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Dancing naked dinosaurs... WITH BAZOOKAS


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View Poll Results: Your thoughts?
Wicked awesome! 32 66.67%
Wicked lame! 3 6.25%
What? Brad's gone koo-koo!! 13 27.08%
Voters: 48. You may not vote on this poll

Dancing naked dinosaurs... WITH BAZOOKAS
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Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2004-09-04, 18:15

Inspired by a recent post by pscates and wanting a way to kill a few hours this afternoon since my Internet connection is always on the fritz, I decided to put A and B together and make the next killer commercial for Apple.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0
You gotta beat most people over the head with explosions, titties, dancing, flying graphics, CGI dinosaurs, music, etc. for them to notice anything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0
Hey, I think I just came up with Apple's new ad campaign!

Dancing naked dinosaurs, with bazookas.
No, I haven't been possessed by the Ghost of Messiahtosh.

And, so, without further ado...

Dancing naked dinosaurs with bazookas.

Now, make your vote count!!

The quality of this board depends on the quality of the posts. The only way to guarantee thoughtful, informative discussion is to write thoughtful, informative posts. AppleNova is not a real-time chat forum. You have time to compose messages and edit them before and after posting.
  quote
Wrao
Yarp
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Road Warrior
 
2004-09-04, 18:18

I can't believe it doesn't have firewire 800

sheesh!




By the way, my vote "wicked wicked" wasn't listed.
  quote
Messiahtosh
Apple Historian
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2004-09-04, 18:20

What on earth did you use to make that text, the way Apple does it?

And anyway.
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2004-09-04, 18:25

Oh. My. Gosh.

I'm at a loss...

I thought I might've just inspired you, in general, with my comments about commercials and you set out to make a "real" one. I was totally digging the iMac footage, thinking "yeah, something like that!" and then this dinosaur and all drops in and I'm cackling like a pre-schooler.



All it takes is a spark, people. Don't be afraid to voice those dreams and wishes...they're in all of us. Today, I saw dancing dinosaurs with bazookas, and I will never be the same again.





  quote
Moogs
Hates the Infotainment
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: NSA Archives
 
2004-09-04, 18:37

Would've been better if the Dinosaur had a Firewire hub on its back and a nice rack. Common Brad, get with the program here!








  quote
ast3r3x
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2004-09-04, 18:41

I love it. Excellent.
  quote
wretched
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2004-09-04, 18:41

I was expecting a dinosaur with boobs man >_> Psht, now I have to rely on real porn...

On the other hand, that rocked! Where'd you get that footage of the iMac O.O :: blinks ::

Starsky: "Do it."
Think for Yourself. Question Authority
  quote
Messiahtosh
Apple Historian
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2004-09-04, 18:43

Quote:
Originally Posted by wretched
I was expecting a dinosaur with boobs man >_> Psht, now I have to rely on real porn...

On the other hand, that rocked! Where'd you get that footage of the iMac O.O :: blinks ::
The iMac promo video. www.apple.com/imac
  quote
curiousuburb
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: that interweb thing
 
2004-09-04, 18:57

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad
No, I haven't been possessed by the Ghost of Messiahtosh.
Add a voiceover about how stupid Michael Dell must be... and 23 more edits...
  quote
wretched
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2004-09-04, 19:03

Quote:
Add a voiceover about how stupid Michael Dell must be... and 23 more edits...
Don't forget the Dino with boobs man! boobs! You'd get the kids liking the ad AND perverted old men!
  quote
sunrain
Veteran Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portlandia
 
2004-09-04, 19:30

Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousuburb
Add a voiceover about how stupid Michael Dell must be... and 23 more edits...
And if you could have the dinosaur roll its eyes...
  quote
stoo
Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
 
2004-09-04, 19:53

That was awesome, but the dinosaur is wearing a hat, and therefore is not naked.

Far cooler than any real iMac ads will be.
  quote
curiousuburb
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2004-09-04, 20:13

  quote
spotcatbug
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2004-09-04, 20:17

I voted "lame" 'cause there weren't no titties.
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2004-09-04, 20:20

Goodness, what have I created?
  quote
onlyafterdark
Sucker for shiny objects
 
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2004-09-04, 20:21

  quote
curiousuburb
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2004-09-04, 20:24

Search uncovered 3d models of a semi-reptilian alien female with weapons... and boobs...


Not quite what I'd call guns

Leonis might be interested from a purely professional standpoint.
  quote
Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2004-09-04, 21:02

Well, I'm glad only a small percentage thing I'm totally off my rocker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Messiahtosh
What on earth did you use to make that text, the way Apple does it?
I *very* carefully labored away in FCP to get that text to look nice like that.



All of that mess is for about 5 seconds of text on the screen.

Anywho, just for the heck of it, I'm thinking about actually putting more than just a couple hours of time in and doing a whole "dancing naked dinosaurs with bazookas" line of commercials. Am I crazy? YOU BETCHA!

Thanks, everybody, for the positive comments.

The quality of this board depends on the quality of the posts. The only way to guarantee thoughtful, informative discussion is to write thoughtful, informative posts. AppleNova is not a real-time chat forum. You have time to compose messages and edit them before and after posting.
  quote
onlyafterdark
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2004-09-04, 21:05

Awsome, cant wait to see it when its done.
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2004-09-04, 21:18

That thing makes me want to get Final Cut Express and dabble in the whole video thing. I've never done it at all, but I've done static mockups for so long now, I'd probably enjoy slicing and dicing existing Apple footage and pairing it with the perfect music to make my own ads.

I figure I bitch about it enough, I should put my money where my mouse is and see what I could cobble together? Goodness knows I'm not short on ideas...only talent!



I, too, was impressed by the dead-on version of the text treatment. It meshed really well with the existing Apple footage.

I've got a buddy with a sexy, husky voice...maybe I could persuade her to do some voiceover work for a 12-pack and a foot rub?

She'll be talking to me sometimes and I'll think "damn, if she was hawking bottles of piss, I believe I'd buy a case".

  quote
Chinney
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2004-09-04, 21:28

Something along those lines would benefit Apple. Needs a bit more work...and breasts, I agree...but I think that is the right direction.
  quote
Brad
Selfish Heathen
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Zone of Pain
 
2004-09-04, 21:31

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0
That thing makes me want to get Final Cut Express and dabble in the whole video thing. I've never done it at all, but I've done static mockups for so long now, I'd probably enjoy slicing and dicing existing Apple footage and pairing it with the perfect music to make my own ads.
For the record, I *tried* to do this in FCE, but immediately I found it too limiting. A major missing feature in FCE is key framing, something that's necessary for all that motion and fading of the text. Granted, you can still do a whole *lot* with FCE; it just wasn't enough for my job.

The quality of this board depends on the quality of the posts. The only way to guarantee thoughtful, informative discussion is to write thoughtful, informative posts. AppleNova is not a real-time chat forum. You have time to compose messages and edit them before and after posting.
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2004-09-04, 21:33

One small quibble. Brad chose the wrong music. I think a selection from our patron saint might've had more resonance.

Or not.
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2004-09-04, 21:40

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad
For the record, I *tried* to do this in FCE, but immediately I found it too limiting. A major missing feature in FCE is key framing, something that's necessary for all that motion and fading of the text. Granted, you can still do a whole *lot* with FCE; it just wasn't enough for my job.
Oh yeah? Hmmm, that's something to know. Well, I can swing $299 a lot better than $999. Training wheels...

Key framing, it's called? I know nothing about that whole side of things, but it's definitely something I should consider learning. Might open up some options and doors for me, down the road. Truthfully, the whole digital video thing interests me 10x more - and has for quite a while now! - than web design and things of that nature.

I've always dreamed of owning a camcorder, over owning a copy of Dreamweaver!

  quote
scratt
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2004-09-04, 21:44

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad
For the record, I *tried* to do this in FCE, but immediately I found it too limiting. A major missing feature in FCE is key framing, something that's necessary for all that motion and fading of the text. Granted, you can still do a whole *lot* with FCE; it just wasn't enough for my job.
Wow I am impressed that FCP did that to be honest.
I haven't used it much for text.
I have to admit I thought you'd done the text with Motion.

If you can do that with FCP whats all the excitement about Motion for?

'Remember, measure life by the moments that take your breath away, not by how many breaths you take'
Extreme Sports Cafe | ESC's blog | scratt's blog | @thescratt
  quote
windowsblowsass
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2004-09-04, 21:48

Quote:
Originally Posted by pscates2.0
Oh yeah? Hmmm, that's something to know. Well, I can swing $299 a lot better than $999. Training wheels...

Key framing, it's called? I know nothing about that whole side of things, but it's definitely something I should consider learning. Might open up some options and doors for me, down the road. Truthfully, the whole digital video thing interests me 10x more - and has for quite a while now! - than web design and things of that nature.

I've always dreamed of owning a camcorder, over owning a copy of Dreamweaver!

well if u havent done it at all you should start with some basics in imovie before you go throwing $300 down for a program

Last edited by windowsblowsass : 2004-09-04 at 21:55.
  quote
MacUsers
Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta.
 
2004-09-04, 21:52

totally awesome.
  quote
trailmaster308
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: lousyana
 
2004-09-04, 21:52

Awesome job Brad!! I say go for a whole series of dino commercials. It would be really awesome to have the dino's with different colors like the iPod minis.

Did you bring me a monkey?
  quote
psmith2.0
Mr. Vieira
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Tennessee
 
2004-09-04, 22:07

Quote:
Originally Posted by windowsblowsass
well if u havent done it at all you should start with some basics in imovie before you go throwing $300 down for a program
I've dabbled in iMovie quite a bit. When I say "I know nothing" about that end of things, I'm talking more advanced, higher-end "serious" apps, represented by FCE and FCP.

iMovie I've got a bit of a handle on. Only an advanced numbnut would have trouble getting results out of iMovie! It's a great program to get started on! But I don't believe iMovie let's you do those text things that I spoke of earlier (even though, come to find out, neither does FCE).

Don't worry about what I throw around...I wouldn't do it if I didn't have it. Besides, what if I was, say, getting a new Mac, and it was only $99?
  quote
curiousuburb
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Join Date: May 2004
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2004-09-04, 22:49

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad
I *very* carefully labored away in FCP to get that text to look nice like that.



All of that mess is for about 5 seconds of text on the screen.

Anywho, just for the heck of it, I'm thinking about actually putting more than just a couple hours of time in and doing a whole "dancing naked dinosaurs with bazookas" line of commercials. Am I crazy? YOU BETCHA!

Thanks, everybody, for the positive comments.
Very impressive.

As for the whole line... Dinos, plasma weapons, boobs... (clickable)


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