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Aggressive Debeardification


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Aggressive Debeardification
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Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2010-01-20, 22:06

So, I ran into this poor vagrant on the street the other day and thought to myself, "Augh! It's the Unabomber!" He seemed to be a friendly enough chap, though. So, I figured I'd be the good samaritan for once and "help him out" of his filthy, filthy, scraggly predicament.



Of course, the first thing I did was slash a razor across the side of his ugly face. That'll teach you to talk to strangers! So I thought. Fortunately for him, the fella had tough skin because the razor grazed his cheek and just took off some hair. I was amazed at this guy's demeanor, as he wasn't at all phased by my sudden attack.



What to do next?

I slashed again at him with the razor, thinking surely I'd hit an artery and be able to collect a pint or two for a quick blood bank deposit. Again, I missed just barely and failed to injure the hairy beast, and in my stupefied state, he managed to snatch the hat from my head and reveal his true inner smug bastard.



I would not be bested by this vagabond! Again, I reached for the razors and whipped them side to side over the monster's hideous visage, but again with surprising agility he ducked and dodged my assaults. What he didn't realize, however, was that with my deft maneuvers I had transformed him into the nightmare of nightmares: Creepy Perv Neighbor Guy!



He was not happy.

Nor was I.

"Wait… why am I doing this?" I asked myself. "At first I wanted to help this poor bastard, but I've done nothing but nearly ruin him!" And with that, I decided to unleash everything I had in a fury of rage and razorblades.



Aha! Finally I had defeated him and successfully transformed the beast into a reasonable excuse for a human being!

Having succeeded in my task, I tranqued him with a dart and dragged his lifeless mass back onto the street, free to roam the world "a new man".


...



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Stallion
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Milwaukee
 
2010-01-20, 22:19

That's awesome!
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Matsu
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2010-01-20, 22:27

Love the lomographic aesthetic...
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scratt
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: M-F: Thailand Weekends : F1 2010 - Various Tracks!
Send a message via Skype™ to scratt 
2010-01-20, 22:27

Great pics.

For a joke I came out of the bathroom one day with a full on moustache (like the one in pic #4) after part shaving off a couple of weeks of stay at home beard. My wife freaked and ordered me back into the bathroom and refused to let me out until I'd cleaned myself up.

Next time I'll try pic #3.

'Remember, measure life by the moments that take your breath away, not by how many breaths you take'
Extreme Sports Cafe | ESC's blog | scratt's blog | @thescratt
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pscates2.0
Mr. Farmiga
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2010-01-20, 22:40

I love the third pic! We all know that guy, don't we? Has an old, shot-out Camaro filled with Rush and Foghat cassettes.
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Maciej
M AH - ch ain saw
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2010-01-20, 22:41

Yeah the third picture really makes it for me. It just reminds me of a friend from college (duh!) and really screams "wanna have another beer duuuudde?"
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Kickaha
Likes his boobies blue.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hell
 
2010-01-20, 22:42

Sweet.
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drewprops
Magnificent Basturd™
sagacious-d
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
 
2010-01-20, 22:51

I nominate this for Best Thread of 2010!!!



Reminds me of the last day of shooting on Pet Semetery 2. Anthony Edwards had a beard in the show and when he was officially wrapped he went off to the hair & makeup trailer for a bit of trimmy-trim-trim. He did the same thing as you did - a bit at a time. We were still shooting a bunch of leftover bits and he didn't leave the stages right away, so it was entertaining to see his "next" stage of trim as he'd wander through set from time to time.


...

Steve Jobs ate my cat's watermelon.
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Robo
Formerly Roboman, still
awesome
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Portland, OR
 
2010-01-20, 23:18

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curiousuburb
Antimatter Man
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2010-01-21, 05:33

The 3rd pic needs a beer or a huge reefer, but otherwise perfect.
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billybobsky
BANNED
I am worthless beyond hope.
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Inner Swabia. If you have to ask twice, don't.
 
2010-01-21, 08:30

well at least we now know that Brad can pull off virtually any facial hair look from 'this is sparta' to 'boys don't cry'.
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Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2010-01-21, 08:46

Glad you guys appreciated my psychotic, murderous rampage on my face.

I was actually thinking about keeping #3 for a day and going to work to see the reactions, but Wifey gave me a big enough -look that convinced me otherwise.

And, Drew, you need to share your movie-making stores like that more often! Write a memoir or something!

The quality of this board depends on the quality of the posts. The only way to guarantee thoughtful, informative discussion is to write thoughtful, informative posts. AppleNova is not a real-time chat forum. You have time to compose messages and edit them before and after posting.
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Wyatt
On twitter: @bwyatt
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Near Indianapolis
 
2010-01-21, 09:58

I think you should have stuck with #3. It would have been even better with a Rod Beck jersey and the accompanying mullet.


Twitter: bwyatt | Minecraft: bwyatt_IN
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Iago
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Hmm?
 
2010-01-21, 13:25

You look like beard-era Steve Jobs man.
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