[murbot]

Star Wars Episode III: a steaming pile of Sith.

If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong.

[thuh Freak]

"By the way, if you haven't seen this movie yet, don't read the previous sentence."

[Carlos Net]

You do gotta love how hilariously bastardy Maddox can be about EVERYTHING, don't you...

And yeah, that quote was gold.

[Kickaha]

That *review* was gold.

Lucas has no clothes.




EWWWWWWWWW....

[709]

Those drawings are fantastic.

[julesstoop]

Couldn't agree more, terrible plot.

[BuonRotto]

thuh Freak got it right. Even after reading your quote first, Freakazoid, it still surprised me in the text and made me laugh out loud at work.

[Windswept]

Well, my friend and I saw it from the first row (*sigh*) since those were the only seats left in the theater. The first row sucks intensely, of course, but...whatever.

Anakin was a feast for the eyes, and I would really like to try that giant lizard as a mode of transport. But yeah, the plot sucked in a major way. I did kinda like the fire flood at the end, but hated to see Anakin's loveliness destroyed by it.

Did anyone see Kingdom of Heaven? I like historical stuff, so I liked that aspect of it. Had the most delicious meal of pecan-encrusted rainbow trout before that movie. Yum.

Yeah, yeah. I'm off-topic. So what. I haven't been off-topic for a while, so I'm due.

[curiousuburb]

Thankfully, it wasn't reality teevee George (despite his cameo in blue).

Could have been worse...



Though I thought this was cute...

[Powerdoc]

Originally Posted by julesstoop Couldn't agree more, terrible plot.

Terrible is not sufficiant. I just see the movie yesterday. The funniest part was when annakin just after the death of the master jedi, said you are my master.
Is annakin french ?
That could explain why he surrendered so quickly

[alcimedes]

LOL!

Score one for the Frenchman.

Maddox summed up my feelings on the movie precisely.

[curiousuburb]

The sense of 'closure' and tying off of plot points according to canon was nice in places.
The resulting plot jumps that meant we saw no more than 5 minutes of wookies, etc were disjointed.

The acting and dialogue were so wooden my ears have splinters (but at least no Jar Jar).
And as Maddox illustrates, there were some bantha sized plot holes.

Visual spectacle, sure... but overdone in places with too many distractions. (Making me wonder if the SFX folks asked to blow their wad as a final proof of their progress since 77, or if the detail was intended to drive DVD sales in order to re-examine the other 300 ships in each flying sequence.)

That said, I did appreciate the apparent care and attention given to the evolution of technology. Ships and walkers seem to follow a logical engineering development from Ep 1 through to 6 (despite the relatively low tech effects in 84). At least the props, production design, and art departments weren't as stiff.

A Great film? Nope.
Almost as good as ESB or ANH? Maybe 3rd best.
Better than the other prequels? Easily.
Having just seen it last night, perspective will take a while.

[spotcatbug]

Damn, I thought I liked this movie. Oh well.

[psmith2.0]

You did, spotcatbug. Everyone else is just being crabby. Ignore 'em.

Originally Posted by spotcatbug Damn, I thought I liked this movie. Oh well.

You thought you liked it? God forbid you form your own opinions on things regardless of what others think.

Personally, I really enjoyed it. Sure it had some cheese, but for those not blinded by nostalgia, so did the original trilogy. It beats the hell out of the first two prequels, is much better than Attack of the Teddy Bears, AKA Episode VI, and is more entertaining than watching a kid and an old guy wander around the desert for an hour (Episode IV). In other words, it's one of my favorite Star Wars movies.

[Moogs]

I love the cartoon with Anakin choking Padme...

"Look my brow is furled... angry!"

"I can't shut my giant f&*^# mouth."

Ouch.

I agree with one thing for sure: Lucas has WAY overdone the special effects for the last three movies, mostly because there is no character halfway as compelling as Han. Combine that with juvenile dialogs and plot development and you have to make everything a special effect.

The shear number of different robots and ships and battle scenes is just overbearing at points. Does there always have to be all kinds of crazy shit going on every other scene? Maybe *build up* to some crazy shit instead of just making it an orgy of laser blasts and funky looking machines?

One of the reviewers prior to release (NYT I think) said Lucas had clearly demonstrated himself to be the new master of special effects (over Peter Jackson). I am not making this up... you almost have to be retarded to make that statement.

Anyway, I'm one of the dunces Maddox talks about who still insists it's better than the last two. My biggest reason is there is far less shitty dialog (though the script is still very weak in general), and let's face it: the dark side stuff is kinda cool.

[ezkcdude]

And I thought I was the only one who didn't like it .

Why in the universe would any programmer program a robot to say ouch for goddsake?

All I can say is that for days after seeing it, I couldn't get this line out of my head:

"Oh, Ani. Hold me like you did that time on Naboo."

[Crusader]

Well having seen the movie once in the theater and several other times... elsewhere... I have to say that I really enjoyed the Lightsaber fights. That was about it. The plot sucked hardcore. Having grown up in the greater Star Wars universe, my imagination developed a much clearer (and coherent) vision of the rise of the Empire... so as far as I'm concerned my version is the one that happened.

Lord Vader could have been done so much better. Instead of this great brooding man who was tormented by his inner demons... driving him to the dark side, we get Lucas's portrayal of Anakin: A teenager like me but whinier and more easily manipulated. Not the kind of man that you would see the great dark Lord Vader come from at all. Plus the "Nooooooooo" bit at the ending was so friggin cliché.

Anywho, I just loved the end of the article:

All Grievous needed was a monocle, and a large black moustache that he could twirl as he cackled "I'll get you, if it's the last thing I do!" Ditch this bullshit.

[naren]

I just liked it when he caught fire!

[spotcatbug]

Originally Posted by pscates2.0 You did, spotcatbug. Everyone else is just being crabby. Ignore 'em.

I loved the movie, actually. I'll be buying the DVD the day it comes out.

However, I find Maddox's review to be equally awesome. I had to agree with everything he said, but somehow it still doesn't matter.

In my original post I was trying to comment on this strange phenomenon. I think I was a bit too terse.

[Powerdoc]

Originally Posted by Moogs I love the cartoon with Anakin choking Padme... "Look my brow is furled... angry!" "I can't shut my giant f&*^# mouth." Ouch. I agree with one thing for sure: Lucas has WAY overdone the special effects for the last three movies, mostly because there is no character halfway as compelling as Han. Combine that with juvenile dialogs and plot development and you have to make everything a special effect. The shear number of different robots and ships and battle scenes is just overbearing at points. Does there always have to be all kinds of crazy shit going on every other scene? Maybe *build up* to some crazy shit instead of just making it an orgy of laser blasts and funky looking machines? One of the reviewers prior to release (NYT I think) said Lucas had clearly demonstrated himself to be the new master of special effects (over Peter Jackson). I am not making this up... you almost have to be retarded to make that statement. Anyway, I'm one of the dunces Maddox talks about who still insists it's better than the last two. My biggest reason is there is far less shitty dialog (though the script is still very weak in general), and let's face it: the dark side stuff is kinda cool.

You are right, and I am happy to not be alone to think : I have an overdose of special effects.

The anakin thing was a total disaster. Clearly Dark Vader is a total idiot and naive people. That's not the way I saw him in the original trilogy.

[Windswept]

Originally Posted by spotcatbug I loved the movie, actually. I'll be buying the DVD the day it comes out. However, I find Maddox's review to be equally awesome. I had to agree with everything he said, but somehow it still doesn't matter. In my original post I was trying to comment on this strange phenomenon. I think I was a bit too terse.

If you loved it, that's great. I believe in enjoying the simple pleasures in life when and where you can. Many people are jaded and critical about so many things. Being jaded might give them/us plenty to say, but when you get right down to it, it's not much fun, is it?

I remember the first time I went on the Peter Pan ride at Disneyland (I was an adult, not a child ), and saw the lights of the city (of London, presumably) twinkling far below, contrasted with the intense darkness of the night sky. This unexpected sight of flying over the city gave me such a child-like pleasure. I had gone on the ride only because there was no line and I thought I might as well try it out before the park started closing for the evening. It turned out to be a very sweet experience that I remember fondly.

[Windswept]

Originally Posted by Crusader Lord Vader could have been done so much better. Instead of this great brooding man who was tormented by his inner demons... driving him to the dark side, we get Lucas's portrayal of Anakin: A teenager like me but whinier and more easily manipulated. Not the kind of man that you would see the great dark Lord Vader come from at all.

You make a very good point. They really threw away a major opportunity at depth of characterization.

Also, Anakin changed his whole life supposedly to keep his woman from dying, but when he was with her he certainly didn't seem very affectionate, loving, or passionate. Would you agree with that? Or maybe my perception was distorted from being in the first row.

[psmith2.0]

Well, he was a brooding, intense young man...no time for cuddlebug frivolities with his girl. The galaxy was at stake!



BTW, I agree with Maddux's "review" (even though he's a punk)...but it still doesn't change my enjoyment. I think I'm genetically programmed to like and admire this shit, sorry.



I'm totally aware of the flaws and shortcomings of Lucas' stuff (and have spoken about them several times in this very thread). But for some reason, these movies get a bit of a pass from me, where something like "Freddy Eats Des Moines II" or Will Ferrell's latest waste-of-film wouldn't.

[johnq]

The unavoidable problem with this particular part of the Star Wars story line is that it starts in the Republic (with large numbers of Jedi), then the intrigue and chaos of the takeover (with clone & robot armies), then the rise of the Empire.

At all points in this story (Ep. 1-3) we are in settings that have a vast scale to them. The cities are vast, the armies are innumerable, the spaceships are swarming, but all this is truly intentionally a matter-of-fact part of the universe the story is set it. If it seems ho-hum to the characters, it should be. Same as any New Yorker in Manhattan or any cop in L.A. It's their reality.

Compare it to IV-VI and the relatively small scale of the places visited. Bespin was the biggest city in the whole original trilogy, and the planet was just gas Mos Eisley a close second. Death Stars are mostly empty. Hoth and Yavin IV desolate. Dagobah... etc.

When people blame Lucas for having everything be too busy - that he's filling the screen with hectic, gaudy, gee-whiz bullshit just "because he can" both financially and technically, they aren't giving him enough slack that ok, this part of the saga really is supposed to be huge scale.

They see CGI everywhere and presume the story would have been much different if, say, Lucas had only released them as novels or comics.

Point is, he envisioned it and he brought it to screen. If he said he couldn't have done this part of the story using 70's and 80's technology he means that this is his original vision made real. Obviously he brainstormed much of the action with his teams as they went along and most of it is tacked on to the underlying story, but that can be said for the old series too. That's just the business and process.

Anyway, the acting sucked at points, but so did certain scenes in IV-VI. But if you let go and enjoy the ride for what it is, all 6 are fundamentally enjoyable as spectacle.

We stood in lines for several blocks in 1977 to watch shit blow up, not for any high-art or Shakespearian performances.

[Kickaha]

Yeah, but 1977, you were watching shit blow up in all new ways.

Now, it's nothing new. It's even boring.

Films can't skate by on just special effects anymore, they need to drop back to the old school of *gasp* acting, plot, characterizations...

[Mac+]

johnq - "two thumbs up" I agree that the scale of the first three films had to be realised and I don't think it was an over zealous use of CGI to convey such an era.

As for this thread, I think it is pretty impressive that for a film so many "seem to" deride it is generating such a wealth of comments. If you don't care for it, let it be.

Maddox is funny, and I enjoy reading his rants, but seriously this was not a bad film in the grand scheme of the Star Wars saga.

Whilst the acting (and direction of the actors) was not superb, the story was well constructed and has been something we have been wanting to know for 28 years. Credit where it is due ... GL created a story that has held our interest - otherwise people would not have gone to see it. I mean, damn ... you've seen five other episodes - what did you think, the acting would improve and cute characterisations would miraculously disappear in the final instalment?

C'mon the story is the key, effects secondary and acting etc (under Lucas' direction at least) are subserivent to those elements. Right or wrong - that's the way it has been and it is something I've learned to accept. I pay my money for a ticket and settle down to enjoy the ride.

When I went to see Star Wars (ANH) I did not go as a kid to check out the new special effects. Granted - they are noteworthy and deservedly won an Oscar, but I have never bought into the film just to witness shit blow up. As a kid, I went to discover this new universe that some guy had created with robots and wookies, space pirates and villains etc. Sure, huge space ships flying on screen are impressive, but the school yard talk was always along the lines of "Do you think Darth Vader is Luke's father?" or "Is Han Solo dead?" or (and this is for 'scates) "Are Princess Leia and Han Solo gonna do it?" ... for these reasons alone, I think that criticizing the Star Wars series of films for having ho-hum (or no ground breaking) special effects is missing the point.

I give credit to the guy who (ironically) created his own industry following his own vision. It's his story - this is way he chose to tell it. Thanks for telling it - here, have $12 for your effort.

[Powerdoc]

Originally Posted by Kickaha Yeah, but 1977, you were watching shit blow up in all new ways. Now, it's nothing new. It's even boring. Films can't skate by on just special effects anymore, they need to drop back to the old school of *gasp* acting, plot, characterizations...

I think you made a very important point here. I was 10 when I saw the first movie, now I am 38 and I am no more impressed. Worse my eyes are trained to differenciate what is CGI and what is real.