Reve, and both were really good. Skipped out with my buddy to Spearmint Rhino one night when the ladies were in bed, and that was good... crazy expensive though.

The blackjack games are going to shit. I see the new thing is single deck everywhere with 6-5 payouts for a blackjack. Some places were even paying 6-5 on a 8 deck shoe for chrissakes! WTF?!

I also thought it was hilarious that the guys who line the sidewalks handing out those cards with hookers phone numbers on them are now wearing these backpack billboards that extend up a few feet. Usually with a pair of hotties making out on the back. Friggin' hilarious.

[psmith2.0]

My wife and I went to Las Vegas around 10 or so years ago (mid-late 90's, somewhere around 1996 or 1997, I believe), and then again, as friends (post-divorce), in early 2001 (to see Pat Benatar ). Like Brad, we made the awesome decision to go in the July/August timeframe. Yeah, it was about 620 degrees...



Too hot to even hang out by the pool and cool off! The water was a gross "bathtub warm" (which is great if it's nighttime in December, not daytime in the desert).

And Brad pretty much nails all my thoughts and observations...the good, bad, ugly, silly, cool. I agree with (and recognize/remember) pretty much every point he makes above! That place is a weird mix of equal parts all the above. Just as you're admiring something really neat (a building or a cool lobby design, for example), you're interrupted by something so godawful tacky and not-of-this-earth that you almost need an Alka-Seltzer and a mallet.



That was our entire weekend, it seemed...bouncing back and forth between "oh, how cool!" and "ohmigosh...WTF?!". I had the same reaction to the gamblers, and the different "levels". I'd feel so bad for those lower-tier types just sitting there, pumping their money in. The look like locals, and you get the sense that this is their "job". They look like they don't have a pot to pee in, so you wonder where they go and where they call home, or if they even go there more than 3-4 hours a day.



I've not been back since, and it's not really "on my list" to be honest. For me, it's one of those "see it once or twice, just to say you have...then get the hell out and never return!" places. It's just not my bag, overall. The sleaze/cheese/ick factor seemed to outweigh the cool/interesting stuff. For me, anyway. It was fun and neat for small 1-3 day bursts, but...

YMMV.



I'm a horrible gambler, I'm not much into the shows, I kinda get offended at strangers placing escort/titty bar guides into my hand as I'm walking along with my wife, I have suspicions about a $3.95 lobster and whether or not I should be eating it, etc.

Oh, and that Criss Angel (Mindfreak) magician twit lives there, making it the Douchebag Capital of the U.S., so I'm afraid I can't return on those grounds alone. Sorry, Roboman. I know you love your city...



We went to Laughlin about 3-4 times during our time in SoCal and enjoyed it much more. It's "Vegas lite"...smaller, less crowded, didn't seem as sleazy or "reality show"-ish (you're not going to turn around and see some moron from "The Hills" or Hulk Hogan's skanky daughter), etc. There's still gambling, food, nice views (you're right on the Colorado River, with a huge desert ridge/vista on the opposite side). It was, to us, more comfortable and bearable (and the memory that sticks with me to this day: playing 25¢ slots and my wife winning $300 as an Asian lounge band, six men and three women, about 30 feet away, did the most ass-kicking, note-for-note cover of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" I've ever heard...they nailed it: vocally, instrumentally, etc. We were floored ). But that's been a good decade or so as well, so I have no idea if it's grown and gotten nutty too by now. Probably.

[Luca]

Originally Posted by murbot The smell is fucking insane. American cigarettes smell 10 times worse than ours. There are just weird smells everywhere though. Like a mixture of fart and smoke or something. New York New York is the worst, it smells like smoke and a wicked fruity fart mixed in. We had to leave that shit hole pretty fast.

Wow, you've basically described what a nursing home smells like. When you think about it, there's not much difference between that and a Vegas casino!

But seriously though? Thanks for the warning, murbot and Brad. I'll make a point not to go to Vegas unless I am dragged there against my will. Didn't realize it would be so smoky and disgusting. I can handle some secondhand smoke, but when it's everywhere, it wears me down quickly. When I visited Italy in 2001, it was all over the place (they've since introduced smoking bans in some areas). I couldn't stand it by the end of the trip. And this was Italy! It should have been 10x better, so if smoke was able to bother me there, I can only imagine how miserable I'd be in Vegas.

[murbot]

It can be nice depending on how you do things. Our best day was the pool from 8am to 2pm, drinking and snacking, and checking out the sweet chicks everywhere. Back to the room to workout for a couple hours () then out for some blackjack, then to a show and a great meal in the Palazzo at the Venetian.

The only time smoke was a major thing was playing blackjack, but sometimes it's not so bad if you don't have smokers left and right at the table.

Even with all the shit there, I still like it. I mostly love the cat and mouse game with the pit. I love counting cards.

[psmith2.0]

Watch it, murbot. If you look up and see Robert De Niro, Don Rickles and a couple of big guys headed your way...

Didn't you see "Casino"?

[Luca]

Yeah you might get stabbed in the throat with a pen!

[Xaqtly]

Why do you people never give us any warning? We could have at least met up for lunch or something.

Mostly it's the gaming areas that are smoky, the shows, restaurants etc. are generally smoke free. And I guess this would depend on how much you like The Beatles, but the Love show at the Mirage is really good. It's Cirque Du Soleil so there's great acrobatics, but for me what did it was the music. All remastered from the originals, it was fantastic.

I'd say it's worth going to Vegas just to see it, because if nothing else Vegas is unique in the world. You don't get an accurate sense of scale from the TV or even movies. The hotel/casinos are just too huge.

[kieran]

I was just out there in May for the first time for the girlfriend's birthday.

It was awesome. I put a thread up about it, but I'll write some here too.

We went from Thursday to Monday and took a day to drive out to the Grand Canyon. I enjoyed that part the best. Driving out in the Southwest is so much different than up here in the Northeast. Just me and the gf in the car for an entire day in a place we've never been. It was a great time. and the Grand Canyon was pretty nice too.

My favorite casino game was roulette. No real skill involved, but it was fun to play with other people. We stayed up until 6 one morning playing roulette all night. Lost some money, but it was fun as hell.

We saw "O" and that was incredible. I want to see the Beatles' one next time I'm out there.

We both want to go back as soon as we can, but we want to go with other people as well. I think it would be a fun time to go with other people as well.

[Xaqtly]

Oh, and I think I've mentioned this before, but the psychological tricks the casinos use to keep you there, awake and gaming is really interesting. They design the gaming floors like a maze so you're more inclined to just sit down at a slot machine, they keep it cold so you don't fall asleep, there are no clocks or windows anywhere, all the lighting is uniform and the music being played is specifically tailored to whatever the most prevalent age group is. There's also the free drinks and stuff like that.

You have no sense of the passage of time because the environment inside never changes and you can't see outside, and there's always people everywhere. It's actually kind of fascinating to me.

[murbot]

It's so easy to get free drinks. I was killing time in one casino waiting for someone and I had 4 bacardi and cokes in about 15 minutes. I sat at this Zeus penny machine. Played one line x one cent. I hit TWO pulls before I got my first one. Forty cents later I get drink #2 when drink #1 is half empty. Chugged the first one and swapped glasses. A dollar later I get drink #3. I was just laughing my ass off at how fast these girls come around. I know they're probably only 1/2 to 3/4 oz drinks, but still. One very five minutes adds up. That was the fastest drink girl I've ever seen there.

[psmith2.0]

Yeah, that's one of the neater things...you can indeed get completely sideways, if you want, with very little effort or outlay of cash.

And Xaqtly is, um, exactly right...once you go in to a casino, you have no idea what time is, or anything that's going on!



Is it day? Night? Sunny? Cloudy? Have I been here two hours or seven? Is it the next day? It's 4:30am and I'm wide awake...I never do that back home! And on and on. It's pretty freaky.

[åsen]

I stayed there for a month in 1997, for a Red Flag exercise at Nellis AFB.

The story was the UK had been offered totally free accommodation for all 200 of us at Caesar's Palace for the duration, on condition that Caesar's be allowed to publicize loudly that they were proud to support the UK armed services.

Sadly, some bureaucrat in London was appalled that we could be staying in a *gasp* casino, and so declined the offer. We ended up in a hotel that didn't even have a bar, no doubt at vast expense.

[FFL]

Viva RAD Vegas!

I leave on Thursday.

Any Vegas locals interested in catching some very high-quality live rock-n-roll can purchase tix at the link above (limited tix will be available at the door for each show) - make sure and PM me also, and I'll see you there.

[Windswept]

Glad you both had a good time there, Brad and murbeau.

Thought I'd add a slightly weird note about Las Vegas, though I think I mentioned this in a thread once a few years back:

One of my colleagues from work and her husband flew to Vegas with a male friend of theirs from their church. They were all in a casino together when a pretty girl started flirting with the male friend. He eventually said he'd see them later, and went off with the girl.

To make a long story short, they didn't make contact with him again and I guess just assumed he was having a great time with the girl. They were concerned when he wasn't at the airport when it was time to leave, but figured he'd just take a later flight.

Well, when they still hadn't heard from him on Monday, they called the hotel in Vegas and asked the manager to go check his room. The manager found him unconscious, and with a sewn-up incision in his body. Turns out he'd had a kidney surgically removed and stolen. You may think this sounds like a made-up tale, but my friend wasn't the type to make up stories, and her husband was an engineer for a large national company, also not a likely fabricator of tall tales.

So, anyway, this happened over ten years ago, but it's still worth bearing in mind. Take care of yourself while you're there, FFL.

[psmith2.0]

That sounds like one of those freaky urban legends!

[Windswept]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 That sounds like one of those freaky urban legends!

Hardly anyone ever believes me when I tell them about this.

[Chinney]

For some reason Vegas, casinos, gambling, just has no interest for me. Of all the 'vices', gambling is the one I understand the least. I just don't have the urge, or even an understanding why it arises. Never been to Vegas though. I guess it would be nice to see all the lights, but I'd much rather be hiking in the desert, or bicycling.

[thegeriatric]

Anything is possible, so i believe you. It sounds like as you said that these are not the kind of people to make up stories.

[murbot]

Oh yeah, I had a stripper tell me to pull my dick out during a lapdance!

Vegas is a crazy place, baby.

[Satchmo]

Originally Posted by murbot Oh yeah, I had a stripper tell me to pull my dick out during a lapdance! Vegas is a crazy place, baby.

Crazy Horse is pretty wild. From the moment I walked in, a tall buxom blonde come up to me, pulls down her top and with her right boob right in my face, she says, 'welcome...would you like a dance?'

I'm not a big gambler, but I'm always struck by the amount of disposable money people have. I once hung around this blackjack table in Caesers, where the minimum bet was $500. This young lady not older than 25-26, was calmly placing $1000 bets with regularity! I said to myself, she's got to have a sugar daddy.

[Robo]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 Oh, and that Criss Angel (Mindfreak) magician twit lives there, making it the Douchebag Capital of the U.S., so I'm afraid I can't return on those grounds alone. Sorry, Roboman. I know you love your city...

Oh yeah. I just lurves teh Vegas.

I don't know. I guess I'm just not a very "Vegas" person. And I live there, so any mystique it might otherwise have (if I was a Vegas person) is gone anyway.

And yeah, you do see lots of total zombies at the slots or tables, and you do hear the constant middle-C "ding ding ding!" of slot machines, even in airports or 7-Elevens. And I guess all the flashing lights and fireworks just get old.

I'd rather live in Portland any day. I'd get an airy loft in the Pearl, so each morning I could walk (walk!) to Powell's, greatest of all independent book stores. Or maybe I'd drive, but I'd drive a tiny hatchback - a Mini? - because the smaller your car, the better if you're trying to park in Powell's small-ish multi-level parking garage. It used to be an office building, and it shows. The entrance ramp is supersteep, and then there's a tight corner half-way through, and then it climbs some more.

And then I could grab some iced coffee (or would I even like iced coffee, if I didn't live in a desert?) at their little cafe, which is also where all the humor books go, so it's an easy place to smile. And then I'd browse the rest of the store, which is an entire city block, and two floors - three in parts - and full of books. The rooms are color-coded, and my favorite is the one at the very top - the Pearl, which is named after the color, the object, and the neighborhood, all at once. (The Pearl has an art gallery and event space, and the awesomely expensive Rare Book Room.)

And then after browsing the store to my little heart's content, I would cross the street - it would be raining, but I wouldn't have an umbrella, because nobody in Portland has an umbrella, and I love the rain anyway - to that little hipster fro-yo shop, because small businesses somehow flourish in Portland. How hip is this fro-yo shop? They served fro-yo before it was hip to serve fro-yo. Before it was even called fro-yo, back when it was "frozen yogurt." I wonder if they're still there. Maybe they've moved on to serving other, hipper things, like free trade coffee or Soyjoy bars.

And then maybe I'd take a trolley - sorry, streetcar, they will always be trolleys to me - and explore the city more. Or maybe I'd retire to my airy loft in the Pearl, because Oregon has public television that's worth a damn. Or maybe I'd go to the park. I don't know for sure if there was a park near Powell's and that fro-yo shop, but there probably was, because there are parks all over the place in Portland.

And they're green.

And wet.

And perfect.

Yeah, I don't think I'm the Vegas type. No green. No rain. No indie bookstores. (Okay, I've heard there's one in the Forum Shops at Caesar, but who the hell wants to go to a casino to read? Middle-C ding ding ding, remember? No way.) Just lots and lots of LOOSE SLOTS! and DOUBLE POINTS ON FRIDAYS! and HOT GIRLS DIAL 555-6969! and flashing lights and dry and dust and dead.

[Luca]

LOL, Roboman, you're such a flower child!

Originally Posted by Roboman And they're green. And wet. And perfect.

Sorta like Orion Slave Girls, am I right?



(I know, wtf... Star Trek TOS-based sexual references? How much further can I possibly sink?)

[Robo]

Originally Posted by Luca LOL, Roboman, you're such a flower child! Sorta like Orion Slave Girls, am I right? (I know, wtf... Star Trek TOS-based sexual references? How much further can I possibly sink?)

When I wrote that the first time, I'm like "SOMEONE's going to turn that into an innuendo." So I added "green." I thought I was safe.

The funny thing is, for a "flower child" I was never really into nature. I'm not an outdoorsy person at all - I would much rather be inside, with all of my toys. But I think Vegas actually sort of changed that. Because I can't stand the desert, I really can't.

You don't know what you got 'til it's gone, and all that.

It rained yesterday. I was shocked. I consider that a good omen for the semester, because I love rain. I was rushing in between classes but I still walked outside for a few seconds, just to let it fall on my head.

The funny thing is, the day after it rains I always have superbad nosebleeds, because I think my nose "gets used" to the humidity and then it gets all gross and dry again. The desert, not my nose. So I always get a nosebleed, and then I'm fine (until it rains again).

[AWR]

Thanks for the thread - it may have saved me some trouble.

I've never been to Vegas but I do get to Northern California with the fam every two years. As the little ones get bigger I thought that I would stop over in Vegas for a night or two on the way to the Grand Canyon, Joshua Tree, pick a place. I imagined the kids would have a laugh with bellhops dressed as Centurions; all that kind of over the top stuff, fountains, laser shows, whatever. I guess I had heard that these days it was a fun place for families. I guess a day or night wouldn't hurt anyone, although perhaps there are better places to visit!

Edit: Oh, Windswept, that story is disturbing!

[Sauvblanc]

While I agree with Brad, the monorail is fantastic-especially since we were in the Hilton when we were in Vegas. The only downside is that I heard the casinos footed the entire bill for the 'rail. Which meant that they stop at the casinos and the only way into the strip was to make your way through a maze of slot machines.

But other than that it was a complete neurological nightmare. Although I do admit it was very cool to be watching the season finale of CSI while in Vegas.

[FFL]

I'm at the airport now...... look out Vegas, here I come!