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The Official Dating Commentary™ Thread


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The Official Dating Commentary™ Thread
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ShadowOfGed
Travels via TARDIS
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Earthsea
 
2005-11-13, 20:28

Ok, now that I'm done stealing atomicbartbeans' trademark , here's the gist:

So this seems to be a pretty interesting group of regulars here, so I'm starting a thread for everyone's thoughts on dating. Of course, I made mention of dating in this thread and it seems to have since hijacked the thread. Thus this thread: so that other threads can, well, stay on topic . Some of Windswept's comments have been, well... interesting, to say the least.

So let's hear it: complaints, comments, suggestions, thoughts, tendencies, observations, experiences, expectations, whatever. Sometimes they're happy , sometimes they're sad , and sometimes they're just... well, they just "are" .

Sure, I'll probably take flak for starting this thread, but I think it'd interesting (and thus worth the flak ) to hear the AN community's thoughts on this, since it affects most of us at one point or another. Let's try to keep bitterness out of this... I know I'm squelching a fair amount right now!

Have fun!

Apparently I call the cops when I see people litter.
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curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2005-11-13, 20:38

Dating like one-nighter attempts? like looking for M. Right? like wingman stories? Qu?
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ShadowOfGed
Travels via TARDIS
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Earthsea
 
2005-11-13, 20:41

Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousuburb
Dating like one-nighter attempts? like looking for M. Right? like wingman stories? Qu?
Hmm... maybe I left it open-ended for a reason!
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atomicbartbeans
reticulating your mom
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Send a message via AIM to atomicbartbeans  
2005-11-13, 21:03

I prefer relative dating.

Last edited by atomicbartbeans : 2005-11-13 at 21:15.
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Quagmire
meh
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2005-11-13, 21:14

Stop torching me with your stupid dating crap. :sits here with no GF and never had a date :
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scrouds
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Orlando, FL
 
2005-11-13, 21:32

dating is a very important topic to the geoscience community. Chief among that is the concept of the "Law of Superposition" Which allows said "relative dating" to occur.
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709
¡Damned!
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Purgatory
 
2005-11-13, 21:40



Does that mean my cousin is more likely to let me twist her like a pretzel than someone I'm not related too?
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ShadowOfGed
Travels via TARDIS
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Earthsea
 
2005-11-13, 21:52

Quote:
Originally Posted by 709


Does that mean my cousin is more likely to let me twist her like a pretzel than someone I'm not related too?
Uh,

Do I know your cousin?
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Windswept
On Pacific time
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
 
2005-11-13, 21:58

Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousuburb
Dating like one-nighter attempts? like looking for M. Right? like wingman stories? Qu?
I think he means pretty much 'any' and 'every' thing. Whatever you want; whatever springs to mind.

Funny. Now that there's a thread where dating is the 'actual topic', no one can think of a 'thing' to say! haha

Okay, I'll address DMBand's post about being straightforward (again). Unlike 'some' females, apparently, I have *never* said the opposite of what I really mean (in 'any' relationship). Even when I was a young teen I never did stuff like that. It just seems stupid to me, and most assuredly causes more trouble than it's worth.

Perhaps people say stuff like that when they don't have the courage of their convictions wrt certain issues. At least, that's what I'm guessing. Insecurity and immaturity combined.

'My' concern is that I have to guard against being *too* straightforward, because that can produce unwanted consequences too.

Also, I am a very affectionate person, so sometimes I have to keep myself from being 'too' affectionate and, instead, try to maintain more of an emotional 'distance', especially in new relationships. I find this approach to be wise for me, because later, if my interest in someone wanes, it's better for all concerned if I haven't been too enthusiastic at earlier stages of the acquaintanceship.

I don't think any of that is really 'game-playing', but it certainly is a 'managing' of the expression of my feelings early in relationships.
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ShadowOfGed
Travels via TARDIS
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Earthsea
 
2005-11-13, 22:26

Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertaker
Stop torching me with your stupid dating crap. :sits here with no GF and never had a date :
Hey, look at it this way... maybe this thread will help you learn from our mistakes so you don't have to make them yourself!
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Ryan
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Promise Land of Trustafarians
 
2005-11-13, 22:40

Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertaker
Stop torching me with your stupid dating crap. :sits here with no GF and never had a date :
Step 1: Turn off computer.

Now, that's done, you shouldn't be able to read this.

The only times you will ever actually meet a girl and have something happen is when you turn your computer off, so take my advice. It works. (And it should be incredibly obvious)

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ShadowOfGed
Travels via TARDIS
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Earthsea
 
2005-11-13, 22:44

Quote:
Originally Posted by Windswept
I think he means pretty much 'any' and 'every' thing. Whatever you want; whatever springs to mind.

Funny. Now that there's a thread where dating is the 'actual topic', no one can think of a 'thing' to say! haha
Ding! Yep, pretty much anything and everything, except the cynics who took it to mean some form of relative dating or carbon dating, etc... I mean like dating people, you guys... wow, we're such a bunch of geeks!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Windswept
I don't think any of that is really 'game-playing', but it certainly is a 'managing' of the expression of my feelings early in relationships.
Yeah, you should call it... Diligent Relationship Management, or DRM for short. (*ducks*)

I'd just like to underscore that second part above about not being too straightforward. I got burned by being too straightforward. Had a bad weekend, was way too straightforward about why, and... so yeah, moving along.

I guess one of my gripes, completely aside from "playing games," is that everyone my age seems to reek of superficiality, and that absolutely drives me up the wall. It really seems like a rare treat to meet someone who is really down-to-earth and realistic about things, while still having a personality that's generally comfortable to be around. Of course, my perception could be skewed... I dunno. Oh, and one more thing...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Windswept
Sammy, I've been thinking about this, and I believe you should try dating women in the 24-25 age range instead of 19 yr. olds. That might make a big difference for you. Whaddaya think, eh?
I'm really trying to un-hijack your other thread here, heh . Anyway, I can't speak for him... but while I see the point there, the notion still kinda creeps me out, even though I can't quite say why. I guess the thought of dating someone who's notably older/younger than me seems... awkward. Maybe I'm just a strange cookie. *shrugs*

Apparently I call the cops when I see people litter.
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NosferaDrew
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2005-11-13, 22:45

Way too many emoticons in the first post.
That should be some kind of penalty in itself.

Only Murbot is allowed to get away with that.
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ShadowOfGed
Travels via TARDIS
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Earthsea
 
2005-11-13, 23:00

Quote:
Originally Posted by NosferaDrew
Way too many emoticons in the first post.
That should be some kind of penalty in itself.

Only Murbot is allowed to get away with that.
<jarjar> Rut-roh... me sir in trouble? </jarjar>

The form tells me when I have too many, but I think I was right at the limit!
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Windswept
On Pacific time
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Moderator's Pub
 
2005-11-13, 23:06

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadowOfGed
I guess one of my gripes, completely aside from "playing games," is that everyone my age seems to reek of superficiality, and that absolutely drives me up the wall. It really seems like a rare treat to meet someone who is really down-to-earth and realistic about things, while still having a personality that's generally comfortable to be around. Of course, my perception could be skewed... I dunno. Oh, and one more thing...


...the notion still kinda creeps me out, even though I can't quite say why. I guess the thought of dating someone who's notably older/younger than me seems... awkward.
Helloooo...! If everyone *your age* reeks of superficiality, then perhaps you should try someone a few years older.

But the thought of that *creeps you out*. Seems like we have "mission impossible" on our hands here, Shadow.

I think I know what you mean, though. Dating someone a few years older might 'seem' like a good idea 'on paper'. But when you actually start thinking of putting it into practice, it may seem a bit more 'iffy'. Awkward? Yeah, that's the word.
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_Ω_
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2005-11-13, 23:08

[bloodninja]I find the robe and wizard hat works wonders[/bloodninja]
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Wrao
Yarp
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Road Warrior
 
2005-11-13, 23:08

Been in love once, still love her(serious relationship). Been in deep 'like' a few times, still communicate with some of them(less serious relationships). Been a whore for a while(fuck buddies!), surprisingly dissatisfying. I've never really 'dated' though, not in the conventional sense. Sure, I've been on dates enough times, but all the relationships I've been in and out of have been pretty irregular. But then, I think that's probably pretty normal, so it's not really irregular, just not 'traditional', whatever that means. I've been a ho for the past few months and I think I want a real girlfriend again, but at the same time, having a committed relationship is draining and time consuming, so maybe not, maybe I just want steady sex with someone I like.

Oh... the internet
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Wrao
Yarp
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Road Warrior
 
2005-11-13, 23:10

Quote:
Originally Posted by Windswept
Helloooo...! If everyone *your age* reeks of superficiality, then perhaps you should try someone a few years older.

But the thought of that *creeps you out*. Seems like we have "mission impossible" on our hands here, Shadow.

I think I know what you mean, though. Dating someone a few years older might 'seem' like a good idea 'on paper'. But when you actually start thinking of putting it into practice, it may seem a bit more 'iffy'. Awkward? Yeah, that's the word.

Golly! I was seeing(sleeping with) an older woman for a while, I loved it! she was great in bed AND she was mature enough to not be all drama blahblah. Girls my age are mostly crazy, which, has its charms, but it was such a breath of fresh air to deal with someone who had 'been there, done that' so to speak.
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ShadowOfGed
Travels via TARDIS
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Earthsea
 
2005-11-13, 23:18

Quote:
Originally Posted by Windswept
Helloooo...!
Hi!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Windswept
Seems like we have "mission impossible" on our hands here, Shadow.
Yep, agreed. I am indeed quite the walking oxymoron. Those thoughts were really intended to be separate, but of course since they both come from me, you're spot-on with that analysis. A lot of this, though, is mostly just to put some of these thoughts "out there."

Apparently I call the cops when I see people litter.
  quote
Wrao
Yarp
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Road Warrior
 
2005-11-13, 23:18

Quote:
Originally Posted by CubeDude
Step 1: Turn off computer.

Now, that's done, you shouldn't be able to read this.

The only times you will ever actually meet a girl and have something happen is when you turn your computer off, so take my advice. It works. (And it should be incredibly obvious)

Ya know, in this day and age... I don't think that's really the best advice. Okay, it's a double-edged sword, but consider this. He's a computer user, a dork, and he likes/knows computers and dorky things. By going out into 'the real world', he will have a very hard time meeting girls that are on the same wavelength as he is. So, what's the harm in him seeking relationships thru the medium that he is most comfortable with... the computer... internet...etc.


The whole 'meeting people on the internet' thing is kinda dubious, but at the same time, dating services have always been around, and this is just the newest one. Enough people are getting into them these days, that the people that use them aren't all going to be freakish weirdos. It's becoming more or less accepted...etc.

I mean, think about it, there is no harm in talking to people via AIM, you get to know someone based on their intelligence, humor and non-aesthetic values. They may or may not intrigue you, you may or may not be intrigued by them, but if you are, then you can meet in person and have sex with them. Win-win if you ask me.

So, in that regard, I don't think it's such a bad idea really.

Yes, I experimented around with the internet dating thing a little. I went on a few dates with a few different girls, I boned a couple girls, and I stopped doing it with the knowledge and satisfaction of having tried and gotten something from it. What's more, Relationships I've had with people I met in real life have benefitted greatly by the convenience and cutesiness of IM an email. So... It definitely has its place.

Ultimately, I'd be more comfortable meeting someone in real life than through the internet, but I think there is nothing inherently wrong with the net either, especially if that's where you are comfortable. Of course, there is a world of things to be said about the type of person that is comfortable on the net, but let's just assume quag is a strapping young dynamo waiting to explode his majestic cock of the gods on a beautiful young nymph of passion....
  quote
Ryan
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Promise Land of Trustafarians
 
2005-11-13, 23:34

Yeah, but I think that it can be hard to really express your feelings well over AIM. Maybe if you have the writing skills, it'll work for you, but for people my age (15, I believe Quag is the same age), I think it really works better to meet them in real life. Sure, just about every high schooler I know has a Myspace profile, but c'mon. It's Myspace. One person can only read so many "sexy truck" comments and "ooh check owt mi knew pics!!!11!!" messages.



Anyways, I think if you have the writing skills, AIM and email could definitely work, but in my (limited) experience, conversations turn cold and unemotional quickly. Last time chatted with in that kind of situation on AIM we ended up talking about the difference between soccer sandals and regular sandals.

  quote
_Ω_
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2005-11-13, 23:50

Quote:
Originally Posted by CubeDude
we ended up talking about the difference between soccer sandals and regular sandals.

So what is the difference?
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Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2005-11-13, 23:51

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadowOfGed
Ok, now that I'm done stealing atomicbartbeans' trademark , here's the gist:
Hey dude, I started using the many moons before the legendary Atomic Bart ever registered here. In fact many moons before anyone registered here. Let that be a lesson to ya, young whipper snapper!

As for dating, I thank God every day I'm old enough to barely remember it.

...into the light of a dark black night.
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Wrao
Yarp
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Road Warrior
 
2005-11-13, 23:53

Quote:
Originally Posted by CubeDude
Last time chatted with in that kind of situation on AIM we ended up talking about the difference between soccer sandals and regular sandals.


...and you weren't able to use that for some charmingly endearing comedic gold?! that's your problem buddy, not your writing style's
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ShadowOfGed
Travels via TARDIS
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Earthsea
 
2005-11-13, 23:55

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wrao
... then you can meet in person and have sex with them. Win-win if you ask me.

[...]

... but let's just assume quag is a strapping young dynamo waiting to explode his majestic cock of the gods on a beautiful young nymph of passion....
OK, so call me old-fashioned, but isn't there more to dating and perhaps meaningful relationships than just an uncontrollable desire to bang someone?

I make no illusions that sexual activity isn't an important part of any given relationship, but the idea of just getting around for the sake of satisfying a gargantuan sex drive just seems a little... wrong, to me. Is there something I'm missing here? (other than "getting some," to stave off the jokes )

Sorry, no offense Wrao, your lifestyle is your choice (and if your lifestyle and your comments aren't quite in sync, I apologize for misinterpreting), it's just a general point of contention for me. I've just never understood the "one night stand" mentality...

*puts on asbestos suit*

Apparently I call the cops when I see people litter.
  quote
Wrao
Yarp
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Road Warrior
 
2005-11-13, 23:56

oh yea, and cubie...

Code:
|^^^^^^^^^^^^| | SEXY TRUCK | '|""";.., ___. |_..._...______===|= _|__|..., ] | "(@ )'(@ )""""*|(@ )(@ )*****(@
  quote
ShadowOfGed
Travels via TARDIS
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Earthsea
 
2005-11-13, 23:59

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moogs
Hey dude, I started using the many moons before the legendary Atomic Bart ever registered here. In fact many moons before anyone registered here. Let that be a lesson to ya, young whipper snapper!

As for dating, I thank God every day I'm old enough to barely remember it.
Ah, my bad. I just assumed it was his, based on a post I saw elsewhere...

I stand corrected.
  quote
Wrao
Yarp
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Road Warrior
 
2005-11-14, 00:11

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadowOfGed
OK, so call me old-fashioned, but isn't there more to dating and perhaps meaningful relationships than just an uncontrollable desire to bang someone?

I make no illusions that sexual activity isn't an important part of any given relationship, but the idea of just getting around for the sake of satisfying a gargantuan sex drive just seems a little... wrong, to me. Is there something I'm missing here? (other than "getting some," to stave off the jokes )

Sorry, no offense Wrao, your lifestyle is your choice (and if your lifestyle and your comments aren't quite in sync, I apologize for misinterpreting), it's just a general point of contention for me. I've just never understood the "one night stand" mentality...

*puts on asbestos suit*
Well the 'then you get to bang them' part is really just my way of saying "meet them in real life and create a lasting union that you can both appreciate"

Perhaps I didn't make my point too well(curses text! ) but, basically my point is that, you build the meaningful relationship via IM and email, maybe graduating to phones if it's really neat. Then, by the time you meet, sex gets thrown into the equation and wow, suddenly you're in an awesomely fulfilling relationship and it all started with casual and simple IMs.

For the record, one-night stands are basically worthless. I have never gotten any satisfaction out of them outside of the immediate pleasure, which even then has been surprisingly disappointing.
  quote
Ryan
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Promise Land of Trustafarians
 
2005-11-14, 00:20

Quote:
Originally Posted by Omega
So what is the difference?
Something about not having that little string between the big toe and the one next to it or something.

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BlueRabbit
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Denver, CO
 
2005-11-14, 00:21

CubeDude, just wait until you get to college and hit Facebook.
Anyways, here's one of my friend's response to the whole "Beautiful Truck" thing:

Code:
YOU GOT HIT BY THE>>> @________@ LAME COUCH! >:-(--|----< *Ker-splat.* ONCE YOU'VE BEEN HIT, YOU HAVE TO HIT 8 Lame People IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU'LL KNOW YOU'RE REALLY LAME! IF YOU "BRAKE" THE CHAIN, YOU'LL BE CURSED WITH COOLNESS FOR 10 YEARS SO PASS IT HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS LAME
Note to everyone: this isn't a good idea for someone who you want to date.
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