[Freewell]

That would be the more obvious surface symptom. Once you dig down to the root cause that zsummers eluded to, you will finally be on your way to healing and resolution. This however is something that you must discover and realize for yourself. You will be far more peaceful when you do though. Keep soul-searching, and don't forget to take the shades off!

[Taskiss]

It's an odd thing, but the less you need others the more attractive they find you. Look at the woman you're obsessing over (and yes, you are obsessing).

Need isn't pretty. Desire, that's another thing.

Get comfortable living in your skin, get to the point where you don't feel he need to have someone in your life, and *POOF*, God screws with you and sends someone to shake you up. It never fails.

[Freewell]

Most excellent observation there, Taskiss!

[MBHockey]

it's not that. It's that i have this stupid idea in my head where I think as long as she hasn't met someone new we still have a chance of getting back together. So as long as i know she hasn't met someone (which she hasn't) i CAN'T move on.

My worst nightmare is to find out she has met someone else, but it is the only thing that is going to set me straight. That's not going to be a good day, but it has to happen.

[BuonRotto]

So in order to win her back, you can't feel like you need her to be happy. However, once you don't feel that you need her to be happy, you won't want to win her back. Nice Catch 22, eh?

Frankly, I think your ex is doing you a favor. Sorry for the tough love, but you really have to tackle your self-esteem issue before you try any more to wi her back or whatever.

[MBHockey]

i don't think i have a self-esteem issue. It's not like i am so hung up on her because i think i'll be lonely forever without her. That's not why I miss her. I miss her because i miss HER. I don't just miss being in a relationship, i miss being in a relationship with her. I'm not sure if i'm making sense.

I have other options besides my ex. I don't pursue them because they wouldn't be as fulfilling.

[Taskiss]

Originally Posted by MBHockey I don't pursue them because they wouldn't be as fulfilling.

You sound like a nice guy. These things happen. It's not anything bad and most everyone else has gone through it if they've lived long enough.

That said, it is obsession, and you need to recognize that and do what you have to in order to get back on the horse.

Obsessive lovers believe that only the person they fixate on can make them feel happy and fulfilled.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive_love

[MBHockey]

Hey all, just wanted to thank everyone for helping me through this.

I've been doing much, much better over the past couple of weeks. It's been four months since the breakup, and I'm in a much better place mentally, seeing things clearly and logically. I'm glad to have had the relationship with her that I did. I think I learned a lot about myself, about what I want in a significant other, and just a lot about life in general. I think i've grown a lot as a result of this, and just have this overall feeling of being more mature (I think that's what it is, I can't really put my feeling on what this feeling is).

Anyway, it would have been a lot harder without being able to come here and vent my thoughts to all you guys and gals, and reading through all of your replies. So, thank you very much for your time, your genuine concern, and your advice.

See you next time!