[Ebby]

Dear Credit Card Companies.

Thanks for bringing America into sync with the rest of the world. Those chip cards really make me feel secure.

So secure that I and many like me hate using them now which, I suppose, makes it really hard to steal.

Let me explain. The blinking lights down the side of the reader indicate I should swipe. After doing so, it detects a chip and blares an error sound. Thanks. So I enter the chip side which, yeah, takes a loooong time. But lookie here, an error sound. See if you swipe first, the system gets confused and the cashier has to cancel the transaction. No biggie I guess.

All set to go? Good! Chip time! oh, but it was expecting a swipe again and wasn't set up to read the chip. Waiting there like a moron, staring at the "Swipe Card" screen, the cashier looks over, shrugs and waits longer.

Ahhh! But see, I have a secret weapon! I have my cards on my phone! We cancel again, and I unlock the phone and hold it up. Happy beeps, checkmarks, and good times were had! I smile.

Unbeknownst to me, the transaction was denied, but it sure doesn't tell me on the screen, or my phone. No, the Cashier had to tell me in front of everyone it didn't work again.

#^$*@)$&

I paid with cash. Really safe system we have guys.

-Ebby

[Ryan]

To the fucker who stole my bike:

Drop dead.